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Original poster

Eloquent MNers - can you help me articulate the problem with my manager's attitude?

46 replies

BerylStreep · 11/01/2011 20:06

I have been having some issues in work lately. There are other threads about it, but basically I work PT in a male dominated environment. It is a very macho culture.

My employers are placing me under enormous pressure to increase my hours. I have recently had surgery on my shoulder, and have said I am not physically able to increase my hours because of the constant pain and fatigue I experience.

Every time I have had a meeting with my manager about this, he trots out the same old lines, and they really, really annoy me, but I can't exactly articulate what it is I object to.

For instance:
'We have been more than flexible with you to date.'
'We allowed you to commence flexible working 2 years ago.'
'I allowed you to work at the weekend (twice, a year & half ago) so I have been more than flexible.'
'We have been very helpful and supportive over the years.'
The language is very much 'I allowed you to do', whereas in fact, work is a contractual arrangement.

It is almost as if I am supposed to be grateful for being allowed to work pt, and as a result, his current overbearing behaviour (which is most probably discrimination under DDA as well) can be justified. The only word I can think of is paternalistic, and it almost has the tone of an exasperated parent, but I am hoping some of you can help me put my finger on it a bit better.

I have countered these endless pious comments with highlighting that I have also been flexible (willing to change working days, working extra unpaid hours to deliver on deadlines etc), but the attitude still really annoys me.

Can you help me collate my thoughts and define this a bit better?

OP posts:
AliceWorld · 03/02/2011 08:18

Yes there are a tiny number of organisations that aren't allowed unions for political security reasons but other than that your workplace might not recognise the union (eg don't meet with them for for pay negotiations) but you still have a legal right to join one. And receive their help and advice.

dittany · 01/02/2011 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BerylStreep · 01/02/2011 02:11

threefeet - in my area of work we are not allowed unions. We have a staff association, which is a sort of approximation, and which I am a member of.

I have spoken to my staff association rep, and he is going to try to arrange some legal advice.

OP posts:
threefeethighandrising · 01/02/2011 01:45

BerylStreep are you a member of a union? If not I reckon you should join one sharpish!

Original poster
BerylStreep · 01/02/2011 01:31

I received the response from my line manager today, full of self-justification, and claiming there was no intent to bully. In his e-mail he has said that he now requires me to notify him in advance of any meeting I attend. This is pure madness!

I spoke with our equality & diversity manager today. She was very supportive, and is encouraging me to make a formal complaint of bullying and harassment against him.

I know these things can be all-consuming, so I would really prefer not to - I just don't have the emotional energy to get embroiled in a row, especially knowing that it could become really nasty.

Instead, (or possibly as a first step) she is going to have a 'quiet word' with my manager's boss, to tell him to back off.

Jeez, it is such a sexist organisation.

OP posts:
Original poster
BerylStreep · 27/01/2011 13:25

Thanks for the replies. It really helps.

OP posts:
HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 27/01/2011 13:22

I would do as spidookly says. I would also keep emphasising the point in any e-mails/meetings that you have that he is treating you differently to other members of staff at your post level - for no good reason.

spidookly · 27/01/2011 13:17

I would post this in Employment. There are some amazing women that post there that really know their stuff.

donnie · 27/01/2011 13:10

Beryl; he is an arse and is clearly trying to force you out indirectly. You are doing all the right things. You should carry on accounting for your time keeping and whereabouts by email (boring I know) but make sure you cc copies of the emails to HR. Keep the tone of your responses neutral at all times. If he knows HR are receiving copies of all of his anbd your emails it might force him to tone down his attitude. If he makes comments to you verbally, make a record of them and date/time them. Tell him you are doing this as well.

Good luck.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/01/2011 13:04

He sounds like a real twat Beryl. Angry

I'm just saying that if he is, essentially, pretending to think you are not working the hours you should be, and possibly gearing up to get rid of you on this basis, you might need to try overkill. Explain to him (copy HR) that you understand that he is keen to keep track of when everyone is working, and that you will be letting him know daily from now on. Then email every day and copy in HR, at the same time as you record your hours on spreadsheet possibly?

Not sure how good my advice is, but I'm thinking along the lines of being over over nice to deal with a difficult customer.

Do you have an over-boss btw? Above twathead?

Original poster
BerylStreep · 27/01/2011 12:58

Elephants, this is the third time he has queried my hours in as many months, although this time was more aggressive. The last two occasions were I had changed my rest day in order to accommodate a work meeting, and he had been on leave so I couldn't tell him - I had advised my 2 colleague; the other where he said 'you didn't come in until 10am last Friday', when in fact I had been at a meeting.

Each occasion I explained the situation, and although I had already done so before, I e-mailed him the link to where I record my hours worked on a spreadsheet so that he can check it whenever he wants. I have also given him access to my outlook calendar so he can see my diary. I know for a fact that he has never looked at the spreadsheet, because I can audit who has accessed it.

