What does someone actually mean when they say "I'm not a feminist"?

Bertie - I think you're probably a feminist...

I think that some women say it when what they really mean is that they aren't political.

Of course, everything is political to some degree, but plenty of women I know haven't ever thought of their lives in that way.

I agree with STH. I can't say I am a feminist as I don't know really what that means? I appreciate I should!

However I am a strong woman with a job in a traditionally male environment and hope my daughter will have every opportunity a man would have. I would fight for this, and have done for myself, and have an equal partnership with my dh.

This is my first post here, and I am genuinely interested in what feminism is, so please don't flame me!

noddy - you're right, lots of women see the word as being akin to being a "radical". Hatchet-faced, as I believe we were called last night. But there's nothing radical about being a feminist, or at least there needn't be. It's about wanting equally fair treatment - not necessarily the same, but equally fair. That's not a radical want. I don't get why so many people can't see this.

What she said - they don't understand feminism.

Also that they don't understand (fully or at all) sexism, the fact that it still permeates every area of a woman's life today.

What I usually think is "you are resistant to the label feminist, you clearly haven't thought this through, let me convince you otherwise!!!" then I get on my soapbox and shout at them until they either change their mind or cross me off their Christmas list forever.

I think it means they are idiots. Too stupid to actually understand what the word means, too stupid to bother to find out, too stupid to use their imaginations re the alternative.

I'd have to say I don't refer to myself as "a feminist" - I believe in equality, but I don't go round labelling myself as an anything-ist as I'd rather talk about what I believe is important and not have people lump me into a category which they think they know the definition of.

I think someone who says that either isn't a feminist in any way at all and is going along with a patriarchal lifestyle without question OR is someone who thinks they are not radical enough to carry the 'label'.I consider myself a feminist but enjoy being a woman

I agree with MissHellToe - I think a lot of women don't have any real understanding of what feminism is - we need to think about why the negative images of it are the first ones to spring to mind.

For me it means they don't understand feminism.

MissHellToe - that seems very reasonable.

I find it hard, however, to have much time for women who are happy to reap the benefit of the hard work and convictions of other women but seek to distance themselves from those same women.

When I hear that, I hear "I am very stupid and submissive."

I'm thinking about the question properly, as it's interesting how many women refuse to identify with what feminism stands for. So I'm not going to insult these women, rather try to understand, as women I love and respect refuse to call themselves feminists

I think they enjoy their life as a woman, and the effects of their gender has had only positive outcomes for them and other women they know. They enjoy their 'role' as a female in their family and job, and perhaps some women see feminism as being opposed to a balanced relationship where both members compromise and accept the other's needs and desires - eg in heterosexual sex where power becomes a key issue.

If feminism has limited appeal to some women, we need to unpick why rather than saying such simplistic things as what's above as I'm currently writing.

e) They think men will find them unattractive if they stand up for themselves
f) They are monumentally stupid
g) They do not value themselves enough to want equal treatment
h) They do not realise how much has changed as a result of feminists
i) They do not value independence and would rather be a chattel than an indepedent woman with her own voice

d) they think feminists hate all men and think they are rapists (variant on b))