Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Travelling with DCs with different names

34 replies

BlingLoving · 24/03/2011 11:23

I wasn't sure where to put this , so putting it here.

My family are very concerned as I did not take DH's name when we got married but DS will have his surname. They are convinced I will not be able to travel with DS. I was prepared for this level of frustration so had assumed I'd have to keep a copy of my marriage certificate and possibly DS's birth certificate on me when travelling, but my parents (paranoid? Never) have heard that a friend who was travelling with her DC AND Her husband STILL had a problem and they are panicking.

Any thoughts/comments? My mother would like me to simply change my n ame as she thinks that would be easier. Her incredibly stupid helpful suggestion was that I change my name on just my passport for convenience. She didn't know how to respond to my, "for a start, that is not convenient and secondly I'm not changing my name simply to reinforce the patronising patriachy of people at customs."

OP posts:
Sportsmum · 24/03/2011 11:47

A friend traveled to the US with her DD - same surnames - and they wouldn't let her in until they had spoken to DH to check that he had given permission for the DW to leave the country with DC!!!!! Surname had nothing to do with it. When my own parents travel with my kids - different surname - I always give them a letter signed by DH and myself giving contact numbers and "authorisation" for them to travel. Sad I know - but you never know how "careful" some authorities are going to be.

Original poster
BlingLoving · 24/03/2011 11:47

Iskra - I'm finding myself getting all bolshie now! Grin Totally have no problem with marriage and/or birth certificate but letter from DH giving me permission. That feels like something I should fight on moral grounds.

Arrgh, this being a feminist thing is hard!

OP posts:
iskra · 24/03/2011 11:45

No, the passport doesn't say who the parents are.

In that case, I would add to my travel documents your marriage cert, birth cert & a notarised letter from your partner.

Bramshott · 24/03/2011 11:42

I think regardless of whether you have the same name or not, if you are travelling abroad with DCs and only one parent you are supposed to have a signed letter from the other parent.

Geocentric · 24/03/2011 11:38

In that case I should think that taking his birth certificate along should be fine. Smile

Original poster
BlingLoving · 24/03/2011 11:37

Thanks both, but we will not be giving DS any part of my name. My name does not work as a middle name and I don't particularly care that much.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlingLoving · 24/03/2011 11:36

It's very likely that I will regularly travel with just DS, especially while on maternity leave, as both my family and DH's are scattered around so I'll probably take the opportunity to visit them while I'm not working. Potentially, I am likely to leave the UK at least twice with just DS and me in the next few months. Possibly more, as on two additional trips we're planning together I might go ahead and DH will catch me up (although on one of those, I will travel with PIL so actually, DS will have someone with his name with us I guess).

Doesn't a baby passport say who the parents are?

OP posts:
Geocentric · 24/03/2011 11:36

My cousin kept her name, but her children have both surnames (for example, Smith Jones). They've travelled abroad several times as a family and not had problems (and we live in a country that is VERY strict on minors travelling abroad).

iskra · 24/03/2011 11:30

You can't change your name just on your passport.

I don't know how you can convince your parents that it's not a problem. I have my mum's surname & thus a different surname to my dad - it was never a problem when we travelled as a family. I have my own surname & DD has DP's surname, & again we have not had any problems when travelling together. When travelling alone I might take a copy of our marriage certificate/her birth certificate just to be sure, but that hasn't happened yet. Think there have been threads about this in the general travel section.

DD has my surname as one of her middle names (& I have my dad's surname as the same) so if you look at her passport & at my passport it's clear there is a name connection iyswim.