High Heels WTF is it about

FiammiFreeway, I am 5'7" too and feel exactly the same - started when a man started working for me and he was only 5'2". i felt I intimidated him.

He was shite at his job though...had to sack him in the end.

They make me too tall. And they make my feet hurt. But they look so nice.

Also it is annnoying as trousers all have to be different lengths to go with shoes.

I think lots of make up is ageing esp. blusher - looks like people are trying to cover their smokers' cheek wrinkles.

but women's feet have always been a patriarchal fetish, and that's where this comes from. CHinese footbinding was all about making sure women couldn't stride like men and emasculate them.
I was a bit reading in Beauty and Misogyny that ballet shoes are part of this sado-masochistic fetish- sad because as I was reading it I knew it was true, and DD goes to ballet. She's 4 so not on points, obviously, but the bunions and damage done to ballerina's feet is really a gender specific issue. THey spin and spin on a block of wood fitted into a satin shoe tied with ribbon Very often there's blood on the stage at the end of the nigh. Ballroom dancing is another. Men never have to squeeze and squash their feet like women are expected to.

ok, I will budge on very best friend

but not work colleagues

or best friend!

Take my advice, David

never compliment a woman on wearing heels, unless she is your partner

We do get on well but I think I'll give it a miss. If in doubt...

David, it depends on what sort of terms you are already.

If it were me and it were a female colleague, I would not say anything unless we were good friends already. I would suggest similar to you - if you are good friends and she won't take it as strange or a come-on, then of course.

But if not, best left unsaid.

By the way Petalouda what are 'keep-ons'? I thought they were socks for babies, that's a strange fetish

A colleague is wearing a pair today, possibly connected with her getting a promotion. Very elegant looking, but I was wondering whether it's OK to compliment her (on the heels not the promotion)?

Yes I suppose the environments in which I found myself have been different. It was much better to look good than it was to look unnatural.

So it was much more acceptable to wear fashionable but more comfortable things than a suit and heels.

Now I am delighted to find that nearly every woman at ds's school is quite 'into' a particular style, but not at the expense of a career or anything else. I saw a woman on a red bike today with a great flowing poncho and wool hat. She looked great, really brightened my day. Women who wear whatever they wish, and look good.

I bet if I were surrounded by the obligatory heels / makeup or suits I would feel constrained and annoyed.

I do like being the tallest (female) in the room however!

So I have never felt it was expected of me to wear heels or makeup.

Actually I have a pair of beat up boots (originally very nice) that have a small cone heel. Small! But a heel. And some builders felt they should point out the sexiness of my boots as I walked past. Now that annoyed me. The lack of freedom to wear what I wish, it annoyed me more than feeling expected to wear any one thing.

Something just occurred to me; at 5ft7, I actually noticed recently that I feel uncomfortable talking with shorter people.

It feels as though I ought to shrink down to their level, so as not to appear patronising, threatening or too powerful.

Especially when they are confiding things in me and I want to appear sympathetic.

It's very strange. Not sure how this fits with the high heels thing but it struck me as interesting.

I'm 5'10" and have never worn heels because I find them very uncomfortable (actually that's not totally true as I have two pairs of boots with heels which I bought to appeal to dh who had a bit of a 70s thing going on, but wear once in a blue moon). I find shoe shopping very difficult because most shoes for sale do have heels - the choice for work shoes is very limited. If I could wear court type shoes I'd be OK, but they are also very bad for your feet, and as I have high arches just incredibly painful (the problem is that you have to scrunch up your toes to keep them on).

My experience is that at work or for functions I am very unusual, and I do get comments. I don't really care what other people wear on their feet unless I'm walking somewhere with them and they are either walking very slowly or complaining about the pavement.

I do find it very odd that heels are seen as professional. I can see that wearing trainers or walking boots (my non work choices) would not be the right look but why heels should be considered more professional than flats is beyond me.

I take care of my appearance approaching 40 no more or less than I did in my 20s. I aim to wear clothes that suit me and that I feel good in and I've never worn make up. I'm really not bothered that I look older, after all I am older (and therefore more experienced, wiser - isn't that a plus?)

I don't judge women who do both, or men that do neither, but then I'm not very appearance orientated.

after dark ...

is it a north/south thing? plenty of heels here - not in the village but lots in the small town/even more in the city, and they get even higher after dark....

My sis drives me mad wearing heels when we're out shopping, we have to finish early 'cos her feet hurt. And mum can't wear flats ever, she has heeled slippers, because the calf muscle has shortened and frozen. I'm much taller than them both and enjoy wearing comfy shoes thankyouverymuch!

I see women in ridiculous heels all the time. Teetering about the office, in the supermarket, in ikea, in the trafford centre. Actually in ikea it was a heavily pregnant woman in 6 inch heels. It made me cringe every time I saw her. I can't understand women who wear heels when they will be walking some distance. On a night out/to a party fine but shopping?? I know one person who I have only seen in flats once and she was doing the race for life at the time. As I have already admitted I do love heels but there's no need for them in some situations.

Nope. Not at school, university, central London creative-ish industry, now school run and life. There is one woman I actively notice in the supermarket as she is clipping around in high heels. Everyday nope.

At night, at a party, more likely.

I was properly stunned by the height of the young 'uns heels in the pub last night. They are like stripper shoes. And they don't know how to walk in them (not being models etc) so they wobble. And then they do shots and fall off them, and their carefully bird-nested hair gets all vomity. Oh, and if they are really lucky, their boyfriend will hit them in the face and his friends will big him up, and the police will ignore this.

tangent, but got very cross last night.

It's funny that you don't see women wearing heels. My mum and sister both wear very high heels every day. My mum's feet are in ruins because of it. As far as I was concerned, all women my mum's age wore high heels and a lot of my friends too, all of them when going out in the evening. All females in the public eye wear heels from celebrity chefs to politicians, neverminding pop 'stars' and actors.

I'm kind of used to that mentality, though, dittany, being a breastfeeding counsellor. YOu have a go at the formula manufacturers' unethical practices and suddenly everyone's jumping on your for apparentlyt elling them they're wrong for formula feeding! Pissing annoying, I can tell you!

I hardly ever see women trotting around in huge stilettos. Baggy old ballet slippers and crappy uggs yes.