I'm a feminist but...

I like to have a kip, while he drives

Ooh, me too, Peter. But then I actually don't enjoy driving in particular, and DH could live in a car if it were possible! Very odd!

I certainly don't defer to him driving because he's a man and 'better at it than me'.

Flamingo - I agree; I think the point is, we don't have tucked away somewhere an authentic 'me' that is ourselves untainted by the patriarchy, we are a bundle of all our influences and we can't separate out what is influenced by sexism and what isn't.

I'm not embarrassed by enjoying sewing...in fact I'm quite proud of the fact I can do it, considering the number of people who can't!

I am embarrassed that I have a culturally conditioned reaction to manly men in films etc. . I do fancy my DH too, though, and he's scared of spiders and has never rescued me from anything in my life!

I always let DH drive too, when we are both in the car

the 'ooooh, how can you do that and still be a feminist?' definitely comes from outside feminism IME. When I was a student I was informed by a bloke once that I shouldn't be reading Viz if I was a feminist. (Like he knew anything about feminism, or gave a shit about it )
In fact re some of the stuff, like crafty hobbies, feminists are even more likely to value it as they see it in a political context as a women's skill that has been devalued in the past because it was done by women.

I am actually finding this thread quite thought-provoking. I don't have the slightest bit of embarrassment over my patchwork and baking, and if anyone told me I shouldn't be doing it I would just laugh. OTOH the "male" stuff I am crap at (probably just driving in my case, I am quite good at DIY) I am probably more embarrassed about than I would be if I wasn't a feminist. Because then I would just be able to go 'Tee hee, it's my poor spatial awareness due to my female brain, lucky me having a big strong dh who can do all that!'

I think the point is, though, that we must recognise that some of the stereotypically female things we like doing, we like because of the patriarchy socialising us into liking them...and some aren't - some we just like and would like despite the patriarchy.

But it's not right to say that all the choices we make are truly, genuinely, made because we would want to do those things if we weren't brought up in a patriarchal society. Yes, a few of us might like to shave our legs...but most of us wouldn't bother, I think. And maybe some men would do it.

Some of us would like sewing...others wouldn't...and more men would.

You can't deny that liking Cath Kidston etc. might just be because of gender stereotyping from birth.

I think I'm a feminist.

I'm a professional, working in a male dominated environment (ortho surgeon), I live in my own place (not at home with parents) despite being single. I choose when I can see DBoyf (and I'll call him D Boyf, DP or even his real name if I want to), and have half the available say in what we do (feminist doesn't equal dictator, after all) I choose if he stays at my place or I go to his (again not entirely unilaterally - we both have a veto!) & control my own fertility until the time is right for me us.

I also sew, knit, bake, embroider, wear pink, watch rom-coms, love Sophie Kinsella and similar authors, glee, Kirstie's homemade home etc.

Because I am able to choose this lifestyle, I can choose to follow my homey hobbies. This is totally different from doing these things because that's all that girls are allowed to do in a society (eg 200yrs ago in uk, other places now). I even made marmalade, chutney and sloe gin for Christmas pressies last year.

For me feminism is about choice and opportunity. It doesn't make sense to close off activities and choices at the same time - it doesn't matter who or what gender an oppressor is, if choice is curtailed, that's what I'm against!

PS I actually can't park and do like shoes, but this has f*ck all to do with my ownership of a uterus

I buy things from Cath Kidston and get manicures and played with dolls when I was little.

I have no problem reconciling this with my feminism, but I totally get this thread, OP!

A (male) colleague today was takig the piss out of me for something and then bizarrely turned it into an assumption that I was one of those woman who enjoy gender stereotyping (ooo I can't park because I am too busy thinking about shoes! etc)

Think he may have been flirting with me. He was vvv surprised when I laughed and told him a few of my anti-gender stereotypig feelings. He then cooed 'Ooo so are you pretending to be one of those femi-nazis'? (again believe he was flirting! How odd!)

A level stare changed the tone of the office

I am a feminist but I squeal whenever I see the mouse that has taken up residence in our house and have to get my DH to catch it (humanely, I hasten to add). I do remove all the spiders in our house though.

And I knit and bake. And wear skirts. And I definitely don't burn my bra (largely because my norks are so bloody big that I need them).

Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive :)

FoofffyShmoofffer I am hoping you get your wish to be a mechanic one day!

I wear make up

I like clothes shopping

I shave my legs and armpits and like to have a suntan

I paint my nails (work pattern allowing)

There are things I like to do in the bedroom that probably don't fit into a feminist pigeonhole

do I care ? not really...

They're just hobbies though aren't they?

Feminists can have hobbies regardless, surely?

See to me this strays towards the whole Boys toys/ girls toys thing. They're just toys.

Same with Girls hobbies/ Boys hobbies. < cringing at how simplistic it sounds>

I cross stitch but if a fairy waved a wand today and asked what I would love to do beyond anything the answer would be a Motor Mechanic. Ever since I was a teenager. I would be damned good at it.

I like making lemon drizzle cake
And choc chip cookies
And jam
And dinner

And I wear make up and heels and wax armpits and legs and dye hair

I am a feminist but I like Cath Kidston. Beat that! Ha!

Hassled have you never come across the stereotypes? You have been lucky :)

I'm a feminist and I'm happily married to someone who thinks I'm dead sexy. I really enjoy having a laugh with male friends. Obviously there's no contradiction in any of the above, but according to the common stereotype there would be.

I hate taking the bins out and relegate it to Mr.R whenever possible .

I wear heels sometimes.

I'm baffled - what do people actually think feminism is? Because in my mind it sure as hell isn't about being ashamed of doing things you enjoy.

I make brownies and read Jane Austen.

SGM - I have been on two courses.

I don't massively enjoy the taste of them but I think they look pretty.