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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Porn - I use it and feel bad - help convince me porn is wrong

737 replies

GuiltyPornUser · 10/04/2011 09:50

Firstly, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, although I thought it may be the most appropriate. I'm a married man, and I use porn fairly regularly. It's not something I feel has a massive negative effect on my life, but I feel bad about it. I'm not someone who specially goes out of my way to buy porn, (I've never paid for it), but with the internet, it's only ever a few clicks away.

I want to be convinced that it's wrong. I recently read Andrea Dworkin's book on pornography, but it hasn't stopped me. I appreciate that a lot of stuff on the web is very brutal and degrading to women, but a lot of the stuff is less obviously so.

My DW wouldn't be happy with me using porn, and I want to stop. I want to be convinced that it's wrong, and how I go about stopping using porn, when it's so easy to find on the internet.

There may be some here who think porn is acceptable and I'm just suffering from some almost religious guilt.

I'd really welcome some advice here, because my DW could find out one day and I want to stop.

OP posts:
dittany · 19/04/2011 21:21

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prosperina · 19/04/2011 21:20

Dittany

One woman abused is too many, end of. But to use an analogy, if a married woman is battered by her husband, do we ban marriage?

prosperina · 19/04/2011 21:19

No, just because you think so, doesn't make it so - I've seen the felicity video, and she was without doubt abused - however this thread has not answered that question for the porn industry as a whole

dittany · 19/04/2011 21:17

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sethstarkaddersmackerel · 19/04/2011 21:17

If you think the question "Are women in porn videos abused?" is unanswered you are completely nuts.

Beachcomber · 19/04/2011 21:16

It may well be Prosperina, I just know it comes up in first position today when I do the google 'porn' experiment. Pornhub is equally hideous and is the site I and others talked about earlier than has the '18 and abused' advert down the bottom.

prosperina · 19/04/2011 21:16

There's another related question "does porn lead to sexual violence", and the settled evidence seems to be that it doesn't and may even reduce it.

papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=913013

queenbathsheba · 19/04/2011 21:15

x posted with 21:13,

crikey pro porn rhetoric in here as well.

queenbathsheba · 19/04/2011 21:13

Hope you don't mind me popping in here as well. So utterly exhausted by the fact that people want peer research, references and "more vigorous debate"

If i found out that a company produced goods that were unethical and packaged up products that involved exploiting people I would avoid it.

Not one pro porn person on the other thead has put foward any evidence that porn isn't either harmful to women or the (mainly) men who are using it.

prosperina · 19/04/2011 21:13

The big question that is completely unanswered is

"Are women in porn videos abused?"
"If so, how many?"

This thread (or any related thread) does not answer this question. Some posters argue a priori that porn is "torturing women", and it's not clear at all from this thread that this is the case. At least in the pro-porn side, the videos are technically legal, so it's up to the anti-porn campaigners to provide evidence, not just anecdotes from a handful of ex-performers.

I've not made my mind up, but shouting "abuse" and "torture" isn't an argument

dittany · 19/04/2011 21:08

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sethstarkaddersmackerel · 19/04/2011 20:56

'Why aren't pro-people required to produce rigorous research to support their argument that porn is harmless.'

Exactly!
I was thinking about this the other day. If someone introduces a new drug or foodstuff they have to jump through all kinds of hoops to prove it is harmless. Porn is quite druggy but it is fine to experiment on the public and their kids....

dittany · 19/04/2011 20:54

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dittany · 19/04/2011 20:52

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jenny60 · 19/04/2011 20:42

Prosperina: look at the TOP TEN list Dittany gave us ffs. Why aren't pro-people required to produce rigorous research to support their argument that porn is harmless. I want to see some. I want the people who defend this stuff to prove that women, children and men are not abused and objectified by this industry. Show me.

prosperina · 19/04/2011 20:12

Beachcomber,

Bullporn is the 12,000th most viewed website in the world, pornhub the 63rd most viewed website in the world. Bullporn is by no means the most popular website out there

Beachcomber · 19/04/2011 19:04

In "Pornland", Gail Dines talks about how Jenna Jameson is slagged off by much of the porn fuckers crowd for being 'uptight' and thinking she is 'better than other porn chicks' because she only did anal with sextoys and not with men.

The language used about her by these people is disgusting, all about her being 'used up' and making horrid comments about the state of her body. Sad

I know that poor woman has been through enough and nobody should ask anything of her, but she would be such a powerful spokeswoman for women in porn if she ever wanted to.

EggyFucker · 19/04/2011 18:51

I typed you ok, stewpot? then and changed it

would that have been really bad ? Smile

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/04/2011 18:45

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Beachcomber · 19/04/2011 18:43

Hey stewie, you OK?

EggyFucker · 19/04/2011 18:39

you ok stewie ?

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 19/04/2011 18:10

are you ok Stewie?

interesting about Jenna Jameson. I thought it was ironic that she was brought up today on that other thread by a man who was denying that porn actresses have often experienced rape and abuse before entering the industry.

StewieGriffinsMom · 19/04/2011 18:06

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dittany · 19/04/2011 17:54

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dittany · 19/04/2011 17:53

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