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Original poster

I'm a feminist but...

186 replies

notenoughsocks · 15/03/2011 21:00

I'm a feminist but I like crochet and baking....

I would like to know what you do/like that doesn't, as far as you know, tie in easily with most people's ideas about feminism and feminists. I started thinking about the idea when I kept reading posts that said something along the lines of 'I can't be a feminist because I'm a SAHM but [something very feminst]...'.

As this is my first ever thread (aside from the 'help - is this rash normal? sort) please go easy. Perhaps more towards the light hearted end of the spectrum. Just interested really in stereotypes of feminsts and feminism and ways to combat them.

OP posts:
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sethstarkaddersmackerel · 31/03/2011 13:45

I'm a feminist but I keep having impure thoughts about Robert Carne from South Riding.

Sisters forgive me for I have sinned....

swallowedAfly · 16/03/2011 23:40

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darleneconnor · 16/03/2011 21:11

I'm a feminist but...

I hate my mother

I am a mother and dont WOHM.

I'd never have an abortion.

I'd like some botox.

I can be quite competitive and unsisterly with other women.

FlamingoBingo · 16/03/2011 19:52

Ok, thanks for explaining SAF.

swallowedAfly · 16/03/2011 19:48

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swallowedAfly · 16/03/2011 19:43

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FlamingoBingo · 16/03/2011 18:43

You suspect some posts went over my head, SAF!? Shock

That's a nice thing to say! Yes, you're probably right. Will stop posting on this thread I think, as it's clearly far too intelligent for me to contribute to. Hmm

dittany · 16/03/2011 18:06

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Unrulysun · 16/03/2011 18:05

I mean 'beautiful' by society's v narrow definition there btw :)

Unrulysun · 16/03/2011 17:58

What Tondelayo said :) I wish I could get rid of all those things n my head - ironically it was a bit easier when I was younger because a nineteen year old with short hair and hairy legs is beautiful anyway iyswim?

And I just wrote a looooooooong post about how I don't drive because I hate cars but my stupid I-phone did something with it. So suffice it to say: I can't drive, I don't want to drive, that's not anti-feminist IMHO. :)

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 16/03/2011 17:14

"I'm always saying this but feminism is about defeating the patriarchy. If you can defeat the patriarchy in lippy and high heels please feel free get to it (I believe that there are quite a few feminists who do)."

Amen sister. Smile Wink

I'm aware that my preference for waxing / threading / make-up / high heels / short skirts is because I have internalised the values of the patriarchy / capitalism (sorry if that sounds po-faced) and because I can admit that my self-esteem is such that I don't feel as attractive or confident without them. Knowing that they are tools of anti-feminism doesn't automatically mean that I can reject my dependence on them - what can I say? I'm a deeply flawed human being. But I would definitely never say that because I am a feminist AND do those things doesn't mean that those things are feminist choices.

Is this what people are trying to say? Am I being a bit slow?

swallowedAfly · 16/03/2011 17:05

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swallowedAfly · 16/03/2011 17:04

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Prolesworth · 16/03/2011 16:59

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dittany · 16/03/2011 16:57

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AnnieLobeseder · 16/03/2011 16:57

notenoughsocks - my post certainly wasn't referring to you specifically, and I didn't read your post as saying that feminists can't be feminine! It was just random ramblings about attitudes I've encountered. Smile

dittany · 16/03/2011 16:56

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Original poster
notenoughsocks · 16/03/2011 16:52

Annie. I am not saying (and I hope it never came across like that) that feminists should necessarily reject feminity. It was, sort of, my original point.

I think a lot of the thread has been about what we do and don't do and why.

It was never my intention to suggest, as you put it, "that in order to be good feminists, women shouldn't do 'feminine' things, but should aspire to 'manly' things instead."

In fact, it is precisley that sort of thing that made me think about starting this thread.

OP posts:
AnnieLobeseder · 16/03/2011 16:42

I'll have to disagree with you there, FB. I see lots of discussions on baking, facial hair, bikini lines and driving skills, but only one post even vaguely like mine, which is WoTmania's post of 13:11:59.

So I'll right back at you. Why the need to be insulting anyway?

FlamingoBingo · 16/03/2011 16:27

Why is everyone coming on here and saying that this thread is suggesting that to be a feminist you have to reject femininity? Confused

Annie - your question has already been asked, and answered, a few times on this thread.

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 16/03/2011 16:24

the problem is not feminity Annie, the problem is compulsory femininity.

when a woman can walk across a beach with visible body hair and not get any more nasty looks than a man who does the same, then feminism won't need to care about it any more.

MrsFizzyWig - no, Emmeline Pankhurst won't have worried about shaving her legs because women didn't shave their legs in those days.
As great legal and political victories for women were won, the patriarchy fought back by worsening the pressures on women to look good. Women in Pankhurst's day also didn't wear such high heels or have cosmetic surgery. They did wear corsets and that was seen as a feminist issue too.

snowmama · 16/03/2011 16:20

all posts above make perfect sense....and now I need to have a ponder before I respond more fully..

AnnieLobeseder · 16/03/2011 16:19

I have to say I'm constantly baffled by the notion that in order to be good feminists, women shouldn't do 'feminine' things, but should aspire to 'manly' things instead.

How on earth is it promoting equality for women for us to strive to be more like men? The point should be to make sure everyone values hobbies/interests traditionally seen as womanly, as much as those traditionally seen as manly. To the point where it's not seen as 'unmanly' for a man to want to bake cupcakes or wear makeup. We need to promote feminine things, surely, so that they are not longer seen as inferior to masculine things?

dittany · 16/03/2011 16:16

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dittany · 16/03/2011 16:13

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