If you were raped would you report it?

Very, very, very depressing. Depressing article with a Swedish pov that brings up many interesting points.

represent

begony, I am afraid the DM does actually present the views of a large majoity of the UK population (in this arena)

shocking, but true, I think

I would only report in the cliched 'stranger who didn't use a condom - thus leaving DNA - and beat the living daylights out of me' scenario.

And only then as long as I was wearing suitably demure clothing at the time of the attack (a nun's habit, perhaps) and hadn't been walking home from anywhere unaccompanied after dark. And hadn't been on my phone or listening to my ipod. And hadn't implied (by looking at or talking to said stranger) that I was up for sex in any way.

Hmmm.

No, I wouldn't report it.

I realise that Isnt. Wonder what the true thought and opinions of the public are regarding this and not just the vile comments and views you read in the DM. Knowing how hard it is to come forward and face a court case (especially in his word against hers), I think that too many rapists get off. It must be so hard for jurors though coming to a decision based on all reasonable doubt.

Thing is that if you go to court with a rape claim, and the man is found not guilty, a very many people will believe that you were lying. I think that your life would be as ruined, or possibly more ruined, than the man who attacked you.

It is wishful thinking Isnt. And I doubt it would be worth it but you could make his life at the time very difficult with this hanging over him. Shame that's the way it is.

I think that's wishful thinking begony. One of DH's friends is widely thought/known to have raped someone, and it has had no adverse effect on his life whatsoever. No-one mentions it, his friends have not changed in how they deal with him, his job is fine, he has just got married, no problems.

I haven't been raped but probably like others wouldn't report it if was an acquaintance. I do think however that if you do manage to get it to court and even if he is found not guilty then there is a good chance you still get to screw up his life. He has to face his family, community and friends, many of whom will wonder if he is guilty, if it gets to court in the first place. People know that rape is so hard to prove and that 'not guilty' doesn't mean they didn't do it. Don't know if that is enough to make the pain and humiliation the victim would feel worthwhile.

I'd just come on to post that link Lenin!

Something has to be done about this.

What a sad thread.
I've just been talking to DP about it and said i probably wouldn't even though i know i should.

I don't think i could take the Police questioning and examination.
Nor the court ordeal....i can imagine the questions a Barrister would ask...the implications they would make.
I would be a nightmare...

'So MD,you never married your partner,why is that'?
Why is that sort of questioning appropriate?

You hear of so many unpleasant suggestions being made to the victim about her behaviour and habits.

grey

I am sat here in bits, you are all amazing ladies.
goldencarp I wanted to say to you that you did what I would like to think I could do if it happened to me again. I would want that anger/drive totake me forward and see me through the system.

I am so saddened by all this, alloverit it is 25 years for me just past it mid october 1985, not over it yet

I doubt I would report it tbh. I was assaulted by someone I used to babysit for when I was 15. I told someone - my husband - about it for the first time ever last week. I'm 38 now

I totally get what you mean that it can still stop you in your tracks mrspear - I only have to hear a certain song and a wave of sickness flows over me and I go cold. I was raped 18 years ago this month. You'd think it'd lessen with time, but it doesn't

I did report an assault BUT only because my mum bless her called the police before asking me - she has since many times apologied.

The police really try but they didn't have a clue - no real fosenics done nor exam until i went to doctor a couple of days later for sleeping tablets. So i doubt it would be any use but it may be linked and provide a pattern?

It was 11 years ago and pushed firmly away BUT it can still stop me in my tracks.

For many years i hoped he wouldn't be caught as the idea of court sounds like hell.

As for being common i believe i am only one of two victims that i know from many women from many walks of life

Thing is if they were all reported to the police, they would doubtless get some names coming up again and again and serial abusers would come to light.

there are potentially different levels of the same idea: a protest where everyone who had been raped/attacked/assulated had a placard with a simple statement of their experience eg "I was raped by my husband" etc. or a web-based one - a petition type one. I have a feeling one organisation has done it. It's hard to reach people though and get the mass sign up that the issue so clearly merits.

I've seen that idea come up on other forums slug. Sounds amazing, but I doubt that many victims could do it.

what an awesome idea for a campaign.

bloody hell slug, what an idea

the properly frustrating thing is when other women collude with the male viewpoint that women make it up, over-react or are asking for it by their behaviour/dress

you know, those types who see no harm in porn and prostitution and it's "just something men do" that takes nothing away from women

it drives me quite wild..have had to restrain myself on a thread very recently

there is also a female poster talking about "male urges" on one of the other similar threads to this, saying we should make allowances for them and that the sexual assaults thread is a mistake because all it does is paint men in a bad light