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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The demonisation of single mothers.

336 replies

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 02/12/2010 06:52

Hi,

I've ended up talking about this in various threads but have never dedicated a thread to it.

So, i'm looking for your thoughts. How do we see this in action? What are the views of single mothers? How are they propagated? Why are they propagated and why do they attract such demonisation?

I'd also like to hear about where you think the feminist vision saw single mothers, did it predict their would be more given the increased freedom women would have in their lives and their ability to leave male partners or choose to not have one without being financially or socially (though that hasn't held true entirely compared to 1960's it's at least possible to live this way) ruined?

Is women being able to have children alone a part of the feminist outcome - if women have more control over their bodies and reproduction surely it was an inevitable outcome? And is it in your mind a positive or negative thing in terms of feminism?

I'm actually going away for a few days now but hope this will attract lots of thoughts for me to read when i get back.

As for me, to put this in context, i am a single mother of a pre school boy. When i found out i was pregnant (unplanned) at 30 i decided that i was happy to be and wanted to keep the baby but that i didn't want to stay in the problematic relationship with the father. Therefore i've been a single parent from the outset.

I have framed this as about single mothers rather than single parents as it is my experience that single fathers are seen very differently, imo as heroes and glorified whereas single mothers get the demonisation treatment in popular culture.

Look forward to reading your thoughts.

OP posts:
BillHicks · 05/12/2010 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

TheCrackFox · 05/12/2010 21:49

If we can't pin it on his mum we have the next best thing - Eva Braun. On no account should a man be held to account if he does something baaadd. However, for a man, if it is a genuinely impressive achievement then, of course, he can take full credit.

EminentlyImminent · 05/12/2010 21:49

Just looking back to where the thread was before BH took hold, I don't think there is a human right to family as such (e.g. right to procreate). Article 8 of the European Convention of Human Rights offers general protection for a person?s private and family life, home and correspondence from arbitrary interference by the State - this has led to cases where the right to privacy has been extended and also where the UK has had to change legislation to permit transgendered people to change their birth certificate to allow them to marry.

I don't know that Article 8 has ever been successfully used to argue, for example, for fairness/consistency against an NHS Primary Care Trust who won't give a resident patient IVF when they might have had a different and better deal in another NHS PCT.

LadyBiscuit - I think the right refers to enjoying family life (once created e.g. right to live together can limit a state's deportation rights against illegal and criminal immigrants) and not a right to create a family.

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:37

Hitler was a woman you know.

Or alterntively: it was all Hitler's mother's fault.

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:36

MRA's don't just want a fair deal.

They want women to stop demanding that we be accepted as half of humanity and that therefore human societies should be organised for our benefit as well as that of the other half of humanity.

And mostly they hate women and think we should only be allowed to participate in society, if we behave like men. As is clear from your posts Bill.

poshsinglemum · 05/12/2010 21:35

I'd rather be demonised as a single mum than stuck with someone like YOU Bill. surely a wind up.

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 21:31

sethstarkaddersmum Sun 05-Dec-10 21:17:17

Bill thinks the SCUM manifesto is literal!
(falls off chair laughing).

bless his little cotton socks. Bill, when you grow up someone might tell you all about satire.

--

Yeah, I'm sure Hilter would be laughed at today if he had've been female and didn't get his way. Mein Kampf would be a book mostly forgotten about except by racists who are used to seeing people bring it up.

I'm also sure Andy Warhol was laughing when the author shot him, that was joke too right? No chance that the woman was a pyscho who happened to be a feminist?

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 21:27

HerBeatitude Sun 05-Dec-10 21:18:22

ha ha ha we all know SCUM was a piss take

And anti feminists always cite Erin Pizzey

So Bill, how do you think women and men could live respectfully and happily together?

--

Okay, well as far as Erin Pizzey goes what has she done that I don't know about? Obviously, you have guys have a side too.

Women and men can live quite nicely together as we speak, I'm quite happy living with my gf. I don't expect her to act like some ancient female rolemodel of virtue and she doesn't expect me to be a paragon of chivalry. We split everything 50/50.

MRA's just want the same deal when it comes to government funding, cancer research and the legal system. I don't see why I should cough tax dollar up for breast cancer research when I have a grandfather dead from prostate cancer, a cancer ignored because it only affects men.

Women's groups are afraid of MRA's because they're afraid they'll lose money to competing men's groups. Even the totally legit guys who aren't just out for abit of a laugh and try to show that they're willing to work together are laughed at and are told that 50% of the population don't deserve the same services!

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 21:19

Trop Sun 05-Dec-10 21:08:37

But you weren;t talking about workload before Bill, you were talking about dangerous environments versus the office.

You are squirming out of it because you know you are talking nonsense.

I'm bored of you now.

--

What are you trying to say then? People are trying to get me to guess their payrates here from what I read. My response was simple two people doing the same job should earn the same amount of money given the same workload. What's wrong with that?

A male and a female office worker get paid the same amount where I come from. A male and female plumber get paid the same amount too. But the cop certainly earns more than the office worker because they have a dangerous job. What's the problem? I said the paygap was due to facts like how men tend to do the majority of dirty and dangerous work that pay a premimum over cushy data-entry positions and the like. Which part of what I said don't you argee with?