This is so reflective of his attitude of PT workers, which is, I believe, the following:
He's doing me a massive favour by 'allowing' me to work part-time.
I should therefore be grateful, and be prepared to give in to his overbearing insistence that I work longer hours.
PT workers are not that committed.
PT workers are slackers and try to dodge working the hours they are pad for.

Aaargh.

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ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/01/2011 12:22

Sorry meant to add more but I had to run.

Have you had a meeting where you both have your contract to hand, and you go through it together in the presence of HR person? Then you could ask him the question "what do you need me to do to demonstrate that I'm working the hours agreed in the contract?" That might be you emailing him a brief line every day to describe how many hours you've worked that day. You shouldn't have to do this but if he's got a bee in his bonnet you might have to bore him to death with daily reports until he realises he's being a cock.

Because that might draw everyone back onto the real issue - you have a contract of agreed hours and he doubts that you are working those hours. The fact that he wants you to work more hours is a separate issue. (Makes me wonder why he wants you to work more hours if he thinks you're such a slacker Angry)

Crystylline · 27/01/2011 11:08

just a quick bit of advice to add...

have you checked your home contents insurance. sounds daft, but they normally have legal advice available for free as part of their terms. i had no idea I had this coverage, until i needed it.

my insurance paid for my legal work with an employment claim. very useful.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/01/2011 10:20

Sounds horrible Beryl :(

Original poster
BerylStreep · 27/01/2011 10:18

I spoke with my staff association rep the other day, and he has said he will see if he can get some funding for legal advice on this. I don't want to get embroiled in a legal battle over this - I just want to get on and do my job without this clown making life difficult for me. I am hoping that a carefully worded legal letter advising they are aware of the situation and watching developments with interest may help temper his actions. (However, there is every possibility that it could inflame the situation and make matters worse - my manager just cannot seem to listen to reason.)

That this has escalated to bullying has wider repercussions - my manager is the single individual in our organisation (of circa 9k people) who makes decisions regarding misconduct action. IMO this raises questions about his ability to perform in his role in a non-discriminatory and impartial manner. Our organisation has just paid out over 60k to someone who was in a similar situation (but with much worse health issues Sad), and my manager was involved in the discrimination by bringing unwarranted misconduct action against her. She didn't work directly for him though.

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AliceWorld · 27/01/2011 09:46

Sorry to hear this. Are you in a union? Can you seek their advice?

sethstarkaddersmackerel · 27/01/2011 09:43

poor you, I'm so sorry to hear it.
good luck.

Original poster
BerylStreep · 27/01/2011 09:40

Well, unfortunately it appears this is escalating into bullying. I received an e-mail from my manager on Monday asking me to explain how I had worked my 'contracted 6.5 hours on Friday'.

We were on a course together, and I went home afterwards at lunch-time, having worked 25 hours that week (which is what my contracted hours are - 25/week, not 6.5/day). He knows I went home after the course. I think he saw this as an opportunity to seize on an apparent misdemeanor.

I am middle management, and it is unheard of for individuals of my grade to have to check in & out with their managers in terms of time-keeping. My manager is responsible for 4 individuals of a similar grade to me (all FT except me) and he does not take a forensic interest in their time-keeping.

I provided him with the details of hours I had worked that week (25), and highlighted that I thought this was bullying and victimisation as a result of the ongoing discussions around my hours and DDA and copied it to the Head of HR (who has been present at these meetings) and my staff association.

I haven't been in the office since to find out what the response, if any, has been.

Seth, looking for a new job isn't really that simple - the field I work in only has one employer, I have been there for 18 years.

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Heroine · 12/01/2011 20:01

He is just an idiot trying to pressure you without actually talking to you and asking sensibly.

and re contract - you are right its not a 'favour' that you have part time hours -if you were getting paid full time and being let off that's one thing - perhaps pointing out his idiocy would be good, ask him how many hours you get paid for, then when he answers, pause, look a bit confused and then say 'so where's the favour?' as if you are honestly asking, then treat every answer with bemusement and say 'well everything seems fine then doesn't it??'

I had aboss who agreed I could come in late whilst engineering works were on then blamed me for being late every day and 'upsetting the team' what a tit :)

Original poster
BerylStreep · 11/01/2011 21:45

Seth, I think you are right. Reading through the minutes of the meetings, there are lots of references to employer being reasonable.

Just because they say it, doesn't actually mean it is.

I still think there is an underlying animosity, both from my manager, but also the wider organisation, towards women who work part-time. The perception is that we are slackers, when in fact the opposite is the case. Not sure if it is just limited to my area of work.

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sethstarkaddersmum · 11/01/2011 20:13

they're trying to get rid of you, this is the language of someone who is getting his case straight to justify it but knows that there are rules about this kind of thing.
I bet you anything the increase in hours is purely because they think it will make you leave and not for a moment because it is necessary to the job.

don't trust them an inch and start looking for a new job because you don't want to work with these wankers.

you may be fantastic at your job but it doesn't matter because they have convinced themselves you are inflexible and unreasonable.