Porn - I use it and feel bad - help convince me porn is wrong

Helping someone form an educated opinion does not mean you are responsible for their choices.
Is change not what we want here?
And if the OP was a woman would she have been dismissed as quickly?

There are 1000's of women happily employed in the porn industry - women who are not being raped or abused ( abuse does happen but to what percentage of women i don't know? - does anyone ? ) some women are earning pretty decent money ( women certainly get paid more than men in the porn industry ) plus I've heard there are feminists are out there making porn films. So you can't have a one view fits all approach - what about male homosexual porn? Is that exploiting men? Lesbian porn? - it's a wide issue.

I think dittany & Beachcomber in particular would benefit from reading this:

Women addicted to porn

The really interesting thing about his article is how similar the testimony of these women is to what you hear from male users of porn. Are these women misogynists? Can they not be feminists?

They feel guilty because they know it's bad to objectify women but that doesn't stop them from doing it. Most men who use porn are in the same position.

GuiltyPornUser, I'm going to give you about another 30 seconds of my time. You said this;

"I am serious about this, however you make the comment "if you think of women as human beings you cannot consume porn". This is clearly false, as I, and I imagine, many millions more are co-opted into the porn culture, but in our real life dealings with women don't view them as subhuman."

This is exactly why I said 'it isn't our job to help you find your humanity/educate you'. You are not co-opted into the porn culture - you make an adult and inhumane decision to wank to images of humans being sexually abused - own it.

The women in porn are real women. They are part of your real life dealings with women. You, by consuming porn, are actively involved in the rape and abuse of real life women - you are masturbating to it for crying out loud.

Read Jensen. You are not a feminist if you practice misogyny. Consuming porn is misogynistic.

Get off MN and take responsibility for your own education. As has been said here; would you think it was ok to ask a bunch a black people to explain to you being a white supremacist is wrong?

MoreCrack I think it's because we (women) are perpetually being held accountable/responsible for helping others to avoid abusing us...

e.g. women don't walk alone at night/get too drunk - you might get raped.

instead of Men - don't rape women

so this request for help is reminiscent of that. Women - I use porn which exploits, degrades and abuses you. Help me to stop.

It's not aggressive, it's a refusal to be held accountable or responsible for stopping the behaviour. If it comes across as aggressive, that's a lot to do with the fact that women as a gender are supposed to be helpful aren't we?

Ok, here goes.

I have used porn in the past, and I do not hate women or view them as subhuman. I am a woman.
Reading the threads in this section has been helpful, I have been able to come to clear conclusions as to why porn is exploitative and wrong, as a result will never watch it again.

Why do the feminists in this section have no interest in helping a man to come to those same conclusions?

The feminist topic could be so helpful and achieve much more if the regulars were less aggressive.

The tone of your posts are not really very 'guilty' are they?

About the racism/BNP parallel.

Racism is the problem of the racist not of the BME communities. I dont therefore think would be helpful for them all to sit together and work it out.

This seems a very odd thread.

OP - I'm with Dittany - I'll explain why.

Abusing alcohol, admitting to and wanting help for it is very different. It is an addiction to something inanimate, a substance. So to liken your use of porn to this is like saying, oh it's substance addiction. But the analogy is crap (and to recognise this is essential to you actually changing if you really want to) precisely because alcohol is not HUMAN. In using porn you are contributing to the support and perpetuance of an entire industry created to abuse and exploit HUMANS, and in this case, predominantly women. So there is no analogy. Hence why Dittany's analogy to a BNP member asking advice on how to stop being racist to a group of people who are not white/British (whatever the BNP's fucked up manifesto is TBH) e.g. they ARE the PEOPLE you are effectively abusing (however indirectly you may think - again this is where your problem lies - the disconnect in being able to, for the time you log-on, click on some porn and get off, to dismiss the humanity of any of the people you are getting off to - and then snap back into being a feminist the moment you've ejaculated.)

Do you have a daughter OP? Nieces? Sisters? A mum? You seriously need to work on your empathy gaining power over the urge to jerk-off. Masturbation is entirely natural, but why not use your imagination and replay some good times from memories you have rather than have to watch some poor Felicity have her spirit crushed for your pleasure? That's the only decision you have to make. Only you can make it and only you can change.

Sorry I just realised that SGM.

"to use porn you have to feel like the women in it are subhuman and not worthy of your consideration."
dittany unfortunately I'm pretty sure the majority of male porn users never give it that amount of deep thought. And without sounding rude, many will not have the capactiy or willingness to understand it either.

Here's 1 guy apparently wanting to be educated - why not take that opportunity, I'm sure it doesn't come up often!

Well if we're playing the 'not talking to you' game, then would any other poster like to ask dittany to answer my questions?

Well if there are, maybe someone who knows about them could post a link for the OP?

I think when someone asks for help/educating about anything, and you are in a position to help, then you should if you can! Even just by saying well this isn't the perfect place but have you tried x y or z?