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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The demonisation of single mothers.

336 replies

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 02/12/2010 06:52

Hi,

I've ended up talking about this in various threads but have never dedicated a thread to it.

So, i'm looking for your thoughts. How do we see this in action? What are the views of single mothers? How are they propagated? Why are they propagated and why do they attract such demonisation?

I'd also like to hear about where you think the feminist vision saw single mothers, did it predict their would be more given the increased freedom women would have in their lives and their ability to leave male partners or choose to not have one without being financially or socially (though that hasn't held true entirely compared to 1960's it's at least possible to live this way) ruined?

Is women being able to have children alone a part of the feminist outcome - if women have more control over their bodies and reproduction surely it was an inevitable outcome? And is it in your mind a positive or negative thing in terms of feminism?

I'm actually going away for a few days now but hope this will attract lots of thoughts for me to read when i get back.

As for me, to put this in context, i am a single mother of a pre school boy. When i found out i was pregnant (unplanned) at 30 i decided that i was happy to be and wanted to keep the baby but that i didn't want to stay in the problematic relationship with the father. Therefore i've been a single parent from the outset.

I have framed this as about single mothers rather than single parents as it is my experience that single fathers are seen very differently, imo as heroes and glorified whereas single mothers get the demonisation treatment in popular culture.

Look forward to reading your thoughts.

OP posts:
HerBeatitude · 06/12/2010 17:06

He obviously hasn't noticed that most of the people who rule the world, run global corporations etc. are men and white.

But he has successfully de-railed this thread hasn't he, I think we should ignore all his posts unless they deal with the issues around the demonisation of single mothers.

He's obviously barking bonkers about the idea that women are rushng around fucking unsuspecting innocent men who then get stung for mainteanance. I'm sure there are some, but in Bill's world it's the burning issue of the day, so he's not able to have rational debate and he is taking people's time and energy in a world where time isn't infinite.

Had we but world enough and time, it might not be so wearing...

TheFeministParent · 06/12/2010 16:21

(sorry fellow feminists, but I can't be arsed to even answer such stupidity with him brandishing words like rape and kiddie fiddlers, this person is not 23/25 more like some tosser like Jeffrey Marshall, some flaccid donkey who is a BNP supporter and nearer 65.)

TheFeministParent · 06/12/2010 16:19

Go and have a wank and fuck off Bill, you're annoying. You're too stupid for words, to ignorant for thoughts and frankly too arrogant for breath.

sixpercenttruejedi · 06/12/2010 15:41

bill, are you having a go at TSH? It's hard to tell. Odd, as she was supporting you Confused

sethstarkaddersmum · 06/12/2010 15:33

I want to move to this feminist utopia where Bill lives. (As long as it is big enough that I never have to see him.)

Can you imagine having a film pulled from a festival the second a woman objects?

BillHicks · 06/12/2010 15:30

TheShriekingHarpy Mon 06-Dec-10 13:33:19

Amidst all of the pejorative crap (ie "needledick who's lousy in bed and no fun for a woman to be around and therefore gets dumped all the time..)and the facetious, flippant commentary, "poor BH" emerges from this debate in a positive light, unlike so many others.

Its threads like this which lend credence to the idea that MN lis utilised by twats....and intolerant ones at that.

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Oh, so I suppose also those feminists in the 1960's were completely reasonable people... ALL of them, not a single one was unbalanced, overzealous or prejudiced.

You can't seem to make a statement without automatically launching an ad hominem attack simply because you do not happen to agree with me.

I'm sure if every man and every woman followed your example, the world would be a better place because no one would ever have to put up any form of speech that doesn't mirror your political affilations.

You know for a fact that if I said things like you have been saying to me to you in public, at a workplace or in earshot of any witnesses... You would immediately press charges and win a settlement under the current feminist system, I know that in the same situation the police wouldn't even take a statement.

Feminists talk about a pay gap whilst there exists a DEATH gap at work and at home, mostly because men's issues are overlooked in the rush to help the poor, oh so helpless woman. bursts into laughter

The average woman can do almost anything the average man can plus childbirth so I don't see why you still need the protections of institutions like chivalry. I don't expect you to bench 400 pounds and you shouldn't expect yourselve to either.

Work place deaths amongst men have not really fallen to say closer to 50% as you'd expect in a world where any gender can apply for almost any job and record numbers of women are going to work every year. Prostate cancer and prostate cancer funding are neglected and men die on average 7 years earlier despite having to retire later than women.

Men are also offered less services that could help them improve their quality of life and perhaps live a little longer.

LeninGrad Mon 06-Dec-10 14:11:42

TSH, do you really think someone who would surreptitiously administer an abortion pill to a pregnant partner, as BH said he would, comes across in a positive light?

