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Original poster

Milk - am I wrong to find this phrase really horrible?

70 replies

Janos · 06/03/2011 11:34

A male friend used this phrase to describe someone and I pulled them up on it.

They seem to think it's harmless, is in fact a compliment and I'm completely overreacting but I really, really don't like it - in fact I

think its a really horrible way to refer to women.

Apparently this makes me over-sensitive and easily offended! I don't think I am...am I?

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 13:29

It's kind of a synonym for MILF - as in the Courtney Cox series "Cougar Town"

A sexually voracious older woman who preys on (ha ha) younger men.

Are there male equivalents to MILF / Cougar? No that's just a man isn't it...

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 13:28

Tell you what else riles me, the comment was made on fb (bloody fb eh).

One of his other friends (female) was tee-heeing over it, like what a hilarious joke. It makes me so mad when I see women colluding in this sort of thing.

If I can think of a metaphor..it's like someone stamping on your foot and then insisting YOU apologise to THEM. And not only do apologise to them you THANK them for doing it.

OP posts:
claig · 06/03/2011 13:27

yes I hate cougar too

StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 13:25

what's that
(apart from the obvious)

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 13:24

Can I just say at this point - I'm really glad to see it's not just me.

But then I didn't really think it was.

While we're on the subject, I really bloody hate 'cougar' as well.

OP posts:
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 13:18

"That wasn't my point Tondelay. What I said was that motherhood placed women off limits to this kind of sexual abuse. Being included on the fuckability scale is abusive to women, not a compliment and it's not about our sexuality either, it's about men's."

Not disputing that - I agree with you.

dittany · 06/03/2011 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 13:11

I do think its degrading dittany.

To me it feels creepy, sleazy, nasty. Not a compliment.

If you find older women attractive why not just say so? You don't have to use this horrible term.

OP posts:
claig · 06/03/2011 13:11

No, it is not used as a ridiculous term but as a matter of fact term.

MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 13:09

Oh no, it's like building an impossible dam.

IngridBergmann · 06/03/2011 13:09

I would have thought a comedian would use it only as a ridiculous piece of teen terminology, a bit like 'gay' etc etc. ie taking the piss.

Not actually seriously?

claig · 06/03/2011 13:08

I think everybody now uses it. A married builder leering out if a passing van would now shout MILF at another woman. It has become so prevalent that even trendy liberal comedians like Jon Stewart on the Daily Show use the term. Soon Homer Simpson will use the term and it will be common in the playground.

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 13:07

Wow, there's a lot to think about here - feels a bit like opening a can of worms.

OP posts:
IngridBergmann · 06/03/2011 13:06

I'm appalled that grown men use this acronym.

MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 13:05

It is a teen phrase isn't it? So married men with children wouldn't use it.

It's from that movie American Pie.

dittany · 06/03/2011 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claig · 06/03/2011 13:03

'Mothers used to be off limits to this kind of stuff too. Having children offered a certain entitlement to respect. Now every woman is back in one big fuckability/unfuckability pool.'

I think dittany is right about this. But I don't think it is because men thought that mothers were unsexy. I think they were off limits because they were married to other men and had children. Now any man feels he has the right to fuck any woman, including another man's wife.

dittany · 06/03/2011 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IngridBergmann · 06/03/2011 13:01

I've not really thought about it that much, but to me it sounds like a sort of Mrs Robinson thing, whispered by teenage boys between themselves.

ie most mothers of teenage boys are regarded as in a different world from the girls they usually fancy, but the occasional one might for some reason seem appealing - perhaps because she tries to be appealing to teenage boys, perhaps through no intention of her own - and so they accredit her this grand accolade of being 'someones mum' - yuk! - who is nevertheless still attractive enough for them to fantasise about.

I didn't realise it was a porn term. I always considered it a teenage word, and therefore worthy of a patronising 'ah, how sweet, now fuck off' Smile

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 12:59

There is that aspect of it too which I hadn't thought of - mums not being 'sexy'. It's bloody ridiculous. If it was true the world would be full of only-child families.

OP posts:
MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 12:58

I mean facebook for that last post...

StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2011 12:57

Thank goodness - was starting to worry that I sounded as though I was in the "it's a compliment really" camp :o

MarshaBrady · 06/03/2011 12:57

I think it may be worse too. Something about being aware of being a 'package' argh. That x-factor stuff. Being aware of looking sexually attractive. Possibly linked to actually seeing images of oneself on the internet a lot.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/03/2011 12:54

Yes, you did Stealth - I was thinking that Dittany's point about motherhood placing you off limits sexually is just another extension of misogyny - the angel / whore stereotype.

Original poster
Janos · 06/03/2011 12:53

I think it is worse MarshaBrady.

I'm in my mid 30s and when I was a teen porn wasn't everywhere (it did exist of course just a lot harder to get hold of). The attitudes were still there of course.

Nowadays it's easily accessible and there is some really nasty stuff out there too :(

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