Social Services punish mothers for DV

"BUt the fact is that the system does punish mothers, disproportionately, for the crimes of fathers"

How does it? You keep saying that, but how?

A child will not be removed if there is no abuse in the home. Therefore, if your partner is abusive to your children, you must leave/make them leave. If you choose not to do this, you are facilitating abuse, and yes, for that you should be 'punished'.

I am not sure what your saying SS aim is to protect the children not punish anyone.

i know i was typing when you posted that bit.

SS cannot arrest people. why can you not see that SS have no authority to remove adults???

I think this is going round in circles.

Goodnight all.

if SS make a visit to a house where a man has been violent to his partner and both parents are there to see the social worker do you honestly think that social worker will direct all questions and warnings to teh mother???

more likely that when SS are called to visit, it is the result of a violent row and someone calling teh police or SS with concerns about teh child. SS usually call beforehand to arrange a visit. now if you were that abuser, would you stick around to have that chat??? no you would fu*k right off and leave your partner to take the flack. statistically more women are victims of DV than men, so onviously, the partner that is left to meet with teh SW is female and is teh one who will be given teh advice and warnings.

this is not a ploy on SS behalf to punish women.

Now you are just drawing assumptions with no basis to try and prop up your point, sorry.

It is not mothers who have responsibility in a violent relationship, it is the returner. The person who chooses to live in a relationship thy know is violent and in which their dc are in danger.

Gender is not the point, regardless of what you want to think.

FWIW family court is based on a childs right to have access to both parents not a parents right to have access to a child. I am a bit of a vetran of the courts and I have not liked very much that they have done but I can clearly see that they have stuck to their remit - to give the child access to both parents in as safe an environemnt as possible, as is the right of the child.

Assuming the non-abusive parent is an adult, then he/she is choosing to live with the abuser...how do you suppose SS are supposed to get involved?

Actually, tbf, you do have a point...but it's not related to your OP.

You don't seem to have a point, tbh. Can you answer my question?

I agree 100% with whyhavepets.

And children don't 'belong' to anyone, they are human beings. As a parent, it is your job to keep them safe. If you choose to live with a violent partner, then the children must be removed from that situation. This is not a punishment for anyone.

OP, can you give me an example of a situation like the one you describe in your OP, and explain what you think SS should have done instead of removing the child?

their - there

SS will remove children from an abusive situation. In DV cases where the father is the abuser, if the mother leaves an abusive situation, then they will not take the children as there is no longer an abusive situation. If the mother and father get back together, the abusive situation returns, and the children will be removed.

The father is not able to remove the children from the abusive situation (as he is the abuser), but the mother is.

well actually santasackura.

i think you'll find that they remove children from harmful situations. so if that is a woman beating her husband and he is refusing to leave with his children then yes SS will remove the children.

it isn't about punishing women, it is about protecting the children. if a couple put their dcs at risk by being violent or failing to remove the children from the impact of that then SS must step in. it's up to BOTH parents to protect children.

SS cannot remove an adult. the adults are their own responsibility. if a man or woman chooses to stay in a violent relationship there is nothing SS can do, they have no authority over that. how can you not see that?

Santas an abused person has the right to choose to return to the abuser, it is their right. SS are their to see that, when a person excercises the right to return, the dc are not adversly affected by it.

They are not in a position to pursue a DV case against the abuser, that is not their job it is the job of the police.

Whilst I do see your sentiment you are misguided.

The same restrictions apply when a father trys to return to a violent mother. The simple fact is that there are far fewer relationships where a father trys to return (with the dc) to a massivly abusive woman so these rules are seen in action far less often. However the fact that they are seen in action less often does not mean that the law is biased, just that the occurance is biased.