Anyhoo, really don't want to engage any more on this, it's goading and bonkers and I'd rather it wasn't here at all.


I said if I were first decieved into impreganting the woman in the first place, I would consider it. I'm 100% clear where I stand on unwanted children, if you want a child and I don't... find someone else who is willing to help you raise the kid rather than relying on me to A: stick around and B: pay up. What possible excuse could someone have for going back on their word like that? If I punched 150 holes in my condoms, hid my girlfriend's pills and LIED to her to get her pregnant... I'd probably end up charged with rape and convicted with rape because the woman didn't consent to being mpregnated only to protected sex.

I hope for the best and prepare for the worst because feminists continously abuse their power in the education system, court system and government to have all MRA discussions quashed. Amnesty International pulled a film from their festival because a local women's shelter threatened to launch massive protests if a film about fathers left behind by the current divorce system were picked up by an organization that is supposed to stand for HUMAN rights.

Why is that feminists get TV spots paid for by the government whilst having stuff like this pulled from film festivals? The film was nominated for the friggen finals, yet it was removed from the festival the second a woman took a offense.

Feminists know they've got the better end of the deal now and they want to keep it that way by brushing aside anyone who complains is sterotyped as a woman-hating kiddie fiddlers. I wouldn't blame the men who have copped it the worst if they openly rebelled especially the guys who have been jailed for kids that aren't theirs(proven by dna test by ignored under equitable paternity law in many areas).

TheFeministParent · 06/12/2010 14:21

TSH...Nothing ever surprises me about your posts, and yet I am always disappointed.

LeninGrad · 06/12/2010 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheShriekingHarpy · 06/12/2010 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sethstarkaddersmum · 06/12/2010 12:54

LOL @ Otis Ferry.

TheFeministParent · 06/12/2010 12:12

There should really be a self censor button until someone reaches adulthood, like a small electric shock which prevents the young mind from expressing ill thought out and immature opinions. Poor BH does sound like many of the boys when I was at school. It's a bit like listening to Otis Ferry, all pomp and no substance. Kind of funny, although I do feel mean for laughing in a patronising way everytime I read one of his posts.

ISNT · 06/12/2010 09:24

Bill Hicks has spotted that SGB is a virgin. Very perceptive. Of course we a are all virgins, because we're too fugly to snare a man, that is why we are feminists dontchaknow.

TheFeministParent · 06/12/2010 07:46

What valuable energy is being wasted on this bloke, seriously I'd rather engage with those women from Punternet.

Can't we ban a twat that talks about 'rape fantasies'.

BillHicks · 06/12/2010 01:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Sakura · 06/12/2010 01:08

oh, just realised HerBeautitude covered the "right to child" issue back on page 7. Yes I suppose it's not a human right to have a child, it's a human right to be able to pursue procreation (within reason)

Sakura · 06/12/2010 01:03

ISNT, you've taken a different angle on the human right issue.
What I was talking about re. human right to have a child is that over the years you've always had some men declaring this or that group of women unfit to procreate. The current fad is poor women (benefit scroungers).
So many wOmen have been sterilized under patriarchy for no other reason than the powers that be decided they should be. A read a case of two teenage girls who were sterilized in the UK for no reason other than spurious alleged mental health problems (which could have been depression or just something made up by a power-hungry doctor)
Race, class, mental distress.. all have been reasons to declare certain women have no right to bear children.

SGB, blinding kill at the end there

StuffingGoldBrass · 06/12/2010 00:45

Oh by the way, your 'luck won't run out' if you have a vasectomy, though I imagine your personality is proving a pretty effective contraceptive anyway.

StuffingGoldBrass · 06/12/2010 00:43

Only 23 eh? And already a complete failure. I know you're a failure, Littlewillyhicks, because if you weren't, you wouldn't be scweeeeeeming so much about how awful uppity women are.

BillHicks · 06/12/2010 00:39

StuffingGoldBrass Sun 05-Dec-10 22:10:27

"BillPricks is obviously a loser, whose girlfriend probably has a valve in her back, hence his slobbering resentment of women who don't take him seriously. BEcause we don't have to. Wanky spiteful men are an evolutionary dead end as the human race progresses, because women don't need them."

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That sounds awfully sexist to me, that would be like me accusing you of being a frumpy lesbian who spends all her money plaster cast reproduction horse dildos to avoid having to deal with something shaped like a human penis and all because she got "almost" raped by a guy who brushed past her in a narrow hallway once. Sterotypes aren't that much fun, are they?