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:18

ha ha ha we all know SCUM was a piss take

And anti feminists always cite Erin Pizzey

So Bill, how do you think women and men could live respectfully and happily together?

sethstarkaddersmum · 05/12/2010 21:17

Bill thinks the SCUM manifesto is literal!
(falls off chair laughing).

bless his little cotton socks. Bill, when you grow up someone might tell you all about satire.

TheCrackFox · 05/12/2010 21:16

You've got boring now Bill. Anyone who relies on Wikipedia to back up an argument is a fool.

EminentlyImminent · 05/12/2010 21:14

Oh dear. I didn't think I'd have to do this quite so soon but....I'm going to have to outsource my disagreement with Bill Hicks to PDD and have done with it so I can get on with enjoying the thread (lurking at the moment trying to think of something insightful to say...may be lurking a while yet)

Other posters on this thread, I invite you to outsource your disagreement with anything BH comes up with to this person instead: Privilege Denying Dude. It will ultimately have the same effect (as banging your head against a brick wall repeatedly) without the effort of having to type a reasoned response.

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 21:10

HerBeatitude Sun 05-Dec-10 20:59:26

feminists do not denigrate progressive men.

They denigrate men like you Bill - who are anything but progressive.


I suppose the SCUM manifesto was aimed at men like me too, huh?

I remember that particular manifesto urging feminists to kill male babies in their cots, replace males with spermbanks and then artificial sperm altogether. It also encouraged turning men into homosexuals to hasten our destruction, does that sound progressive and liberal to you? How about the women with signs at every damn feminist rallies saying "All men are rapists"? They're not denigrating or demonizing men at all?

How about the feminists who ran Erin Pizzey, the founder of the first British women's refugee out of town with bomb threats, physical confrontations and constant harassment? You know what she did? All she said was that of the first 100 women to enter her shelter, 60 or more of those women were as violent or more violent than the men they left. That didn't fit with their agenda, they couldn't control her so they destroyed her.

Proof: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:09

Sorry I mean 1 in 4 families are headed by single parents.

90% of them mothers, 10% fathers.

Why do you think so many women choose the stigma of single parenthood Bill? What do you think men could do to stop this?

Trop · 05/12/2010 21:08

But you weren;t talking about workload before Bill, you were talking about dangerous environments versus the office.

You are squirming out of it because you know you are talking nonsense.

I'm bored of you now.

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:07

Basically what he's saying is that as long as women are like men, they can be allowed to live and work and function.

But if they're like women, they ... er... shouldn't.

I think.

sethstarkaddersmum · 05/12/2010 21:06

Oh Bill, you know pitifully little history.
It's quite sad how weirdly skewed your version is.

ISNT · 05/12/2010 21:05

limp wristed prissy girl WTF????

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:03

So Bill, why do you think single mothers are demonised by society?

And why do you think that in spite of the demonisation, 1 in 4 women choose to join such an unpopular club?

What do you think men and women should do in order to live together happily and respectfully (because unlike you, that's what most men and women want)?

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 21:03

Trop Sun 05-Dec-10 20:48:16

Far be it from me to comment on my ability to lift the weight of your beer belly and fat head but you didn't answer my question.

I was working in exactly the environment you claimed entitled men to higher pay due to the risk.
I was required to wear the same PPE.

How much extra pay do you suppose I got?

--

I would assume given the same workload, you earned the same as a man at your workplace.

My girlfriend is a tomboy, did weights in HS, plays rugby, does taekwando and is almost as strong as me... I would expect her to get the same pay as me for the same work because I KNOW she can do it. She's not some limp-wristed prissy girl and I LOVE it. :p

HOWEVER... her older sister is a limp-wristed prissy girl and I wouldn't expect her to be able to perform as well physically as my girlfriend who as I've found is one of a kind. _

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 21:00

LOL at your assumptions about what we know, what we "realise" adn not Bill.

Trop · 05/12/2010 21:00

Bill MEN DIED and will continue to die in illegal wars they create because they haven't got the ability to reason and negotiate away from conflict.

Perhaps instead of banging on about the sacrifice in history you should be thinking about what you are going to do in future because you are behind the times.

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 20:59

feminists do not denigrate progressive men.

They denigrate men like you Bill - who are anything but progressive.

And women died fighting for freedom too.

BillHicks · 05/12/2010 20:56

sethstarkaddersmum Sun 05-Dec-10 20:41:18

LMAO.
Feminists have been accused of many things before but living in a Pride and Prejudice dreamworld is a new one on me.

--

Feminists denigrate the sacrifices of progressive men throughout history by suggesting that they have never acted in ANYONE'S interest but their own EVER. They also sully the names of men long dead, men who worked in the most appalling conditions to support their families. People had to die to secure the rights we take for granted at work, men DIED to get a TWELVE HOUR day! Men DIED for safety equipment, men DIED for the right to a decent day's pay.

"Women couldn't vote back in the day of the rule of thumb!" I've heard this one so many times, yet none of these women realize that nine year old boys were regularly losing arms, legs, fingers and hands in dangerous machinery and that the franchise was restricted to rich landowners and nobility until WW1 in some places! They didn't realize that men had to die protesting for rights that women have never doubted they will have for the rest of their lives.

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