So what do we think about these parental leave proposals?

I realise I'm taking my life in my hands by posting in Feminism but here goes...

Firstly; mollymole I run a small business and employ both men and women and part of correctly managing a business is ensuring you have processes in place for managing staff absence - whether though ill health or maternity leave or anything else. It can be challenging, but shared parental leave will make less enlightened employers less likely to discriminate against women of child-bearing age if men are also likely to take similar length leave.

But I do have a genuine concern; when my DW and I were thinking about children I assumed we would be able to share childcare equally (somewhat naive, I know). However, in practice our DS needed 10-14 feeds per day until 6 months (and a little beyond) and with him being exclusively breastfed I simply could not have done this. I now have him 1 day per week and my wife works 3 days per week (he's in nursery 2 days per week).

Are expressing/ff the only options or am I missing something?

but shared parental leave is no different from maternity leave in that respect.
(Except that there will be less point in illegally discriminating against women when hiring on the grounds that they might take mat leave.)

what about the small business with only 2 or 3 staff - how are they supposed to keep going with maybe 50% less staff - there are 2 sides to consider

But sadly, you and I are not representative of society as a whole

I do forget this. It seems such a straightforward situation it's frustrating and I forget that others don't see it the same way. How could they not? :(

I hope your boss isn't representative of men as a whole either. I have heard of SAHDs and men sharing the workload to a point so parental leave would hopefully begin a gradual change to the norm as it is.

I don't think they need to be doing anything to 'encourage' men to take parental leave, don't think that't the government's business really. But absolutely agree that the leave should be shared and/or available to either parent, the current inequality is a disgrace and bad for both women's careers and men's family life.

Msrisotto - I agree with you. But sadly, you and I are not representative of society as a whole.

It's endlessly frustrating to me that the changes required go deeper than just changing legislation but also attitudes of companies and employees.

Let me give you an example. During Christmas and New Year, there were a few of us working to keep office ticking over. It was deadly quiet. My boss (a man) suggested I feel free to leave early. I thanked him, but as I had a doctor's appointment, told him there wasn't any point and suggested he therefore feel free to go home to his wife and child and I would cover the office. He said, "it's actually more relaxing at the office so I think I will stay."

Clearly, this is not a man who is going to want to take up paternity leave. And I'd consider him a pretty forward thinking, modern guy relatively speaking...!

Yes anastasia you're right. It's childcare and it's about time men shared the burden.

I sort of hope men do find it detrimental, not because I want them to suffer just because women have - but because it will provide evidence that puts to rest this idea that the only reason women don't get ahead is because they choose not to and that's an end to it :(

if I had gone back to work after dc3 it would have been useful for us to have had dh at home full time during my first couple of months back: I could have focused 100% on work without having to worry about home, having to take time off for sick kids etc.

and given how much time I'd taken off over the course of 3 dcs and difficult pregnancies he could have put up with a couple of months away from work IMO.

Bling - as far as i'm concerned, being mother is currently more detrimental to women for longer than for men with some paternity leave. It's a double edged sword in a way in that now both men and women can fuck up their careers (obviously a bit extreme in my phraseology there but you get what i mean) but short term lose, long term gain and hopefully companies will realise that having children is a way of life and will learn to work around it.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-12204079

well it's a start right? It's the beginning at least. I am optimistic, if it ends up as good as it sounds then it is a vital first step.

The shared parental leave? I'm all for it. But DH, who is doing a job he does not enjoy at a very low level, thinks that even if he asked to take it there would be a huge impact for him. And he's not a high flyer etc. Which I think is ridiculous but I think proves that there's a huge societal change needed before this is doable.

On the other comments Nick C was making, I am not sure that helping parents make friends should really be government's objective!

Can't see all that many men going for it personally.