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Original poster

Do all women deny themselves for their families, or is it just mothers?

86 replies

Ormirian · 23/12/2010 18:49

Was anyone else brought up to give the rest of the family the biggest portion of food, if it's running short? To worry more about what they give at christmas than they receive? Is it a woman thing? Or just a mother thing? And is it generational - a hang over from the war and rationing? I wasn't around during rationing but I was brought up by a mother that was.

OP posts:
ClaireDeLoon · 23/12/2010 20:08

It's not even just a woman thing - DP will always say 'oh you have it' if there is one of something left we both like, insists that I serve myself first when we're eating etc. I think it's just nice manners really.

ISNT · 23/12/2010 20:05

My grandmother was a terror for it. I think the idea that it was a hangover from rationing is a valid one.

ISNT · 23/12/2010 20:04

I don't think it's selfish for a woman not to always go last / not to always have the bits that no-one wants TBH. Assuming that there is plenty to go around why should she.

Original poster
Ormirian · 23/12/2010 19:46

"Probably easier to give out and be selfless if you have been filled up first, IYSWIM."

That may be true.

But DH doesn't feel the need to do this. I am fairly sure my father didn't either.

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 23/12/2010 19:31

I think it is to do with how much you received yourself in your childhood and before having children. I notice that my friends and acquaintances who lacked for love and affection in their childhood, or lacked materially, are more selfish as adults than those who were showered with love and affection and didn't lack materially. Probably easier to give out and be selfless if you have been filled up first, IYSWIM.

TotorosOcarnina · 23/12/2010 19:25

I hink its politeness teamed with some 'mother complex' - for me anyways.

I feed everyone else before myself, I will be serving my kids seconds before I've even started my dinner.

But I like it, its just how I am.

Not for many people TBH, but my kids and husband, yes.

JingleBelleDameSansMerci · 23/12/2010 19:25

I was brought up in a household where this was the norm. I don't do it now though! Having said that, if there was only so much food and DD needed it obviously I'd give it to her.

moondog · 23/12/2010 19:25

Judging by the size of the average British woman and her obsession with 'me time' this is no longer an issue.

Hmm
msrisotto · 23/12/2010 19:25

My mum did this but I think it was more about weight control...

ISNT · 23/12/2010 19:23

My mum does this. I think it's partly generational. I am quite selfish really Hmm but honest Grin

shinyshoesandglitterypoos · 23/12/2010 18:51

Yes I was. Actually I was bought up, as were my brothers to put others before themselves so we have this cringeworthy 'oh no, you have the last slice' debates over every sodding cake. Luckily now I have scoffing children who just hoover up all and anything left available.

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