High Heels WTF is it about

I don't worry about my age (not saying anyone else on here is to excess, btw)

I don't fancy the alternative, you see

Look, my issue was with this bit of your sentence: " I think you need to". Simply because, it is that attitude of people thinking other people need to do things that makes it hard for people to be 'different'. If you meant 'I find I need to', then that's a different matter.

Oblomov - we are obviously very different people. I am sure you are gorgeous. Just look in the mirror and think "Wow! That's ME! Aren't I amazing?!"

Anyway, just to clarify - my comments reflect my own experience, I do not intend to imply anything negative about anyone else.

Actually, come to think of it, I spent most of my 20s (from about 23 on) gaining in confidence. It was my younger self that wanted to fit in, I think from puberty up until that point. I too feel fine about my age. There's no point worrying about it, I think. Besides, as you say, I am indeed gorgeous!

Bingo, becasue when you are 20, and wake up and go to 4 hours of lectures, after drinking all night , its not a problem.
When you are nearly 40, you have more shallow colured skin, etc etc ....
I give a little, (and I mean a little) more thought to my clothes and haircut than I used to. I want to feel nice. attractive. but in a very very discrret way.
I think you just need to pay more attention to these things as you get older.
I still get ready to go to work , including blow drying hair, brushing teeth and makeup in about 14 minutes though. So its not like I'm paining at this for hours and re-applying mascara at every turn !!

I think I amke the same effort I always did.It is about fashion for me anyway.definitely don't feel more feminine in them.Feeling feminine isn't about clothes and heels and make up.i often wear old jeans and t shirts and plimsolls and still feel good.

"Now I am older, I am more confident and don't feel the need to fit in and worry about my appearance as I did when I was younger. "
That was Alex's refernce to me saying about making more effort now I'm in my late 30's.

But the difference is that:
a) she is gorgeous.
Plus, I was happy in my 20's and didn't try and fit in or feel more comfident.
I was confident in my 20's and am equally so in my 30's.
I am nearer 40 now than 30 and feel just fine about that.

Prolesworth - it's also, I think, about criticising a culture that makes women so worried about their natural looks, that they feel they have to hide behind a mask. Of course I'm not talking about most make-up wearers (a bit of mascara and lippy) but those who really do plaster it on.

Oblomov - sorry, I couldn't think of another way to explain why one would have to start making more of an effort once in one's thirties Why do you think that, then, if not because people are getting older?

And not a problem at all if you want to do that - the problem is when other people think you ought to and you do it to please them.

Bingo, you took thta one comment out of context. when read in amongst everything else I wrote in my post. One swipe of brown eyeshadow. I mean come on, give me a break here !!

Unlike Alex, I am not gorgeous. I scrub up well though. When I take a bit more time to blow dry my hair, put on a splash of make up, put on some black high heeled boots with a black knee length skirt and go to work, I feel nice.

Is that a problem ?

I wear them because I like them and some clothes I have require them.It is nothing to do with feminist ideology My dp is not interested either way.I just love them.i also wear trainers and flat boots etc .And sometime slots of make up sometimes none.

Bingo, who said anything about ageing. I like being as as old as I am. comfortable in my own skin, thanks very much. And do not have a problem with ageing.
I like it when women look smart. wear a dress. have a new haircut. I compliment women who do.
I think many women look better with a tiny bit of makeup. One of my school freinds looks better without. But then she is probbaly the most naturally beautiful woman I have ever seen. Come the revolution she has to die !! We told her this and she laughed. Took it in the nice sense it was meant. Thats becasue she is beautiful in every sense of the word.

Plus all these references to heels are implying they are uncomfortable. Not everyone finds them uncomfortable, you know. I never wear uncomfortable shoes. Never have, never will.
!We are constantly paining opurselves, just to wear those shoes that we think men want us to.' Rubbish. I wear them becasue they are comfy and I feel nice.

< hugs AF back >

I'm 24 so maybe I dont need make up thanks to my teenage so greasy that make up slides off youthful skin

If we're talking about gorgeousness, then sorry to disappoint you all, but you all pale into insignificance next to me. So ner!

I don't like wearing heels much. Funnily though I never had much of an opinion on it until an ex-partner (DP at the time, obv) kept going on and on about me wearing them, how I should and making scornful remarks about other shoes. It just made me think "No, why should I wear them, just because someone else wants me to?"

I have a few pairs of shoes with heels but only smallish heels. My boyfriend is the same height as me anyway and it just feels odd to suddenly be taller than him. I also struggle to find nice, smart, non-heeled shoes, though I have a few pairs now which is probably enough for me :)

currently lusting after a pair of these though

< hugs belle >

< squidges her not that curvy curves >

AF - you are, without doubt, bloody gorgeous. And stylish. I love your style but you have to be willowy to carry it off (unlike curvy me).

Flamingo - don't ruin my illusions!

belle, yes you are

< waits patiently for reciprocal comment >

< realises that is needy >

Can't be as gorgeous as me, BelleDame!

Actually, I'm with alex on the effort front. I'm 45 and make very little "effort" unless I feel like it. I am gorgeous though

Well, I am in my 30s, and if anything, I make even less effort than I did before, and to be frank, I am much happier for it. It's all to do with self esteem and confidence, I think. Now I am older, I am more confident and don't feel the need to fit in and worry about my appearance as I did when I was younger. So I do as I please.

This is nothing to do with feeling superior, just secure within myself.

I hate wearing high heels and at just under 5'2 I really should, considering as DH is a foot taller than me. But, I just can't be doing with them.
I was lookin at my wedding photos (1987) yesterday and noticed that all my family and friends had flats or court heels on, including me.

Oblomov: "In your 30's I think you need to make a bit more effort than maybe you did before."

Yes, obviously we don't want anyone to see us aging, do we? That would be awful! Fancy anyone thinking we were human beings!

Sorry, but it really grates me that people think that anyone should have to change themselves in any way, shape or form, just to conform to some social idea. As long as you're happy, and not hurting anyone, then do you really think it matters so much how much effort people put into their appearance!?

WM: "as always there are those females who feel they are superior to me because they don't either wear heels or make up"

Who said that? I don't feel superior to people who wear make up. I often wonder if I am more self-confident and have higher self-esteem than women who plaster themselves with make up and can't be seen without it, but that doesn't make me superior to them.