Sex Porn and Teenagers 8pm Monday 4/10 BBC Radio 4

I didn't "fight" the urge for sex. I was lucky enough to have boyfriends who didn't think it was a big deal, and we found a million other things to do apart from intercourse. I was worried about pregnancy, of course. Pregnancy for a teenager is a disaster, in most cases

I agree with you sunny, that not doing it casually might also be social conditioning. But the point here is that porn culture is definitely social conditioning. Two wrongs don'T make a right IYSWIM

Sakura - No my mum and dad just have only had sex with each other and say all the things you all say such as things were different in my day etc. When I mean dress me I mean my mum used to say you arent buying that its slutty, nice girls dont wear stuff like that, boys like it when you leave a bit to the imagination etc. As if people only dress for boys lol. Again just different generations.

I wanted lots of sex because I think when you hit 13 due to puberty its all you can think about personally. Its why at that age you start masturbating everyday and discovering who you are sexually. That is the reason and it is a hormonal thing. Some people fight it but some people dont see it as a big deal.

some

I think it is up to the parents to regulate what their internet has access to. Although each younger generation tends to be more computer savvy than the last.

I think so major protection is required rather than an opt of system maybe an opt in system it would reduce the access kids have to porn.

I think social conditioning massively influenced my teenage years, and I think it must be worse for girls today

'They never used to do it so casually.'

Well I think that really we are mammals and what we are programmed to do. Not doing it casually is probably because they have been brainwashed in to thinking their biological urges are abnormal due to religions and societal expectations. Again it all depends on how you view sex.

Society is forcing this on both girls and boys, society is allowing it. Society is not kicking up a fuss about shag bands, society is condoning it, just as it is condoning the pornification of culture. It is society that is forcing these things rather than individual boys or girls.

" My mum used to dress me in the most ridiculous non sexy clothes ever I wasnt allowed to wear strappy tops, heels or skirts above knee length until I was 16 lol. "

Sunny, did your mum have control issues? DO you think that's why you were so keen to have lots of sex?
I mean, after about the age of nine I would choose my own clothes. BUt I used to sneak out in different clothes because a) I didn't want to be given the third degree about where I was going and b) I didn't want to parade sex in front of their face- I'm not talking strappy tops and heels, I'm talking tops with no back, sheer see-through tops, pop socks that stopped below the skirt etc.

Sakura - I just mean my mum and dad used to worry about these things to so made me wear certain covered up clothes and have to be in hours early. I wasnt allowed to go to boys houses, underage nightclubs etc (I had to be in at 8.30 every night until I had left school). It still didnt make a blind bit of difference I had sex, underage drank and did everything parents worry about now.

"It doesnt make a slightest bit of difference ime they will still probably do it."

they will only do it, because it has become the social norm to do it, they feel peer pressure, because their friends are all talking about it, showing each mobile phone porn, talking about stick it up your bum and busy buying the latest colour shag band. They never used to do it so casually. They have been conditioned to see it as the norm.

vezzie - the thing is I dont see that any of this stuff is just a benefit to men. I love porn, webcams, having sex from young age etc. I dont think its something that boys force girls in to. Most girls want to do it as it is a biological urge and what we are made to do. I dont tie all these societal things up in to sex. I think many young people make the decision to have sex because they want to and should be educated on protection/pregnancy however. However I hate the way girls are guilt tripped in to thinking if they have sex young or dress in a certain way they arer not a nice girl or they have low self esteem etc. Its like saying a girl doesnt know her own mind only if a boy says this is what we are doing.

Its not my experience at all. Of course there are people that get pushed in to sex but its a parents job to teach them if they dont want to do it then they dont have to. I have never been forced in to sex by anyone but I am sure on stats I would be portrayed as a girl who was forced in to these things by boys.

vezzie I agree with your post

*sunny" "I am just saying things that could make the parents feel better."

What does this mean? Could you elaborate?

Sakura - Thats what I said before imo there is no point intrying to stop teens just to educate them. I am just saying things that could make the parents feel better. My mum used to dress me in the most ridiculous non sexy clothes ever I wasnt allowed to wear strappy tops, heels or skirts above knee length until I was 16 lol. It doesnt make a slightest bit of difference ime they will still probably do it.

stewiegriffinsmom - She wasnt humiliated at all. All 4 of her siblings got pregnant at 15 and her mum. She was desperate to be a young mum from when we were very young. A lot of teen mums I know did it because their parents and brothers and sisters have all done it. Also it is very hard to be able to afford to move out here as its a low wage area with very high rents so it will get you a better standard of living than working in a minimum wage job.

Yes the 'pushy gils' image is just as much a form of control as the 'passive girl' image. It is like Sakura said once before, when she said something like "you wanted equality, well here it is shag bands and double anal"

"I think it is up to a parent if they dont want their teen to be dressed in revealing clothes or lots of make up. It is up to a parent to regulate what a child wears."

I used to leave the house with my jeans on and a top. Then, I would go behind the bushes/shops with my friend, take them off, revealing they scantily-clad clothing on underneath, and get back changed at the end of the night before one of our dads came to pick us up.
Sunny, you don't know any of the teen tricks do you

Sunny, you are arguing that all of these things are harmless, ?didn?t turn you into a deviant?, etc. Yet, I significantly disagree with you on many issues that are very important. We have significantly differing values systems (in many, not all, respects). I think it?s arguable that a complex web of influences, sexual and otherwise, all things which are normal to you, is part of what has contributed to you being such an ardent defender of a societal status quo which I believe has a lot wrong with it.

'sunny, those two girls you know who lied about rape. Perhaps they didn't lie, but were coerced into doing something they weren't comfortable with?'

No they were really old. One was 30 and one was 24. The first one lied to get revenge on the man getting off with her best mate as we were all in forces and she thought it would mean he wouldnt get promoted. She later admitted she made it up though when they asked to pass it to the civvy police. Everyone knew she made it up anyway as she said when she was drunk because she tried to punch the other girl in the face and admitted it then. She was a bit weird anyway.

The other one came back to a party on a night out took some MDMA then started acting weird. Got a taxi home on her own but then phoned the lad in the morning and accused this lad of raping her even though we were all there and he hadnt left the room all night. He also met her in the room it was a bedsit flat and he hadnt even gone outside. She rang the police but again dropped charges the next day. I think she just was on a very strange comedown.

The "pushy girls" image is yet another male fantasy, isn't it. Along with the "passive girl" image. All strands of the same

I think that if you dont want to access porn then they shouldnt be able to go on the internet in their rooms, they also should definitely not be allowed their own laptops or computers and they shouldnt be able to do homework on the computer if they are not in the same room as you.

Ladybiscuit - I havent seen the programme but I still think that thinks havent changed that much in recent years. Sex was still all anyone ever talked about at school regardless of what clothes were in fashion or not having regular access to net.

I think it is up to a parent if they dont want their teen to be dressed in revealing clothes or lots of make up. It is up to a parent to regulate what a child wears.

Even so regardless many teens will still have sex and its more important to educate them about reducing the chances of pregnancy and protecting against STDS imo. If they dont tell you about it they will probably just do it and you wont know. Just like I was with my parents and most of my peers were too.

This 'pushy' girls image, as if it is empowering, is the same image that lapdancing is empowering. This is what is intended. It is the sexualisation of young women and leads to their objectification by men.

yes, it's called statutory rape