Shoes for Women - why is their pressure to wear uncomfortble footwear to 'fit in'?

Now see I care deeply about aesthetics. I find some clothes more appealing than others.

I would feel very pissed off if I had to wear masculine shoes or easy fit trousers, for eg all the time.

And I don't do a lot of things: tan, nails, straightening, earrings, foundation in day, stilettos etc (again personal aesthetic reasons)

I feel I am making a valid choice as a woman.

Or am I?

I don't wear heels - apart from one pair of wedges that have been worn out of the house once and some low heeled boots. I have been asked not to tower over dh as he is 3 inches shorter that me and feels uncomfortable if I am towering over him in platforms - but to be honest if I wanted to wear tottering heels I would - I just don't.

I see them as something for other women - not me - I am tall and broadly built (think sturdy farm girl) with wide lare feet that simply do not fit into pretty party shoes. I love my birkenstocks and boots I spent my teens in converse and dm's.

I do think it is mad that women are expected to wear impractical shoes in order to be considered 'feminine' - I am very feminine, I even wear dresses but the shoes I choose are comfortable and it does not seem to bother men. I always think of other women judging me for my frumpy footwear not blokes.

It is like all the make over shows where a frumpy looking womaen is transformed into a siren by being squeezed into underwear and a dress emphasising her 'bangers' and a 'killer' heels - yes that is all fine for standing in front of a mirror or tottering up a catwalk but try actually living your life in these ridiculous outfits!? I find control underwear creates new unusually positioned unsightly bumps once you actually start walking around and skirts ride up tights fall down (or is this just me???) Why the f**k does 'fashionable' or 'attractive' have to mean 'impossible to function' in?

When dh is questioned he prefers me without make up or restrictive clothing (or any clothing). So why does there have to be an industry built around putting women into impractical/ restrictive/ expensive/ reductive clothing? Apologies for the child like questioning but it just peeves me that we buy into it - I do as well (not the shoes though)!

I must admit I am struggling with squaring wearing heels to say a party at someone's house as I enjoy dressing up and link it with having a great night and being a feminist.

Maybe they are totally incompatible.

There is not a coherent solution to this at the moment.

On the one hand you should be able to wear heels because you shouldn't have to second guess a sexual attack.

On the other hand, heels are historically constructed for male pleasure.

But females should also be able to attract males if they wish.

And they should be able to do it without fearing sexual attack

But by wearing these heels, they are arguably more vulnerable to sexual attack

But then it is men setting the agenda again

And we are back at the beginning

It is literally no win at the moment to this argument. For me, the reason why this remains is that women still need to attract men. That is a basic instinct which puts the spanner in the works.

Hey I am really riling against the fact that I might have to wear Ecco shoes or Birkies

I do accept the handicap thing, and the Chinese foot binding similarity and women being bound, trapped and curtailed.

Although in the end I have said sod this I am not wearing heels at work. But I will resolve this by not working in an office!

Which was a feminist decision.

But when I did play the game I wanted to be good at it.

It's all an illusion. Even with flats a man is likely to be stronger and could still be likely catch you.

It is a liberal position, I am playing the game, not radical. But I can't accept it is always unfeminist. Because I see my increase in power as outweighing my handicapped position due to context. --- the interview.

Have read this thread with interest.

Started getting major heel/ball of feet pain about 18 months ago and eventually saw a podiatrist (self-referred NHS). Apparently my feet pronate, and I was given orthopaedic insoles which made an instant improvement.

Trial and error led me to wear DD's clumpy Timberland boots throughout last winter and fake Birkies all summer. Have had a disastrous start to this winter in my quest to find something remotely fashionable but have settled on these after many depressing hours hunting for the non-existent.

Hate the stripper shoe/ballet pump fashion and just know that there will be another generation keeping the podiatrists busy.

As an earlier poster said, 3 inches is no longer regarded as high, and 'mid' heels are rare as hens teeth.

A moot point for me, mine are languishing in the back of the wardrobe. A couple of hours wear on a night out means 2-3 days of pain afterwards

I have become my mother, I look at beautiful shoes and just think 'ooh, those soles are not good'

No, really I feel more powerful. I walk into the interview room and the man stands up to shake my hand and sometimes, wow I am taller! I look at him at eye level. I feel good and confident.

They look impressed.

My primal level can't be that disconnected from my conscious or sub-conscious. I would feel some sort of discombobulation.

I feel more vulnerable in the street in heels.

Not in interviews. What about the fact that at a primal level the bigger animal always wins? And I know that.

I subscribe to the view that we make choices in a context and it is good to be aware of the context but ultimately only you know how the choices pan out from where you are so only you can make those choices. In an interview the extra height becomes more of an important factor (and I wouldn't be surprised if it actually did have an effect on you getting the job - I know there is evidence that tall candidates are preferred above short ones, all other things being equal) and as you say you're probably not going to have to run away from the interviewer....

X posts Seth. Yes I don't think anyone should wear heels too, no way.

In a practical sense I really don't feel vulnerable in an interview situation and I sure don't walk around at night in heels alone.

Generally it is far too restrictive for me that I must not wear a certain type of shoe because of the affect it has on others, or because of some one else's possible aggression.

Marsha, wear what you feel good in. I don't think anyone is saying what 'we have' to wear - just that a lot of people don't want to wear heels ever and get fed up of the pressure to wear them. It doesn't mean that people who are wearing heels should feel ashamed (a word someone used further down the thread, I don't mean you do) or disapproved of by other feminists.

It is quite a serious point that they limit the way in which you can defend yourself. Men are generally physically stronger already, so as you say unwind, it is a pretty strange and dangerous position we put ourselves in by wearing these heels.

Subscribe to the sexual stereotype, but at the same time make yourself unable to defend yourself effectively from sexual advances.

But there are so many bits of hypocrisy and also disempowerment of women in the statements above, it just gets very complicated.

When I go out or to interviews I wear heels. Nice, well-made heels with solid heel.

I love being as tall as the men. I really can't subscribe to this idea we have to wear comfortable flats at all times.

maybe that is why they are called

CFM (come fuck me) shoes

and fuck me boots

you can't run away

This was a topic that came up with my very first feminist lecturer over 15 years ago. She was insistent that high heels were a technique by misogyny to control women. Both sexually and physically.

Sexually, as already mentioned - pleasing men etc. Physically because they limit how a woman can defend themselves. They cannot balance properly should they be attacked and certainly cannot run away should they be need to. They are dangerous in many ways.

Haven't read the whole thread, but could we start a campaign for men's shoes to be made in smaller sizes? I for one, would always buy men's shoes if they made them in my size. As it is I usually wear trainers.

Ivy that's very interesting about elderly men's and women's feet, and army boots being crap.

if you are knock kneed, you might want referral to a podiatrist (can self refer in my area, on the NHS)

They will probably tell you it is extremely important that you wear insoles, not just for your feet, for your knees, spine etc. And the NHS insoles won't fit in any mary janes I've tried.

Sh!t, well I learned some stuff from this thread thanks. I have knee and hip pain because i'm pretty knock knee'd. I need to find some mary janes.