Feminism and SAHM

Oh, and in fact, that self employed thing raises a good (feminist) point: you are a feminist SAHP IMO if you are self employed. If, however, you are "employed" by your partner, then you are not self employed and I'm not sure that you are living a feminist SAHP lifestyle.

What I mean is that if the parent at home is given tasks, chores and responsibilities by the parent working, then he/she is not getting the choice and control that I would expect in a feminist relationship. I have a friend whose DW does not work and he cannot understand why she (and I) object to him giving her a list of chores before he leaves for work in the morning.

marantha - you're saying it's not feminist because lots of non-feminists wouldn't recognise it as such. That is true, but doesn't mean it isn't feminist.

if feminist ideals were only the ones recognised as such by non-feminists, we'd never make any progress.

Trillin is right - you are self employed as a SAHM.

Self-employed.

I do not think being a sahm is a negative thing at all, but I've a gut feeling that it is not a feminist thing to do, I cannot expand upon this at the moment and would like to hear views that support this viewpoint as everyone here is basically agreeing with one another and I am the sole 'naysayer' here- or at least the only one who is saying that they've doubts on a gut level.

But if sahm-ing is work, then who is the employer?

I agree with Flammers.

SAHMing is work and should be recognised and valued as such.

Oh you guys with your formatting! :)

So I am a WOHM and DP is a SAHD, sounds feminist, but I didn't really have a choice from an economic point of view. So I'm not comfortable with the "feminism gives you choice" perspective.

My family unit had the option to have a female breadwinner, which in some societies it wouldn't have, but as an individual I didn't really have a choice. (Not that I would have chosen differently, and neither would my DP.)

"Choice" between WOH and SAH IMO is an economic issue.

Yes. I think it's an example of a feminist choice to stay at home rather than to do some shit job just for the sake of it.

It would be good if more SAMH's engaged with feminism so that there were people with more time to dedicate to activism etc.

I certainly had less time for feminist activities when I was working.

It's anti-feminist propaganda that feminism and being a SAMH are somehow opposed.

so jumping Jehovah does it work for strike out too

oh my giddy aunt when i think of how i used to avoid bold, strike out and italics because of the faff

im loving this lark.big time

And now look what I've started!? this is meant to be a serious thread!

hahahahaha how much easier is that!?

I wonder if it works with italicising too?

and striking out

cycling crist,when i think i used to use the occasional wee BOLD bit as i couldnt be arsed doing all the footery asteriks. hell now i will be bold all over the place.gratuitous and frequent bold dis and dat

oh what a novelty

really,one could go awn and awn aw roond the hooses and back again with the bold thang

it works!

it were all fields round ere when I were a lass

in ye olde days when people said we done that already,search the archives,mn going to the dogs,i'll get the popcorn

you had to use befeore and after * every word

omg you are right -and it works

Seconds, you only * before first and after last word nowadays

As an aside, how long did it take you to bold those two long sentences!?

Well Flamingo if you have read more than one post written by me you would be totally reassured that I would definitely not have! and as I sometimes struggle to understand my own posts due to typos + bad spelling + poor grammar.

yes can be feminist and sahm.its attitudinal set beliefs/values.if someone chose sahm after weighing up pro/cons and their circumstances fair enough.we all do what we have to,what we individually think is right

but sahm isnt a job and shouldnt attract a wage.we are all mums we all nurture and love our children irrespective of whether work or sahp

OP the answer is in your question 'by choice'.

I expect you'd have typed it better, though, gorionine!

'We are interdependent, not dependent'

brilliantly put

Feminism does not, IMO, mean living like men have lived/are living. It means having your work, whether taht's paid or unpaid, based int he home or out of the home, being as valued as men's work.

That is beautifully said FlamingoBingo I actually wish I had said it!

Oe of the central tenets of feminism is the notion that bringing up children and working inside the home should be recognised as work and paid accordingly.

So there should be no question of a husband 'paying your way'.

"Yes, but the type of people who like to mock feminism will make very sarcastic comments about sahms who argue that they are feminists."

Well they can fuck off then!

DH and I contribute equally, but differently, to our household. Money is not the only thing in the world worth having, and paid work is not hte only thing in the world worth doing.

I want to be a SAHP, so does DH. It makes more sense for him to be the earner because I am breastfeeding and he likes his paid work, and I didn't. But I contribute just as much as he does. The point is that he values my contribution just as much as his own - just because it doesn't involve money, doesn't make it any less important.

We are interdependent, not dependent. We are a team and have divided up roles according to what makes the most sense.

And I have to say it really pisses me off to hear that anyone thinks that if you choose to be a SAHM and contribute to your household that way, that you are 'letting the side down' or whatever.

Feminism does not, IMO, mean living like men have lived/are living. It means having your work, whether taht's paid or unpaid, based int he home or out of the home, being as valued as men's work.