If you were raped would you report it?

actually slug thats the best idea wouldn't be amazing . maybe the first step is the sheer amount who are telling us on here tonight ... and last night etc ...

I sometimes wonder what would happen if every woman who had ever been raped and/or sexually assulted arranged to attend their local police station to report it at the same time. The queues would run for miles and might be a stark visual reminder, especially to the police, that it is a real and horrifically common problem.

I'm not personally that downhearted, although it is a depressing thread, I'm more sort of looking in and thinking how this thread might make others feel downhearted. Or something

Yes that's true as well.

This thread just feels very defeatist IYSWIM. I wish things were different.

Why did the police think that one of you was making it up? Did they say?

I can't believe they said that to you.

I reported it when it happened to me aged 16. Actually, no, that's a lie. My parents reported it on my behalf despite me begging them not to.

I was more worried that I would get into trouble as I had been out in a night club drinking. The situation itself didn't actually sink in until I had to go and be internally examined, standing on that white sheet like some dodgy criminal and then straight off to give video evidence about 10 mins from where it happened.

Apparently there had been 2 incidents that night, me and another young girl. According to the police, one of us was making it up...

It never went any further than that but I can remember thinking at the time, and even more so now that I wished my parents had let me deal with it my way (I know they were trying to protect me). There is no way on earth I would report it now if it were to happen. Absolutely no chance.

yes they might!

I remember some comments on a similar thread though - it's when people say that we are perpetually casting women in the victim role and saying there's nothing that women can do and it's all dooooooooom - those comments come up sometimes. And reading this I could see why people might come to that conclusion!

ISNT - interesting that you think people might peer in and think we've lost the plot. I would have thought peerers would think "blimey, maybe they've got a point, maybe this whole issue goes so much deeper than I had thought, maybe there's more to feminism than employment law and equal ops". agree it's incredibly depressing though.

This thread is terribly depressing.

At times like this I can understand why people peering into the feminist section think that we've all lost the plot. Because of course obviously the thing to do is report these crimes and obviously the police will take it seriously. And what kind of feminists are we to be seemingly discouraging people from reporting sexual assault?

Of course the reason that a lot of women become feminists in the first place is because of the low level everyday sexual abuse and the experience of serious sexual assault and rape. Many women on these pages have experienced these things which is in part why they are here - and as such they have experienced firsthand / followed many stories which show what reporting this type of crime achieves.

And based on that information, know that if it came to it, they probably wouldn't report.

This is why we need to work hard to bring about changes in the police and society so that it becomes obvious that rape must be reported, and everyone knows that the police will take it seriously, and be understanding, and that there's a good chance that the rapist will be locked up.

Yes Bue - it really is an amazing book and I'd recommend it to anyone.

Has anyone read Lucky by Alice Sebold? It's the memoir of her rape (which was the stranger in a dark park kind) and she did report it. The book showed how 'perfect' your case needs to be to have a hope of it being pursued and brought to court. Very discouraging, but it's an amazing book.

I didn't when I was a teenager as I knew they would laugh in my face - ex boyfriend, was happy to kiss him, rang him a week or so later as I wanted to talk about what had happened to try and understand it. So even though I knew that what he has done was wrong, and I called it "a sort of sexual assault" (it was rape but I was minimising), I did blame him but I knew it would go nowhere.

If it happened again I might report it anonymously, or on the proviso that I was giving them a name but I did not want it taken further.

Unless it was a violent stranger outdoors sort of rape and then I think that I would report.

As for vigilante action - it's just not going to happen is it. I'm a law abiding person and as much as I would fantasis about something horrible happening to him I wouldn't be able to really do it. And the men I know are law-abiding too, they don't go around kicking the shit out of people when I say the word. I'm not peggy mitchell

It's highly unlikely I would report. The chance of being sent to prison for reporting rape is too high.

Almost exactly what undertheboredwalk said.

Reporting it left me with more issues than not reporting it would have. It was horrific and handled badly but it would put me off reporting again. If it happened again I wouldn't becuase I think going through that process would tip me over the ede. It's bloody humiliating.

That said I would strongly encourage anyone who confided in me that they'd be raped to report and I'd go along and act as an advocate for them because if someone had done that for me and explained what was going on things might be different.

Double standards, yes, but I couldn't go through baring my body and my soul again only to be told that it's unlikely it would get anywhere because they couldn't prove he spiked my drink or that I didn't willingly climb into bed with him and consent to what he did to me and that my testimony would be worthless because I couldn't at the time remember anything clearly.

So, if only about 1 in 10 of rapes are reported, and police will only (or are more likly) pursue cases with two or three victims men have to rape 20 to 30 women before a chance of being convicted?

I feel like i need to add to what i said but i apologise in advance for being vague.

I was raped by a youth worker at a church i was a member of and although i didn't report it properly, i did tell the minister that this man shouldn't be left alone with young people. He didn't think there was anything to worry about and i was made to feel like i should leave the church. I haven;t been back. To any church.

I wonder if i had had a different reaction to that, if i would have reported the things that happened afterwards?

You should be very proud, GoldenCarp but it is just terrible that you had to go through all that.

This thread is very shocking and depressing.

"You should report it, even if you don't intend to go to trial, because at least then it will be on record that someone reported him and it might give the next person who he does it to more of a chance of getting a conviction"

littleaccountant is actually right.

Often police will not pursue cases where there has been one allegation of "date rape" (sorry- for want of a better description) for lack of evidence.

However once there have been two or three or more complaints made, these will form the basis for an overall investigation. This is why the rape cases that do get to court now frequently involve rapes of multiple victims.

I was and didn't report it. I was 15 at the time and just wanted to forget it. I'm glad I didn't now, though I do wonder if my silence caused anyone else to suffer

Goldencarp - that's brilliant. Gave me goosebumps when I read it.

The system is failing us, I'm so shocked by the woman who was sentenced for withdrawing her evidence.

No :( I couldn't face all that they put you through and knowing that finding someone guilty of rape is so unlikely, hardly seems worth it. I wouldn't even be able to face that now and it happened to me 15 years ago.

You have very right to be proud GoldenCarp.

what a profoundly upsetting thread. a hug of solidarity to each and everyone of you.