menstruation taboo... strong as ever?

harpsichordcarrier, quite agree about the toilet paper example.

My mum once suggested that I move my tampax out of the bathroom (where surprise surprise is the most convenient place to keep them) so my brother didn't see them. I was 22 and he was 23!

I didn't hide them BTW (my flat, my choice)...

snorbs i wish you had been my dad!!

[I'm a man, BTW]

My DCs' mother has always been open about periods and I've always followed along with that. When DD was 8yo she'd had a conversation with her school friends about periods and obviously twigged that as she lives with me it's unlikely I'd have sanitary items lying around. So we had a chat about it all as well as encouraging her to talk to other women family members and friends. I know the mechanics of what goes on but I can't answer the question of what having a period feels like.

I also got her a PoGo Pack which has a selection of different pads as well as information and, hopefully, everything else she'll need for when her periods start. I know it'll likely be a few more years yet but I think that she found it very reassuring that she can talk to me and that she won't be caught out. DS was also interested in the pack and so I had much the same conversation with him.

So to answer the OP, there's no real menstruation taboo in this house. Which makes a difference from when I grew up as it was never discussed at home. Ever.

I don't discuss periods or have sanitary stuff lying around in our house as I have been through the menopause - so nothing to talk about - but this thread has reminded me that it is an important subject to discuss with my DS.

That could have been me (although substitute a caravan for a house....) That said, my dad probably would have been okay - I was the one who had so internalized the taboo that the admission would have been almost impossible.

that is sad chipmonkey. i have to say i imagine if it had been me in that situation my own dad would have been the same.

booyhoo, that story reminds me of one of my schoolfriends but it is only now, years later, I see how ridiculous it was.

She was on holiday with her parents and got her period on the beach. She asked her Dad for the keys to the house they were staying in as she had no tampons with her.

Her Dad didn't want to give her the keys and wondered why she wanted to go up to the house on such a lovely day. She was too embarrassed to tell him why but eventually threw a strop so he gave her the keys.

At the time as a bunch of 16 year old girls, not one of us thought it ridiculous that a girl couldn't mention having her period to her own father

Oh yes Nickname, I'd forgotten I used to do that too! I'm sure my Mum knew actually, I was convinced she would come and talk to me and tell me it was all okay.

In the end, I could barely speak through the floods of tears telling her. Bloody (literally) traumatic!

wubbly, that's very familiar. I used to raid my mother's stash of pads/tampons because I was too embarrassed to ask. And it's not like she left them in a place where I could easily find them. They were well hidden and required a lot of searching (and during one search, I accidentally came across a rude magazine belonging to my father, which I was very shocked by at the time).

yep. i knew my mum was embarrassed to although, for a midwife, you would imagine she was pretty au fait with the reality of of human reproduction.

Awful memories booyhoo.

I think really, looking back now, I would imagine the reason I was embarrased to talk to her about it was because she was obviously embarrased to talk to me!

I've inserted tampons when DS is in the room. It's not like he can see anything, I'm sat on the loo. The alternative is to sit there all day, since he refuses to leave me in peace!

I don't know. I don't think it's any more taboo than any other quite initmate bodily function TBH. Added to which the fact that is something that boys don't have to deal with makes it inevitable they won't be as aware or interested I guess. I wouldn't have a problem with my sons seeing my tampons but I would have a problem with them seeing me inserting one Is that a taboo? I don't think so.

I agree that periods are not a disability but serious pain and heavy bleeding are not easily ignored either. The idea that because it's "just" a period you should carry on regardless is ridiculous IMO. How many men would do that? If men had periods the world would be a much different place.

oh wubbly, you have just reminded me of a fourth time i spoke to my mother about periods. i instigated it though.

we were on holiday and had visited a water park for the day. my period had started a few days erlier and i had pads but i was really reluctant to go in the water. i didn't know the water would stop the flow of blood and eventually my mum got really narked with me not joining in so i had to tell her why. she didn't get me tampons. i was 12.

booyhoo, that's exactly what my Mum did with me. I was wasn't sure if I was supposed to have read the booklet or not, but when I started my periods I couldn't tell her.

