Sorry, this is going to be long and probably ranty.
I have had one of my personal tutee students from the college in for my office hour this morning. She is 17 and a trainee veterinary nurse. She is beside herself with worry because she has found herself to be pregnant and has decided on trying to obtain an abortion without her parents finding out.
Among the things we discussed was how she came to be pregnant. It is part of my personal tutor duty to impart sexual health knowledge. Apparently, her boyfriend refuses to use condoms as he doesn't like them, claiming they are "passion killers". The student is not on the Pill for various reasons. I asked her as gently as I could why she does not refuse to have sex with him unless they sort out some sort of contraception - more suggesting that she should do this in future. She said that she tries, but once he gets excited it isn't fair to ask him to stop, and won't he get "blue balls" otherwise?
I was in full WTF mode. Where do boys get this bollocks from? However many years of sex education at school, and more subtly through TV programmes, and they are still talking like something out of the 70s. I remember our fab old school nurse in the 80s categorically telling us that "blue balls" were a myth, and that any man claiming that it hurt to stop was lying and taking advantage! Where do they learn this stuff - is it lads' mags? TV? Older brothers? It makes me so angry that women have moved on so much, and a large subset of men have not even taken the first step.