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Original poster

What makes a man?

85 replies

TheFeministParent · 15/11/2010 17:18

Just wondering as I keep trying to articulate masculinity or maleness and I really couldn't tell you anything about a man that makes him a man that doesn't make him sound (or me) like an anti feminist!

So I was thinking strong, safe, straight forward....

OP posts:
dittany · 15/11/2010 18:14

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Original poster
TheFeministParent · 15/11/2010 18:10

Sorry, I am newish to Feminism (and have namechanged, please don't out me) and I find myself using 'bank expressions' like 'he's really masculine' or 'manly', and then I wonder what attributes I pin on this compliment/comment. Can we really not have gender difference? Are we only socialised to be men/women? DH and I have non traditional and traditional roles. I do the DIY, he cooks but I expect him to take the rubbish out because he's massive and I'm a shortarse!

OP posts:
HerBeatitude · 15/11/2010 17:52

Pecs.

RealityBomb · 15/11/2010 17:50

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SparklingExplosionGoldBrass · 15/11/2010 17:50

If he has testes, a penis, a prostate gland and no ovaries or uterus, he's a man.
If she has ovaries, a uterus, a vulva and no testes or penis, she's a woman.
Any mixed combinations would probably indicate an intersex individual or someone undergoing gender reassignment. Or someone who has suffered a serious accident or health problem (eg needing a complete hysterectomy and removal of ovaries doesn't necessarily make a woman stop being a woman)
HTH.

harpsichordcarrier · 15/11/2010 17:49

hmm, interesting question.
the difficulty here is that I would hate to be defined by 'what makes a woman'..
I mean I am an individual and I don't like to be defined by my gender.
so I am inhibited from doing the same to men.
I know what I find attractive and admirable in a man, but that's notquite the same question. I think?

minipie · 15/11/2010 17:44

cross posted and agreed Elephants. of course, all those characteristics would make a good woman, too.

minipie · 15/11/2010 17:44

Erm, I don't think you can articulate maleness or masculinity. What makes a man is a Y chromosome and a set of male genitals and hormones. (And even then there are some men that don't have all of those...)

Any personality characteristics (strong, straightforward etc) are generalisations that won't apply to all men and will probably apply to many women.

Though you could legitimately ask "what makes a stereotypical man"...

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 15/11/2010 17:41

I can't think of anything that I can think of that would be specifically "male" or "female" personality traits if we lived in a noon-sexist society.

But within the current way of living, there are certain qualities I would say make a "good man" if that helps?

  • unbothered/threatened by anyone's gender, sexuality, race or religion
  • willing to use his strengths to help those less able in those areas. E.g. if he is strong, happy to carry heavy bags for old people at the train station. If clever at maths, uses that ability to think of ways to e.g. alleviate poverty.
  • not hung up on the idea of "man" or "woman" as someone's defining featuring, and applying this to himself. So unfettered by the idea that he is more/less able to do things because he has a cock.
MillyR · 15/11/2010 17:29

Robert Jensen said that in our society you can choose to be a man or you can choose to be a human being, but you cannot be both.