I don't know why, what I was afraid of but it took me several miserable months to finally tell her, even then it was because I'd ran out of money to buy pads and bled all over my shorts.

DS has just turned 4, he sees tampons and pads and thinks they're for ladies bums. I'm not sure how I'll tell him exactly, just play it by ear and answer his questions as the crop up I suppose, but I'd never what him to think it's something to be ashamed of.

I use washable towels so once a month they are either drying on the line or on the radiators.

Ds (6) would happily explain what they are for, I just asked him and he said,

'they are sort of like a nappy, so your clothes don't get messy, they are there to catch a nest made of blood, that mummies body would have needed if she was having a baby, but she isn't so the nest has to come out and is caught by the pretty nappies. Then the nappies get washed so they can be used again, rather than thrown away, it isn't good to throw things away unless you have to'.

And Dp will happily throw them in, or get them out, of the machine.

No shame here, though I see it alot with other women and think it is really crappy.

arrgh, i have no sound!! can't watch clips.

Twice the fun it seems!

Just in case you needed some period related entertainment.

My dad used to buy them for me. Although he would refer to them as 'torpedoes'.
And I never ever let girls out of sport when working at a school unless they produced a note. A period is not a disability!!! Oh and this is from someone who had two days off school a month and regular pethedine injections for her periods from age 9!

Just in case you needed some period related entertainment.

My dad used to buy them for me. Although he would refer to them as 'torpedoes'.
And I never ever let girls out of sport when working at a school unless they produced a note. A period is not a disability!!! Oh and this is from someone who had two days off school a month and regular pethedine injections for her periods from age 9!

in my cirlce of family and friends it is taboo. my mum has spokne to me 3 times about periods.

1. the day i started them she told me she would get me pads.
2. the day my sister fainted at the bus stop
3. when i told her i was pg with ds1. she siad she knew because i hadn't had my period.

my introduction to periods was a booklet my mum left in my room when i wasn't there.

only one of my friends is open about it and we have no problem talking about them. her husband is open about them too. my ds is only 5 and so far hasn't asked what my tampons are for or why i am putting them in my vagina. don't know if he has actually noticed tbh but i don't lock bathroom doors and he has been tehre whilst i have done it.

It's not the taboo that bothers me so much but the attitude that even if your periods are awful and you're having a terrible time you should just carry on as normal. When I was training to be a teacher our (female) PE coach would let the boys sit out for any minor ailment or injury (usually drink related) but even if you were green and vomiting because of period cramp you were still expected to carry on. I've heard the same attitude to pregnancy to a certain extent, even from my midwife, who says "Oh that's just pregnancy" if ever complain about anything, as if that makes me feel any better
There's an attitude that periods shouldn't be complained about and that because they happen every month you don't have any right to expect any consideration if you're really suffering.

It's taboo in my parent's house - I would hide my mooncup if they were coming around. But my DD (just turned 3) has seen me using it and I've explained. I admit that I'm hoping she won't go off and share her knowledge ("Mummy has blood coming out of her vulva!") with the wider public.

I think there's definitely a taboo, you can see it even in the adverts for sanitary products. There was one not long ago for tampons in small discreet packaging, where the man comes into his girlfriend's apartment while she's showering/changing in another room or something, and accidentally picks one up and opens it thinking it's a sweet - and the camera cuts away to the outside (because we couldn't possibly actually be expected see the dreaded item) and you just hear his scream of horror as he realises what he picked up. I know it was supposed to be funny and maybe poking fun at men's attitudes more than anything, but really seemed bizarre to me. What's so horrific or disgusting about a clean, unused tampon? Surely no worse than picking up a clean tissue or sticking plaster?

It would actually be a real 'red flag' (sorry :)) for me if a man was really disgusted by anything to do with periods, would suggest some not very nice attitudes about women and our bodies. My DP is happy to buy tampons if I need them, and was interested to see my mooncup when I first got it.

Oops - panty liners even, although party liners sound more fun!

Just wanted to say I don't actually empty my mooncup in front of the kids but they have caught me squatting to pop it back in before and asked what I was doing.

My seven year old asked if the mooncup was to catch the egg that mummy makes which I thought was a pretty good question.