Travelling with DCs with different names

My DCs dont have my surname - it is one of their middle names though - never had any problems - travelled a lot as a familiy - not loads on our own

I don't know if this is relevant, but I know of a family who all share the same surname and still get problems with immigration. The parents are 1 UK / 1 US citizens and children have dual nationality (or whatever the term is.) The UK parent can get hassle if taking UK/US children into or out of the US if the US parent isn't there. Lots of "hwy do you come here so often?" as well as qs about the children. I don't think it's as bad in the UK but depends on the individual customs official. Other countries are variable. I know this is a different situation but it does highlight that having the same surname does not end all immigration issues.

(Over here, if either parent travels alone you need a special notarized letter - official form. They are very strict.)

The letter from partner when you travel alone, btw, is so that in case of divorce/ split parents one can't take the children away to a different country (and escape legal rights of country they're coming from, iyswim).

I'm not married and DCs don't have my surname. Had a problem (and a big lecture) going into Switzerland because I only had their passports and no birth certificate. Possibly complicated by the fact that they're mixed race and I'm white. Customs man kept saying 'How do I know they're yours' over and over again and I seriously thought he wasn't going to let us in. thankfully five mins of both boys constantly interrupting with 'Mummy' (first time I've appreciated them interrupting)eventually got through to him and he let us through.

The next time I took their birth certificates and no one made any comment so I do think a lot of it can depend on who you're dealing with and what side of bed they got out of that morning.

In future I will always take birth certificates if not travelling with DP. I would be pretty annoyed if they wanted a letter from him giving me 'permission' to take them abroad esp. as he doesn't have PR for the eldest!

Mine are both older and perfectly capable of talking for themselves, but I was still asked for birth certificates by immigration control at checkin for the Eurostar last summer when they were 12 and 7.

When my DD was younger, customer told me I ought to take a copy of her birth certificate with me when I travelled with her. They said it is not a problem now that she is older (6.5) as she is capable (and oh, so willing!) to speak for herself if questioned!

In many european countries when you get married you don't take your husbands surname - so I travel alone regularly with the dds who have a different surname to mine. They have Italian ID cards and I have a British passport- I was asked once ( in 6 years approx 3 trips a year) to show a birth certificate. HOWEVER what the dds have on their ID cards is a line saying that they can be escorted by and then it says my name and dh name. What I think is a very sensible idea. We could have added g parents etc if needed.
I have been told that when they are older I should paperclip a copy of birth certificate in the passport just incase.

Interesting thread. My dcs have my surname as a middle name on their passports, but dh's surname. I did not change my name when we got married. I have not travelled alone, but we did queue up at passport control in Austria and Switzerland separately. Me with dd and dh with ds, for no particular reason. Both times they questionned me about dd, and started to say I should have a letter, but calmed down when I pointed out my name in her passport. I was a bit about it, as there is no legal need for dc to have the same surname as parents, and UK didn't seem to have a problem.
If this is going to become a more common occurrence for any parent travelling without their other half, it needs to be far more widely advertised and flagged up by airlines.

3 different names in this family. We've travelled a lot and never had the slightest problem.

partially changing your name (eg keeping your own for professional purposes and changing the name on your passport) is the worst thing you can do - confuses American immigration no end if you are trying to go there for a conference and you show them the conference programme with your unmarried name on it (experienced by several friends of mine).

and yes, I have heard of people travelling alone with dcs having trouble even when they have the same name as them.

I think it's only recently been brought in by UK borders. I've happily travelled with my "non-matching" DCs for a decade or so, but was asked for the first time this year. As my DCs are bigger, and answered robustly "Of course that's Mummy" they didn't ask for documents (good job, didn't have anything with me).

Child trafficking is serious.

But as pointed out, non-matching surnames are not in themselves a particularly reliable indicator (but might be handy if it's a random "auntie" scenario, I suppose). The officials will be looking at your attitude and demeanour when challenged, as much as what documents you have.

