"What about the men that get raped?"

I heard on the radio today that students in Kent are going on an anti-racist march.

And I thought I wonder how many of the wotaboutthemenz brigade would say: "But why are they marchign against racism? Why don't they march about sexism/ anti-semitism/ homophobia/ the IMF/ water provision in the developing world/ animal rights/ insert cause here?"

Gah.

We cannot possibly know what the intention of this man was as none of us, apart from the OP, heard the actual conversation.

However it is very very common for feminists to hear the 'but I thought you believed men and women should be equal' ploy, used by people who wish to derail feminist discourse.

Often what people really mean when they say this is, what about the menz (and all that goes with that, i.e. shut up feminists).

Often people don't even realise that that is what they are doing as the idea that we should all be caring about the menz all the time is built into the very fabric of our society.

Hence why it pisses feminists off so much - it is everywhere.

You can be arrogant in a subtle way too. You don't have to spell it out.

And you can also pour scorn on a concept by a reductio ad absurdum, which I think is what this man was doing. (Trying to disprove the hypothesis by pointing out the absurdity of its conclusion, as he saw it.)

I agree with him

It is quite common to not know if feminism is about thinking men and women are equal, or about thinking women are better. He asked in what sounds to me a polite way - if he'd wanted to be rude he could have asked why the OP was so arrogant as to think women were more important, or something similar. He didn't.

How would you respond if a woman asked the same questions?

'I thought you believed men and women are equal..' Because of this part.

And you know that because?

Nah, it was a mocking question.

Sorry, but I think this is ridiculous. He asked a question. It sounds like a reasonable question to me and one I might have asked and thought about myself. A simple explanation like dittany gave would have been enough for me to realize why it's not appropriate for these two issues (rape of/domestic violence against men, and reclaim the night) should not be equated.

I just don't understand how you can assume he's stirred it or being arrogant.

I am not remotely surprised by someone saying 'I thought you believed ...' about any feminist topic. There are lots of myths about feminism around, good for him that this man asked for clarification.

I'd even be inclined to sympathise with the idea of a support group for male victims of rape being men-only, as some male victims might feel uncomfortable talking in front of women - and women who have been raped might feel uncomfortable about men being in their support group even if the men are also rape victims.

Yes, his impeccable logic grandly dismisses the systematic nature of rape when applied to women (along with the ever-present threat of it) which means that when it comes to it, we're not on an equal playing field.

I think you're right Mathanxiety. The suggestion made by one poster that the man might actually be a victim himself gave me pause for thought but the 'I thought you believed....' stuff is very clearly about trying to pick holes in the OP.

'"I thought you believed men and women are equal therefore Reclaim should be about men victims too"'

This is an attempt to trip up the OP using what he considers to be impeccable logic and reveals no support of the notion that men and women are equal.

good luck!

why is he complainning? is he really bothered about men rape? or he is just trying to ruin your night?

if he is really concerned find some leaflets and meetings for him to get some info, if he is trying to annoy you, tell him to get lost, that that is precisely the reason why women need a reclaim the night march.

by the way, most men rape happen in prison, rape is not about sex, it is about power and in the lack of woman, a rapist will rape another men, that is why is so important that woman reclaim power to themselves.

SSM - because some people think that women just don't have the right to organise and protest on their own behalf, on issues that disproportionately affect them, unless they protest on everyone else's behalf as well. We are simply not allowed to focus on ourselves. Unless that focus involves having our hair done, or nails painted or eating chocolate. We're encouraged to focus on ourselves, as long as that focus doesn't threaten the status quo or actually empower us. And then we'll be told we're empowered by a bloody haircut.

Yes SSM agree with that, good explanation.

I was looking at the Samaritans website recently and noticed they have a special campaign called 'Men on the ropes' addressing the fact that men often find it difficult to talk about depression.
Now, this seems entirely appropriate: it can be particularly difficult for men to open up about feelings, and addressing a specific campaign to this surely enables them to focus in a way that will make it more effective. It doesn't mean women don't suffer depression too, and some have trouble talking about it for the same reasons as men.

So why do some people find it so hard to see why women might want specific campaigns for issues that affect them? It doesn't deny the reality of the suffering of people of the other gender that suffer from the same problem.

Sparklerz quoted from the RTN website - "Men can support the Reclaim The Night march by joining the London Pro-Feminist Men?s Group solidarity demonstration."

I hope the men's march is attended by more than the 7 men who attended their event in support of Reclaim The Night last year, according to the website of the London Pro-Feminist Men's Group (which appears to be a men-only group).

I think that the campaigns against male rape and dv and female rape and dv are seperate but that there may be some scope for collaberation. This however doesn't seem to be one of them.

He sounds like a piece of work tbh. I wouldn't give his ignorance a second thought.

*women and men obv, not women and women