Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

What does someone actually mean when they say "I'm not a feminist"?

316 replies

TheFeministParent · 02/01/2011 18:06

For me it means that either:
a) they are a man
b) they think feminist means militant lesbian
c) they think feminism has no relevance.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
sakura · 04/01/2011 04:23

I like how MillyR put it once. Feminism is not an "I'm allright Jack" movement, it's a social justice movement.

This is where I think some women misunderstand about what feminism is.

There is also that awful damage wreaked upon feminism by the "choice" movement, as in women can "choose" to be subordinate, to use their sexuality and looks to get money and power, rather than their abilities and hard work.

Then there is also the cognitive dissonance, the survival instinct that keeps women from identifying with women who are truly oppressed under patriarchy. The "those are other women" mentality that prevents women from joining forces and aligning with each other. There is also the need to want to identify with the dominant group for fear of acknowledging the contempt with which women are held. And they really are held in contempt, you only need to look at porn to see that

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 04/01/2011 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerBeatitude · 03/01/2011 23:42

I haven't read it. Read her earlier book the one she wrote with Robert Jensen and Anne Watsername. Pornography. My library doesn't stock Pornland, I'm going to have to buy it...

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerBeatitude · 03/01/2011 23:19

Which one SGM?

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mjinsparklystockings · 03/01/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SJisontheway · 03/01/2011 22:02

For me, if I was asked 10 years ago, I would not have considered myself a feminist. I think I was a little ignorant, and extremely naive. I had a good job in a male dominated field and although I came across occasional sexist views, I genuinely believed that the battle had been won and we were close to achieving equality. Since having children my views have changed dramatically. I have encountered overwhelming prejudice. Also, I believe society seems to have taken a huge step back in terms of the objectification of women, and as a mother, I worry about my children (particularly my daughters) growing up in such a society. So now, I would certainly consider myself a feminist. I am still educating myself though.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 03/01/2011 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBrandyButterflyEffect · 03/01/2011 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mjinsparklystockings · 03/01/2011 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheFeministParent · 03/01/2011 20:18

Come on seeker, I'm even considering meeting my DH at Heathrow when he flies in from NY giving him the DCs for the day and Marching myself....

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
TheFeministParent · 03/01/2011 20:07

There's always the march in March too, seeker!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheFeministParent · 03/01/2011 20:07

mjin.... Of course parents should both have equal opportunities when it comes to parental leave and working. However for most of us the decision about baby/child rearing comes down to money and thus far, out of all my friend bar one, the man earns significantly more and so he stays in his job. BF can present issues with some work too.

OP posts:
ISNT · 03/01/2011 20:05

Not all of us! But some of us did. Come next year! It was fun and really nice to meet up. We all wore our dungarees and exchanged leg-hair plaiting tips Wink Grin

I've enjoyed your posts on this thread seeker Smile

Original poster
TheFeministParent · 03/01/2011 20:03

Eh? Are you joking? Dittany didn't go either!

OP posts:
OracleOfDelphinium · 03/01/2011 20:03

mjin - I think you are quite right about work!

seeker · 03/01/2011 20:00

"Noddy I think most contributors to the feminism section are active....most of us met at the conference."

Ah, I was wondering why what I was saying didn't seem to be having much impact!

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/01/2011 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ISNT · 03/01/2011 17:50

I think that effecting change that feminists seek will have positive consequences for all sorts of other people, yes.

So loosening up the leave after a baby and allowing for more flexible working without penalty, will be positive for men as well as women, and for society as a whole TBH.

Working on the way sexual assaults are handled by the police will obviously positively impact for men and children who are attacked.

Stamping out street harrassment towards women would have a knock on effect on other types of street harrassment I'm sure.

And so on.

Having said that, there are some very strong conflicting views about things like automatic 50/50 residency on here even amongst the "regulars" - which has led to (how can I put it) lively debate in the past Grin

mjinsparklystockings · 03/01/2011 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Swipe left for the next trending thread