I'm not married to DP and DD does not have my last name. I travel via Schiphol airport regularly and they do sometimes ask for a birth certificate, or a copy of DPs passport. It's luck of the draw, sometimes they ask, sometimes they don't. You're doing the right thing taking extra documents just in case, but I doubt it's necessary to change your name.

The anecdote from your parents' friend sounds a bit to me. Why would there be trouble if the child travelled with the father present, just because there is another woman with a different name. They either misunderstood or there was more to it than that.

its never occured to me to worry - I blithely passed through Gatwick last year with DD who has her Dad's surname. Her passport is hers, mine is mine - there's no law that says we have to have the same names. I can't see where the problem occurs, how do surnames relate to the liklihood of child abduction?

I assume the reason OP's family are worrying is because lots of people believe that you are 'supposed' to change your name when you get married - which is just wrong and you just have to explain it.

I've kept my surname and DD has my husband's. My DD has UK/US passports, where as I only have US. I've never had a problem, even with traveling alone with her. I would take a copy of the birth certificate if I were organized just to be sure.

As Sportsmum says, the US can be a bit difficult about these things, as they are really concerned by international parental kidnappings. But again, never had a problem, but perhaps it's because I'm "one of them"

PoP - I presume adoptive/donor single parents don't have another parent's name on the birth certificate, so that would make the situation fairly clear? But I can see that people who have split up and lost track of the other parent, or who have a very difficult ex, might have problems.

BTW, the story your parents are getting het up about is almost certainly not true or has been mangled in the telling somehow - both parents travelling together with DCs should be absolutely fine, unless for some reason they believed the mother was not the actual mother, in which case carrying the birth certificate would solve the problem. Certainly much easier than changing your name just on your passport, and then trying to explain why your ID/credit cards etc did not match.

Yes, I've had this problem. I got stopped on the way back in after a daytrip to France because the DC have a different surname to me - they said I'm supposed to have a letter from their father. I always do this now but I deeply deeply resent it. What if you don't have any contact with the father? What if you don't know where he is even, or if contact could be dangerous?

If it's the case that a letter is required even if the surnames are the same, what happens to single parents who have adopted or used donor insemination?

I quite agree with what you said to your mother! Mine (and my MiL) both seemed to believe for a long time that legally I was actually Mrs DH's surname even though I hadn't changed my name...

As for the travelling thing, if you are aware and prepared, it is really not a hassle. You're more likely to get stopped if you have a different name from the DCs, but I have heard of some people with the same name as their DCs being stopped and asked if they have the other parent's agreement to travel abroad with the DCs - that was more on the US/Canada or US/Mexico border than here, but they are getting hotter on it in Europe too because of post-divorce custody battles.

I have a different name from my DCs, who were born outside the UK, and I have been travelling solo with them since they were little. The frequency of being asked if they are mine etc has been increasing, so I travel with their birth certificates and DH's death certificate to show that they are mine and I am not travelling against the wishes of the other parent. Children's passports for some reason do not give their parents' names, and of course that still wouldn't mean that both parents agreed to the travel.

I guess for most people a letter from the other parent is a good idea just in case. I am taking one of DS's friends overseas in the summer, and will get his parents to do a permission letter just in case.

We've done it the Spanish way (we currently live in Spain) so DD has both DH's and my surnames (not double barrelled or as a middle name).

When we (hopefully) have DC2, which will be in the UK, we will do the same thing because there is no fixed way of "doing" a name on a birth certificate as such.

In normal UK situations, the DCs will probably use the surname that is written first (as the Spaniards do) which happens to be DH's (although it could just as easily have been mine, but it sounds better that way round).

Bling - but despite having the same surname, your DH would also need a signed letter from you if he was travelling alone with the DCs.

Italian women don't change their surname when they marry and Spanish children take a combination of father/mother surnames.

None of them have any trouble travelling!

Dd's Dad is Italian, so she has his surname. We don't have any trouble. The only more recent development is that European countries are asking for letters giving permission for a minor to travel if they are travelling with only one parent, to minimise the risk of cross-border abduction. Would it help to think that if your child's father travels alone with them, even if they have his surname, eventually you'll be asked to give him your permission?