Okay so after bleating on about this I actually watched porn.....

Butterfly I don't get what you mean by "if you're not at a point in your life where you see a need..." can you explain this more?

BTW the porn I watch tends to be the "amateur" style stuff where the sex is quite realistic and not rough. The rough animalistic type stuff does nothing for me, and I can see how many would object to that.

Thanks for those links, Dittany, they were an eye-opener.

Sorry to be a pain with this but do you think porn is inherently wrong? As in, if the industry was properly regulated and the women were physically safe, would you still object to it as strongly?

I've read a few of the posts on that discussion and to be honest I find them a bit weird. I feel like a total misfit given what the arguments were. If someone chooses to have sex on film, what's wrong with that? I have recorded myself having sex, and while I wouldn't sell it, I am not ashamed of it and I enjoy watching it. I don't have any hangups about my body and see sex as a fun activity that other people can participate in (I have had threesomes in the past). Many of the women commenting on the violence of porn haven't actually seen porn. BDSM porn is pretty rare as most men aren't actually turned on by pain.

Is there evidence that a lot of porn is non-consensual? I have watched a lot of porn and while it's very obvious that in some films the woman is acting (and not very well at that) I have never seen one where it seems like she is distressed or trying to get away. I know there have been a few high profile incidents of filmed rape, but needless to say this is a crime whereas porn is a job. If you don't want to do it then do something else.

I think I am in the minority also when I say that I have no objection whatsoever to Nuts and the like. The women in those magazines have chosen to be photographed and men get pleasure out of it, it's a transaction between two grown adults so what's the problem?

Thanks butterfly I'll have a look

Interesting thread.

I'd recommend Shelley Lubben's work as well. She's an ex porn actress who now campaigns against the industry. She has a website and several talks on youtube. It's powerful and quite distressing stuff.

She said that you say you're enjoying in whilst you're working in the industry (a form of Stockholm Syndrome).

It's not pleasant to hear what she has to say and she's up against a multi-billion dollar industry, which makes her even more brave.

It is a little bit like saying "I need to try cocaine so I know what I am refusing".

I hope this doesn't sound horribly naive and I am genuinely asking, what's the problem with porn?

I suppose I'm in an unusual position in that I really like porn whereas my husband doesn't. He never watches it whereas I do from time to time. I don't like the slick hollywoodesque stuff as it's too full of fake boobs and oily skin but I do like "amateur" stuff which is usually staged but in a more realistic manner.

What exactly is the problem with porn? If someone chooses to be a porn actor is it a requirement that they feel ashamed of it? Is that because being sexual is wrong for women? I know a lot of people cite the fact that women do it to feed a drug habit, but look at George Michael in jail for doing drugs, that doesn't mean the music industry is degrading, it just means that some high profile people have a drug problem. The mainstream film industry can be just as tough and unfair as the porn industry in the sense that it is filled with insecurity and rejection. Being a doctor can be horrible, as can being a teacher, but this doesn't mean the profession is inherently wrong, it just means some of the practices within it aren't people-friendly. A lot of people put up with rubbish working conditions because they need a job and money. I'm sure if I wrote an expose about one job in particular that I had (in a caring, well respected role) it would horrify you what I had to put up with.

So is porn special for some reason?

friend of mine said he liked homemade porn for that reason - they actually like each other and enjoy the sex and it shows...

i wouldn't know myself, happy to remain ignorant.

There was a whole series on porn on channel 4 in about 2005. There was one show which was about an outbreak of HIV in the LA porn community and it was, without a doubt, one of the most depressing things I've ever watched. They interviewed one woman who had been infected while filming the first ever film she'd done. She had grown up in foster homes in canada, decided to go to LA and become a pornstar, earn a lot of money and then go home. In the first film she did, she had to be "double penetrated" and one of the men involved had gotten infected somehow and passed it on to her.

Maybe see if you can get hold of it online and show it to him - shows how degrading the porn industry can be, even for the more "consenting" side of the industry.

You could also check out (careful, links not worksafe though not blazingly in your face offensive)Anna Span or Petra Joy both of whom talk about wanting to make porn that appeals to women and, you know, starting from the viewpoint that there isn't anything wrong with wanting to watch sexually arousing material as long as it's made by consenting adults.