can i be a feminist and a sahm?

Yes.

Feminism is a set of beliefs and values, whether your a SAHM, a WOHM or not a mum is irrelvant because it doesn't stop you holding your views.

However you will come across alot of people (manly men) who will tell you that you're not a feminist because you are "living off your husband" as society does not value raising children. I speak from experience as I was told by an ex-friend that "i'm happy to let there husband pay for almost everything but yet its all about feminest(sic) rubbish" even though I work p/t and i'm a full time student.

YES :)

oops don't know what happened with the crazy italics!

Me too.

IMO it's important that SAHMs do their bit to campaign/raise awareness (where possible) of the essential work of child-rearing.

The fact that it doesn't have an economic price on it doesn't make it any less fundamental a job in society.

Yes of course. Feminism is multi faceted and every feminist isn't going to follow the same pattern of belief.

Personally, one of my big bug bears about inequality for women is how is it presumed we will be the ones to stay at home while men work. This is backed up by the government with their rules on SMP (although about to change) as well as in the workplace and through society in general. because I feel so incredibly passionate about changing that perception I do feel I am doing a better job of fighting it by working rather than staying at home. Once things have changed I may feel like I could stay at home without being part of the problem as really we should be able to amke that choice. But right now I don't feel I could.

But as i say, there are many many different ideas within feminism and as long as the basic belief is there i dont think you have to make every choice in your life for the greater good of equal women's rights to be able to call yourself a feminist.

I am.

yes.
Being obliged to not raise your own children has got nothing to do with feminism.

I am a SAHM. I do think a lot about the economic dependancy part of it, which is obviously a feminist problem and is one reason why some people are misled into thinking a SAHM can't be a feminist.
This confusion comes about because feminism has been hijacked by capitalism and some misguided people believe that feminism is all about making money. Just like it was hijacked by liberalist lefty men in the sixties who helped women fight for abortion rights because they wanted sex on tap. Everyone then thought feminism was all about abortion then, but it wasn't.

It's a very complex debate, but I liked how dittany put it: "It's not women wanting to be with their children that's the problem, it's men dominating women that's the problem"

I think the basic structure of society has to change.

Yes.

Why would you think otherwise?

yep

yes.
i am. (well, on and off. always a feminist, sometimes a sahm.)