Shoes for Women - why is their pressure to wear uncomfortble footwear to 'fit in'?

Ha I know god knows why I said 'patches'

Places, places....

Someone told me once that I was convincing / had authority and 'people listened to what I said'.

Probably a combination of culter & gross glasses, blonde hair, height and heels. People were stunned by the mixed messages into agreeing with me

Marsha - glad you said that totally read as your underarms

Sounds like that trainer had seriously simplified looking confident. I do stacks of presentations, and do appreciate the need to look confident, but the stance isn't the sum total of it. Folks for strokes. The men I work with tend to shout to be heard, I stay silent (as in to get people to be quiet, not to let them mindread). Shouting wouldn't work for me, whereas silence does a treat. So equally just standing like a man (that's how I see the wider stance thing) doesn't do it.

I was referring to the office then, not my er underarms

Haha I haven't done colours.

Men are good at doing that feet apart pose and filling the space. Felt too male for me.

I'm usually just hoping I don't get sweat patches. Well when I used to work in an office and do pitches. Overheated patches of hotness that they were.

Maybe we all looked really stupid then, and he was just taking the piss.

I mean not really far apart. Not like status quo or anything. It won't necessarily work for you. You need to find your own pose - it's like having your colours done

I just tried standing with my feet apart (in flats) and imagined I was doing a presentation. Felt very wrong!

When I did presentation training at work, the trainer worked on each of us to find us a special "presentation stance" that worked for us - for the women, this meant looking bigger. But usually, more solid and bigger sideways - slightly more widely placed feet - so in fact a tiny bit shorter I suppose. Just not too narrow and apologetic looking, as if you are trying not to take up too much space. So heels would be irrelevant to that.

I can't see now who linked to sinologie, but its actually showing your name, address, past shopping history and more.

I'm short, and I've never had much of a problem. I never wear heels either, so I'm not sure what theory I prove or disprove.

DH has had to put up with many variations on my shoe industry rant over the years. I hate the fact that most women's shoes are not the right shape to fit a foot in. They often have heels, which are uncomfortable, painful, shorten my stride (which is already substandard) and damage my spine. They are often pointy, when human feet, particularly mine, are not pointy. I have squarish feet that do not like being squished.

If they are not high heels, they are often slip-ons. Slip-on shoes, for me at least, fall off, and cause you to scrunch your toes up to keep them on. Modern slip-on shoes do not usually come far enough up the foot to stay on. I have tried on ballet flats in shops and had my toes flip out of the front due to lack of anchorage.

Even flat shoes with an instep strap still leave a big chunk of the top of your foot open to the elements. They require you to wear appropriate, or no, socks or tights, unlike men's shoes.

There are some nice brogues around this season, but they look daft on my tiny feet.

I have two pairs of boots with riding-boot style heels, one pair ankle-high and one pair knee-high. The knee high ones are for smart occasions, and I feel they do work in place of heels.

Maybe they keep getting those great jobs and promoted and don't need to rely on a short arse man

I am sure I have read read about research that says tall women are more likely to be single. But there are many reasons why that might be....

I can only say that paper you read is mistaken, from my own experience, M

I have short hair. It suits me, because I have crap hair. Great legs, crap hair

AF, I read a research paper a few years ago (am tall by the way!). It may not be true though.

Anyway, I think that are possibly different pressures on tall women in terms of appearing feminine, and the way you have to modify your appearance are different to those that a short woman might have. I would never have short hair for example, because I think I have to tone down the intimidating impact of my tallness.

I have never had a problem either.

Quite handy as attracts the right men for me (ie not sexist aholes)

Men prefer short women ? Where did you get that idea Milly ?

I am very tall for a woman (5ft 10), and have not been short on offers over the years

Men love tall women, IME

I have a short friend who always says she feels undervalued and would love to be "tall and have a commanding presence"

Then again, I would love to be petite and not tower over half the men I meet

I think the only tall women who may struggle to find a partner are those who cannot accept a bloke that is smaller or of equal height to them. But let me tell you, it is not because blokes aren't interested...

Anyone who thinks they can't wear high heels due to them not fitting their feet, no problem you can have you deficiencies fixed!

Anyfucker

I disagree. I know my height works to my advantage in interviews. Height and slimness. They don't even look at my shoes.

Tall women are less likely to find a partner and less likely to have children because men generally prefer short women. It seems unlikely that women are going to succeed in the male dominated workplace by wearing heels to be taller, when many prefer shortness.

I think the preference of men for women in heels is to do with the other qualities of heels, and not because of an illusion of height.

hairshirts are soooo last season, dahling

I quite like the argument that some things aren't particularly feminist actions in themselves but we don't have to do feminist things all the time. So when I wear clothes that flatter my perfect hourglass figure I'm not going to tie myself in knots trying to argue that this is in fact a feminist thing to do - I think it's just a human being thing to do, in the context we live in - but I'm damned if I'm going to feel guilty about it! Being a feminist means you support women's liberation, it does not mean you have to wear a uniform.

the line (delivered with a certain amount of irony sometimes, depending on what you are talking about) 'you do what you have to to survive in the patriarchy' is a good one too I think.

Of course there are people with 100% integrity and consistency who do feminist actions whenever they get a chance, and I respect and admire them, but we don't all have to be them - we all have different ways to contribute to the struggle

I do buy from a site called netaporter or Liberty. Fashion stuff, sometimes expensive (but keep it for years). I do enjoy it. Like I enjoy good food, films or books.

I understand others don't, which is fine. But because it is a little bit connected with looks I suppose it can be seen as superficial, shallow or for men.

I don't feel the same about shoes, but I do about some other stuff

eg. make-up. I wear make-up regularly.

I wear clothes that flatter my figure (I have a good one and am proud of it) and although never very low-cut/revealing nor very short, could be considered to be alluring to men, I suppose.

Oh I know I went on about it

Most of my posts were trying to work out if I can be a feminist and wear heels. Feminist v fashion Angst!

And if there any others that feel the same.