Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

I've got quite a simple question that I just can't answer - why would a woman not be a feminist?

317 replies

MarionCole · 17/03/2011 22:49

Surely everyone wants equality of opportunity, don't they?

Would appreciate the opinions of those feminists far wiser than I.

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 18/03/2011 11:43

StewieGriffinsMom, I was thinking this the other day when I was keeping my enemies closer perusing an M R A site. They are apoplectic about feminists, yet almost all of their day to day complaints are about women who have clearly never had a feminist thought in their lives. I think it's very confusing for them.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 18/03/2011 11:43

flippin has said it better than me

its not the feminism that is making me not want to be called one

its the hideous generalisations made about the word feminist

I dont need that crap

stubbornhubby · 18/03/2011 11:43

different people have different views about what feminsim is..

eg.. wearing burkhas: should a feminist campaign to have them banned, or should he respect the clear right of women to wear what they like. Even if they are brainwashed women.. which of course they don't think they are.

eg..abortion: does a feminist believe it's the right of every woman to make her own choices, and does that mean that someone who is against abortion cannot be a feminist.

eg.. maternity leave: does being a feminist mean to have to support the ridiculous situation where a woman on extended unpaid ML (hooray that it's possible Smile accrues paid holiday leave while she's doing it Confused

It's not as simple as feminist or not

Ormirian · 18/03/2011 11:42

Apathy.

The status quo is comfortable.

They genuinely think women are so different from men there can be no equality.

flippinpeedoff · 18/03/2011 11:40

For me, I can't speak for others, the connotations are with very aggressive anti men, butch women, bulldozing their way forward regardless of the needs or feelings of others
In my past I have known women like that, in the 80's and all the Greenham common stuff, honestly and I decided if that's what feminism was count me out.
I think it has a bad name because of some hard core feminists, which is a shame. But mud sticks and I suspect that if I called myself a feminist that most people would have very similar reactions to the word and to me.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/03/2011 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeRobot · 18/03/2011 11:34

flippinpeedoff. What connotations are those?

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 18/03/2011 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flippinpeedoff · 18/03/2011 11:31

I could never describe myself as a feminist because the very word has such negative connotations. I do not want to be associated with those.

Original poster
MarionCole · 18/03/2011 11:29

Writer - for me, feminism is about equality of choice and opportunity, it doesn't matter whether you want to take that opportunity.

You should be able to have the big career if you want it and be on an equal footing to me in that career. If you don't want it, that's fine. You are allowed to be a SAHM, just as a man is allowed to be a SAHD. We are still a long way from equality of opportunity in the workplace.

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 18/03/2011 11:29

Trinity, that is really not true of the feminists on MN. Sometimes, institutions, traditions and conventions are discussed and unpicked on here, but there is rarely any individual proscribing and any that does crop up usually comes from non-regular posters.

Lacuna · 18/03/2011 11:28

You can be married - or want to be - and still be a feminist! Feminism isn't against love, you know.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/03/2011 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 18/03/2011 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 18/03/2011 11:25

see I was thinking about you two butterfly and griders when I wrote that thinking hmm maybe they are and I dont know

cause they will be intelligent real feminists Grin

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 18/03/2011 11:24

also I want to be married so I guess that strikes me off from the start

I dont know for sure, just bits of probably ill informed snippets

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 18/03/2011 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/03/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 18/03/2011 11:22

I'm sorry

I was thinking as I wrote that that maybe I was wrong about not meeting any that aren't mad

you are right, butterfly, you're not mad, you're fab Grin

AyeRobot · 18/03/2011 11:20

I've never met a feminist (i.e. one who pays more than lip service to the word) who hates men. I have met loads of women who say "all men are like that" or "what do you expect? they're men" or "men don't like x, y z". They are the men-haters. A little scratching below the surface separates those who have actually put a moments thought into feminist ideas.

WriterofDreams · 18/03/2011 11:20

I don't class myself as a feminist as I don't really fit in - I like being looked after by my DH, I like being "Mrs" I don't particularly want a big career etc. I do want equality for women, but more than once I have been sneered at in RL and on MN for my choices. I'm happy with my choices and have no intention of apologising for them or justifying them, so I don't feel I fit in with a feminist group.

On a thread in this section about a month ago I did ask for information to help me understand feminism a bit better and I basically told to get lost. So in my view I tried, and was rudely responded to and that's not a group I want to be associated with. I will try to find that thread.

Skinit · 18/03/2011 11:19

I thought things wee ok...thought they were equal...till' I had kids. Then I became worriedd about certain things...the media etc and began to learn by lurking here. Then I realised I was a feminist....and I was able to explain things to DH...some of his statements about his own Mother for instance were misogyinistic and I explained why...and he has also had an awakening.

We have 2 DDs. It's something that matters.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/03/2011 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 18/03/2011 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 18/03/2011 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread