An 'interesting' conversation with my MIL about rape

So sorry you had to deal with that, Boo. At least you know that there are people like us on here who would have stood alongside you instead of piss-taking.

OP, it's people like your MIL who, when they are on juries, acquit rapists. That's the terrifying thing. I understand why people like her do it - it makes them feel safer. But it's just so wrong. How hard is it to understand that men need to make sure that the woman wants them to put their cock in them before they do so? And that the men who don't need to explain when they are on the stand, clearly and believably, why they thought that she did want them to?

it really is. i knew those attitudes existed but i was really shocked and moreso disappointed that when it was happening right infront of people they still chose to accept it, as if it is par for the course if you are a woman, you should expect to have to tolerate this stuff. and i agree with you, guys like that are banking on you/ your friends not reacting. that is how they work.

Boo the reason he took it as a green light, is because he knew that the reaction of your friends would be that you were mad to defend yourself, not that he was out of order.

It really is an uphill battle isn't it?

it was awful and i was so angry with my 'friends' (4 women and one man). they even went home and took the piss out of my reaction on FB. i told them all that i hadn't over reacted at all, they had under reacted. it was interesting talking to EXp about it afterwards, he got angry and said if it had happened while he was there he would have punched the guy, and i know now that no-one would have told him he had over reacted. a man is allowed to protect his possesion but a women isn't allowed to protect herself.

that it finer. i know that with the best intentions, my mum would have placed the blame for it squarely on me. i was sober, with a group of friends at the bar in a well lit part of the club, i hadn't even been talking to this man, he just appeared out of nowhere. i asked him repeatedly to move away from me and leave me alone, not to touch me. he continued and after about the 5th warning with him ignoring, i screamed at him and caused a scene hoping to embarass him into disappearing. they must be breeding some new, more resilient type of weirdo though because he seemed to take this as a green light and came back for me. i screamed again and my 'friends' told me i was over reacting . i did everything i could have done to stop him but it still happened and i was the one being told to adjust my behaviour.

When ever someone is droning on about men who are falsely accused of rape I always tell them that a man is far more likely to be raped by another man than he is to be falsely accused of rape by a woman. It normally shuts them up pretty quick.

i was assaulted at xmas in a club, i was driving so wasn't drinking. i was with a group of friends and it happened right there infront of them, the same guy had treid it with them too but i didn't tell my parents about it. why? because i knew the first thing out of my mum's mouth would have been "you see, you need to be more careful"

Dp came out with this little gem.
I nearly smacked him into next week.

By calling them out when you hear them, just like you did

I had this conversation at a garden party last year with a group of women aged between 21 and 37.

EVERYONE agreed that 'some girls' are asking for it when they A, get too drunk, B, wear suggestive clothes, or C, get to a certain point with aman and then say no.

These are fairly middle class (maybe working/middle class) women most of which have been to university.

I was astonished.