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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

New(ish) to feminism and want to pack it in already

60 replies

AnnieLobeseder · 01/02/2011 22:26

So while I've always been very much in favour of equal rights, am well educated, work full time, share all childcare and domestic drudgery with DH etc etc, it's only in the last few months, thanks to MN, that I've become more serious about feminism.

I just always had the view that Western women had it pretty good compared to a lot of people out there, laws always seemed to be changing for the better and there wasn't much need to worry about it.

Some feminist thread here convinced me that there is a need for more serious feminist action; even though things are better than ever for women and continue to get better still, there is a long way to go.

BUT - a not insubstantial part of me wishes I'd never had that awakening! Stuff on TV and around me that has never bothered me before is now annoying the hell out of me, which is an unwelcome new source of stress.

And then threads like this one last week, about how women should go back to the kitchen, and this one today, about how we should all be grateful Mrs Wife.

So I have to wonder, how will the cause of women ever progress when even women are so dead set against feminism? Women seem to like being oppressed, and dislike and ridicule feminists for trying to make life better for them.

How do the rest of you cope with these things?!

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mrsjoyfulprize · 01/02/2011 22:55

Well that's an intelligent, well-reasoned response. Congratulations, you're the new Germaine Greer.

If you're going to continually get sour about the fact that not every woman chooses to live the same way as you then yes you're going to waste a lot of energy for no discernible return. Instead of whining about people taking their husband's names why don't you get het up about something important like domestic violence, rape conviction rates and the appalling treatment of women in other countries?

AnnieLobeseder · 01/02/2011 22:50

Sigh.....

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mrsjoyfulprize · 01/02/2011 22:49

I don't really know why you're annoyed about the 'proud to be a wife' thread. Surely it's a perfectly alright thing to be proud of your relationship, which will hopefully give you a lot of happiness in my life. I am happy to have my husband's name as I chose him, I didn't choose my dad.

And if you are married, then yes he is your husband not your partner. If someone chooses to be called Mrs X then it is only polite to address them as such, the same as if they choose to be Ms Y. I really don't see the point of getting your knickers in a twist over that.

AnnieLobeseder · 01/02/2011 22:48

Jess - Hah! I have enough trouble finding friends who don't feel as passionately about feminism!! [Billy-no-mates emoticon]

I'm just so very grateful to work in an industry where it's very much 50:50. Well, until senior management but that's a generational thing and I can't see it lasting - there are just too many talented women coming up the ladder. I guess I should take my comfort there....

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BelleDameSansMerci · 01/02/2011 22:44

I don't live my life angrily. I see things that make me angry and I respond by pointing out (calmly) why I think things are wrong or unfair.

JessinAvalon · 01/02/2011 22:42

I know what you mean, Annie. However, I get a lot of strength and motivation from the feminists around me. We also have a laugh about some of these things too. When I was called a "rabid hag" by the commenters in the local press last year for objecting to Hooters, my friends & I all had a big laugh about the unoriginality of the insults.

My suggestion would be to try and get some friends who feel as passionately as you do and then you'll be able to share your feelings with them and you won't feel that things are so hopeless.

I was at an event last year at which there were many young feminists. It's really heartening to see so many young women wanting to push the feminist agenda forward now. Things like that help!

Rhadegunde · 01/02/2011 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 01/02/2011 22:36

Now see, you both talk of staying angry, of seething and ranting. That's not how I want to live!

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Rhadegunde · 01/02/2011 22:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BelleDameSansMerci · 01/02/2011 22:31

I seethe and rant. I point out where I think things are wrong at work and home.

Sometimes, though, I can't be bothered as with the "Happy Mrs Wife" thread. I find it incredible that anyone has to define their identity through their relationship status, quite frankly.

I suppose I choose my battles.