I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

well I would say its impossible for there to be a sungle way to behace but lots of other dont

be it from ignorance or beng taught there is only one way

and yes man hating feminists just use the word feminist as a word to describe man hating

'oh yes I'm a feminist, fucking men, can't stop me doing what I want'

'all men are bastards, I'm a feminist cause I know what they are like'

seriously I do wonder how I've met such thick people

on another note, I dont really know what I should be doing to not support malke supremecy

I just try to be a nice person,look after those I love and have empathy for all.
Also try to believe in myself and not be a sheep

Out of interest, what have your RL feminists done/said to show that they hate men? Do men-hating feminists actually profess to hate men?

Trinity - you know feminists disagree with one another on an awful lot of issues, so surely it's impossible that there is a single way to behave attached to the f-word?

All it means is that you think women and men should be equal and you behave in a way that doesn't support male supremacy.

I guess what I mean is that if I were to say to someone 'I'm a feminist' they would immeadiately assume things about me

whereas if they see how I act and learn about me then they can see my morals, values what I believe in etc.

and I seriously have not in real life met a woman who proclaims to be a feminist that hasn't absolutely hated men

Trinity, I'm interested in what you say about the label. In what ways do you feel your behaviour would need to change if you were labelled as a feminist?

dont like to have a label which means I have to act a certain way

any feminists I have met are man haters

There are immediate penalties to being a feminist.
Material advantages are gained only over the medium to long term; and they pertain to all women whether they fought for them (and took the hit at the time) or not.

(However I think there are massive immediate psychological advantages to being a feminist, particularly a radical feminist - without feminism I would be mentally ill, and health is more important. This is not the case for everyone)

Odd how it's a hideously heinous thing to be a woman who appears to hate men and we go out of our way to make sure no man ever thinks we do hate them, but a man who acts like he hates women is just accepted as normal

I think it's ignorance too, though, in answer to the OP. Ignorance that there is an issue at all; and then ignorance based on the propaganda by anti-feminists that feminists behave a certain way.

I think sometimes it is a case that these women have, or have developed, "qualities" that are valued by the patriarchy and so would have a lot to lose if feminism achieved its aims.

I hate that.

When women bang on about wanting to have things bought for them, and that the man should always pay when they go out to dinner etc.

imo, you can't have it both ways.

You've got your own money. use it!

I am not sure if this is an unfeminist view but I think there is nothing strong or independent about judging a man on the size of his wallet and having a 'what have you done for me lately' attitude.

No. Far better to pull out your own purse and show that you are a financial equal.

Your DH is right.

Lots of women like that.

I did post on another thread, that yesterday in a voluntary class on feminism at the local University, there was 4 men and 4 women. I was the only one who objected to women being referred to as c*nts.

The other women (girls) said;

"Well we have got one".

They couldn't understand that HAVING a vagina didn't mean that's all women are. It was quite sad.

I left school and started university believing that feminism would be a default belief for all women. I simply assumed that all women would want to live in an equable society, where rights and privileges are not dispensed solely on the basis of genitalia.

Turns out I was in a minority of one, that none of my friends since school (bear in mind I am now in my 40s) have classed themselves as feminists. It has become something I no longer discuss with anyone as it seems to upset people too much.

thank you, inmaculada

• angry woman - very true.

Isn't it odd how "man hater" is such an insult and something that you are so desperate to avoid being seen as.

Not you you. women generally.

I haven't really thought about it before but that's quite bad, isn't it?

I'm not a man hater, I'm not a man hater, look

If you don't play ball, you are a man hater and being a man hater is a terrible thing to be.

What a good way to keep women under control.

Many fear the stereotypical view and how it will be transferred. Many women are all for the rights and equality of women.

But fear that society will view them as 'angry women' many women think being a feminist requires the angry in dungarees type.

You are clearly far from stupid, Hecate

I am a new recruit to the feminist movement.

I used to be of the mind set;
"Women have the vote, anything they want changing can be done by expressing this right".

Not really the case. Once I began to study it and really consider it I realised how ignorant I was being.

I still have some questions unanswered, but the movement for me isn't about "equality" as such, but breaking certain chains that are holding women (kind) down.

Certainly.

Simple answer. I have no idea.

I can only conclude that it was a drip drip drip over my lifetime.

I do know that growing up (in a mining village) there was a lot of misogyny. lots of abuse of women. very traditional roles. and lots of 'jokes' about feminists. I say jokes, I guess I mean sneering. I mean, where I grew up many men were openly beating 'The Wife'. So many women walking round with a black eye that it was normal. lots of page 3 fans, lots of sexism, lots of yelling at you in the street. a very 'she asked for it' mentality.

I am trying to look back and assign reasons. In truth, I am not sure how I developed such views, nor am I sure why it took me so long to really look at them objectively.

I guess I must just be stupid.

Hecate, Can I ask why you thought that was what feminism was?

I didn't think I was a feminist because I believed feminism to be about preferential treatment for women.

Men are evil and bad and always wrong in everything and the world should change in favour of women.

Whereas I believe in total equality for all people.

I truly saw feminism as saying that the person saw women as more important than any other group in society. more important than men yes, but simply being female being more important than any other gorup that a woman may belong to - socail class, disability, race, etc.

However. I have been well educated on this on here and have changed my view. I like to think I am, but you could probably tell me whether you think I am from my posts.

So I think that women who are not feminists are not feminists because they are somehow taught that is is something that it is not. iyswim.

I'm happy with my stance, and equally content for other feminists to agree or disagree with me without wanting or needing to argue my corner in an emotional, defensive or judgy/blaming way.
Which in itself can also be annoying.

Because in people like my mother's case they feel sort of superior in a martyrish way. 'Oh, I'm so put upon. Aren't I a fucking Saint' She drives me up the wall

Other women I think aren't really touched by inequality because of the way their lives pan out. Or they just hide their heads in the sand, stick their fingers in their ears and sing. Loudly'