Why sexual abuse should be taken seriously...

Yes I think it was the other thread that was "irrational" but it's just people telling stories so I don't understand that really.

Yes wait and see later

What would your friend do in this case? Your post is not clear as to why you think it would be a bad thing if these children are reported to someone like your friend.

You seem to be saying that your friend would say it was harmless experimentation, and that he works in child protection. Is that right?

"Many boys and girls have their first sexual experience with friends or siblings, they play sexual games that would horrify adults."

Yes this is true I'm sure. However the experimentation happens with peers and is consensual. In this case a 13yo boy has been making his much younger sisters do things that they don't want to do. That's completely different.

Some strange views on here.

Is it seriously being suggested that many males do not have the ability to control their actions, that like toddlers thinking and acting are the same? That is cobblers. Men are perfectly capable of choosing whether or not to act on their urges, the same as women and children as they get older. If a man has an urge to sexually assault someone, and he acts on it, then he has committed a crime.

I can't believe that anyone is seriously saying that men cannot help but act on their urges

I am also concerned as to how a thread where people are simply relating their experieneces, ie talking about actual things that have actually happened to them, can be described as "irrational".

I agree with Larry.

I was sexually abused as a child over many years before someone says I don't understand it.

Someone close to me now works in an area of child protection and he thinks:

Many boys and girls have their first sexual experience with friends or siblings, they play sexual games that would horrify adults. It comes at a time when they are curious and confused.

It does not mean this boy will become a sexual predator. The boy and the girl now need to be protected. The boy must not be demonised and the girl must obviously be protected.

What happens to this boy now could make a great deal of difference to the path he takes and should be handled very carefully.

I think that it is acceptable to deal with this without SS, but I also think they know enough to help without over reacting.

school run, back later

thank you for talking things through

I am saying that they should be capable but that when they are not that is their fault not ours.

The lesson is that it is not about you. These people are deeply selfish.

For them, the lesson is that it should be about you. They should not be so deeply selfish in what is supposed to be a civilised society.

I don't get it either - what do you think your comments will add to the other thread?

Do you think if some people went around slapping strangers full in the face, it would be written off as "giving into urges"?

It could be a product of the society that we live in and there is no doubt that there is much awry with our society and it's treatment of women.

I haven't really thought this through other than it is how I live my life, but from an early age I read Desmond Morris (the whole Manwatching thing) and then later Freud etc in an attempt to get my head around sexuality.

From what I can see, some people just have not evolved past the stage of just taking what you want - much like the drakes ganging up on the female duck in the park.

How to treat sexual offenders - educate them.
How to treat victims - educate them.

It is a lesson in Biology.

I agree Elephants that the 'urges' are multilayered. And also about the consequences thing. Debt and obesity do have consequences for society as a whole but some people just blank that part out. Just as those who behave inappropriate somehow must blank out the bit about the consequences (to themselves as well IYKWIM).

Meant to say, the gendered nature of the crimes too, indicate that for some reason a lot more men feel entitled to behave in this way. We all have feelings and urges, if you put it down to that. But I bet you or I would never dream of risking upsetting or scaring or humiliating someone in the way that the perpetrators of these actions do.

I hear what you are saying Lenin, but the 'urges' will always be there. These things will keep happening. We can however minimise their impact on us. Not by trivialising them but perhaps by rationalising them to an extent. There is not a lot of rationality on that thread IYKWIM.