Tbh though, I have to say you're wrong about "wanky, spiteful men". There are guys out there who beat, rape and cheat on their girlfriends and they seem to be the type knocking up all those teenage girls. Just watch an episode of Jerry Springer and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Where as I'm the type who takes shitloads of precautions because I don't want to end up on one of those damned shows with the "paternity test FIVE guys at once" whores and the drug-addled, aids-riddled idiots who get them pregnant.

TheCrackFox Sun 05-Dec-10 22:16:56

"As for you Posh, I'd rather not be a father at all if it meant having a child with someone like YOU. That being said, I keep a pack of RU486 in my drawer JUST in case I end up with an idiot who does try to trap me. A couple pills and BAM the baby is gone!"

Is there any reason why you wouldn't just use condoms or is your sense of self entitlement so huge that assaulting women is easier?

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You think a guy like me doesn't use condoms? You think a guy with my views doesn't remind his girlfriend to take her pill first thing, every morning? It's all I've got, one single drop gets into a woman and you're pretty much screwed if she doesn't abort. Even with stuff like RU486 lying around, I'd still have to get her to take it. I'm very lucky my current girlfriend is as paranoid as me when it comes to becoming a parent early, she knows I have the RU486.

If you can order viagra off the net, do you think RU486 is hard to get your hands on? Who said ANYTHING about force either? She lies and says she is on the pill, I'll smile and tell her the pill is vitamin C or asprin if she get pregnant, no biggie, ey? If both acts were a felony, situations like this wouldn't happen. My religious use of condoms has saved me so far but I know that my luck will run out and I plan for the worse case scenario accordingly.

If I were to have kids tommorrow, I could only afford to put one of them through college with my life savings so far (23). I won't have kids until I can afford to put EACH of them through college and I want three. I WILL selfishly not bring children into this world without the resources to give them the chances I never had, I would certainly never have a child on social security, that's just a recipe for disaster.

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StuffingGoldBrass Sun 05-Dec-10 23:09:38

Trop: It's more the sign of a complete bullshitting knob-end TBH. RU486 is a prescription-only drug given under medical supervision, and anyone who a)obtained it illegally and b) tried to forcibly administer it to someone else would be facing prosecution.
Like I said, Billpricks has never actually had sex. And it probably about 14, all spots and wankstains.

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More sexist sterotyping~ I suppose if I responded by calling you PMSING lesbian with a leather fetish, I'd be a sexiest pig, huh? I won't do that. :p Anyone can throw insults around, you've proven yourself every bit as rude, insulting and sexist as the men you hate.

StuffingGoldBrass · 05/12/2010 23:09

Trop: It's more the sign of a complete bullshitting knob-end TBH. RU486 is a prescription-only drug given under medical supervision, and anyone who a)obtained it illegally and b) tried to forcibly administer it to someone else would be facing prosecution.
Like I said, Billpricks has never actually had sex. And it probably about 14, all spots and wankstains.

Trop · 05/12/2010 22:49

"As for you Posh, I'd rather not be a father at all if it meant having a child with someone like YOU. That being said, I keep a pack of RU486 in my drawer JUST in case I end up with an idiot who does try to trap me. A couple pills and BAM the baby is gone!"

That is the sign of a very, very sick mind.

StuffingGoldBrass · 05/12/2010 22:31

Bwahahah, Bill, you've never had sex at all, have you? Even sex workers would chuck your money back at you and tell you to piss off.
All bigots are complete failures, BTW. And MRA men are the biggest failures of the lot, what drives them so nuts is knowing that they are losers and that many women, as well as men, simply outclass them.

TheCrackFox · 05/12/2010 22:16

"As for you Posh, I'd rather not be a father at all if it meant having a child with someone like YOU. That being said, I keep a pack of RU486 in my drawer JUST in case I end up with an idiot who does try to trap me. A couple pills and BAM the baby is gone!"

Is there any reason why you wouldn't just use condoms or is your sense of self entitlement so huge that assaulting women is easier?

StuffingGoldBrass · 05/12/2010 22:10

As others have said, a lot of men really resent the fact that they can't have children without the co-operation of a woman, and so some men have tried over the centuries to make it as hard as possible for women to have any choice about who impregnates them and whether they have children or not.
BillPricks is obviously a loser, whose girlfriend probably has a valve in her back, hence his slobbering resentment of women who don't take him seriously. BEcause we don't have to. Wanky spiteful men are an evolutionary dead end as the human race progresses, because women don't need them.

HerBeatitude · 05/12/2010 22:10

Men should set up their own domestic violence refuges. That's what women had to do.

Of course they are turned away from female DV refuges - the women in their have been fucking traumatised by men and have the right to feel safe and not have men come into their safe space.

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