I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

"Lots of young women are brought up to believe that being polite and ladylike and demure and charming are A VERY GOOD THING."

I am sure that's part of the problem.

An equally insidious and possibly more unattractive part, to old gimmers like me, is the culture of tits and arse and raunch that is becoming more mainstream.

Boxes again.

Every prism I have ever seen was just awful.

I agree with your thinking about altruism, though. Terrible.

It's pity feminism can't have a new name. To me anything with 'ISM' at the end conjures up images of extreme views and intolerance. Well all the ISM's I can think of anyway.

I don't think feminism will ever be taken as seriously as it wants to be simply for that reason. After all we frown upon other ism's don't we; Racism, sexism, national socialism, communism the list goes on and on. I am honestly unable at the moment to think of a way of group thinking that is an ism that isn't negative.
They may well be BUT and this is the important bit. However individual and free thinking I like to think of myself, I'm sure that my knee jerk reaction to a group ending in ism is pretty run of the mill.

Seth I think it must be because I'm having a bad day but the way you talked about me in the third person made me cry. Silly eh? It's all I ever get from the feminism section, a sort of bitchy bullying when I never really say anything to warrant it. I normally enjoy your posts and I never wanted to get your back up, honestly. I hope to chat you again in another thread but I'm leaving this one now as I'm not able for it.

What I mean is, posters often come on here to challenge feminists and then get very hacked off when they are asked to defend their own point of view. You do realise that in every other sphere, feminists have to justify their viewpoint at every turn? Is it too much to ask that this space is one where the tables are turned?

When I read this board, what i see is exploration rather than rejection. You see it the other way around, it seems. Why do you think that might be?

Ha well done for asking politely then

Sorry I thought you were suggesting that it was true

(Man hating has been dealt with)

No I haven't. I'm not saying I agree with it btw just I've heard it uttered.

I'm very amused that WriterofDreams has had that advice more than once, it's not just me then

I wonder if she has ever thought 'hmm, that is what more than one person has said to me, maybe I should try and do it and see what happens.'

Hi Marsha, have you read the thread?

The idea of!

Not that it is man hating etc

Well I think it's something to do with feminists being man-haters and unattractive to men. Usually why females distance themselves from it.

I don't really get your question AyeRobot sorry can you rephrase it?

Fair enough Engelbert but don't you think the title of this thread is likely to provoke debate?

Is it because you are trying to get feminists to defend their viewpoint whilst they are trying to get you to defend yours, WoD?

I can see what you're saying Albrecht but I don't find that to be true at all. I've often tried to get into a debate with feminists both here and in real life and all I've ever gotten is a sort of shutting down, a refusal to engage which really surprises me as I've always expected feminists to be quite opinionated and willing to express that opinion. But no, I usually get "I'm not talking to you, go and read a book," which I find oddly passive aggressive.

I'd say that's fair Frosty. I don't expect everyone to reply to everything I say - I'm not quite that egotistical My problem is that when I post on feminism threads is that whenever someone does engage with me it's usually to tell me that they don't intend to engage with me any more, like seth did. That's where my issue lies.

Ok I have a theory (its not much of a theory but its my theory, ha ham...)

Lots of young women are brought up to believe that being polite and ladylike and demure and charming are A VERY GOOD THING.

Feminism allows or sometimes results in women shaking this off and being a bit gobby and sarcastic. I am not saying feminists are rude or thoughtless, just that it gives you permission to speak your mind and some people's minds are louder than others.

That loudness and assertiveness can seem a bit aggressive, especially if you are a bit sensitive (nothing wrong with being sensitive).

I used to work with a woman who drove me mad. She firmly believed that there should be no maternity leave (she had no kids, of course). I had to walk away when she was speaking, she made me want to throttle her.