Shoes for Women - why is their pressure to wear uncomfortble footwear to 'fit in'?

so do it marsha...wear what you like

I will admit I'm not a woman who loves loads of shoes.(or bags) I have infact one pair of Chloe pumps! And some mj boots with solid heels and flat vw ones. And two bags, one man's Paul Smith one and a nice one from liberty.

I prefer clothes. But I do just want to wear them for a few hours a month at a social do without feeling too bad about that darn patriarchy.

Marsha, I don't wear heels myself, but I don't judge others who do

I think the facts do speak for themselves though, when you wear very high heels you are effectively "hobbled" or in danger of breaking an ankle

they also throw out your posture abnormally (the bit that appeals to men) by creating a deeper curve in your back, sticking your bottom out and tautening the muscles in the back of your calves

hence, low back pain, heel pain, chronically shortened achilles tendons and all that before talking about what they do to your actual foot/toes

having said that, I do love fashion myself, and shoes, for some women are a true "love"

I stand and drink champagne and laugh and talk, and I only have to move fast if someone farts.. Ok only joking . But I don't wear heels to cross London on foot or anything.

Yes I agree - I think beautiful high heels would probably look great in a frame or on a shelf - just not on my poor feet

Thank you msrisotto.

Fashion to me is like art.

I looove clothes and finding nice ones - just don't believe in heels and I find clothes that you cannot sit down in without a major 'wardrobe malfunction' impinges on the 'joy' I get from living

I have some beautiful heels. I wonder if it can be likened to Germaine Greer's perspective on make up that if it is worn like art, it is ok. I feel like that about a particular darling pair of heels anyway.

I do enjoy it , the dressing up like a child would. It feels different and fun.

I get it's not for everyone but I do feel a bit like yes I should feel bad about a male society doing this to me.

I don't! I feel quite sure I am making my own decisions.

I usually do wear very low heeled boots to social events - I do feel slightly under pressure to wear heels when I go out with a new group of women friends (mothers of children at my kids schol) as they all get their massive heels out, but once in heels I can never shake the feeling that I am somehow in drag so I am happier wearing my boots and accepting that I cannot join in with the 5 mins of oohing and ahhing over shoes in the evening. [shrugs]

Ok cross posts. I like flat riding boots and happily wear nice ones.

No marsha but I bitch piss and moan about it afterwards!

Why joyless?

It's only joyless if we don't like the clothes we wear.

And whilst I may look elegant for a while in heels, after about 30 mins I will be waddling like a duck so not in the slightest aesthetically pleaseing

I'm finding this approach to dressing a bit joyless.

Some of it is for the fun of it inspite of men not because of them.

But aesthetically pleasing doesn't have to mean impractical and restrictive? does it?? I find stretchy jrsey knee length dresses pratical and comfortable as they allow me freedom of movement and worn with leggings and knee boots they are still attractive (imo) - see aesthetics are not universal - I suppose my outfit might be considered fugly by another observer - I am happy though.

Yes marsha. Usually. I have some very nice long black boots with no heel.

I live in a hot country and live in rubber flip flops.

I have zero tolerance for uncomfortable shoes.

I have wiiiiiiiide feet, so anything with a closed toe or strap across is unlikely to fit.

I struggle to find anything remotely stylish with a chshioned sole.

Birkies or flip flops.

I do find that when in comfortable shoes I tend to walk more freely, with bigger strides and my shoulders relaxed. More like a man? It does make you wonder why being 'feminine' requires you to be more constrained in your movements.

But I have worked almost entirely with men for many years. Maybe that makes a difference.

I do dislike the term 'feminine' anyway.

So you all wear flat boots to social events?

What is considered attractive is constructed by a patriarchal society, therefore I don't really think a womans choice to wear killer heels is truly her choice, but one heavily influenced by men.

I don't feel under pressure to buy or wear stupid shoes. It might help that I am nearly 6' tall so always felt more embarrassed about being 'too' tall in heels than about wearing unfeminine shoes. I now also have a foot injury that means I can't wear anything over about an inch anyway.

I wear a lot of flat heeled boots or converse. Trainers for running. I have one pair of 'smart' shoes for work but they have a low heel too.

re. wearing stillys at work to 'fit in' - this is one area where working in a more male dominated environment (and one where I was required to walk to site visits frequently) fitting in meant sensible shoes (though I did have a pair of dark red boots with a couple of inches of heel that came out occasionally but I did find them uncomfortable if worn all day...

Maybe the environments I wear heels in are ones I feel are safe. Because the men are civilised, married or professional. Yes an illusion, of safety. I can't bear leering and wouldn't feel comfortable. But I actively avoid those situations now.

I refuse to wear shoes I cant run in. I wouldn't feel safe otherwise.