is it a large american chairty?
your points are good but i would also send an annotated version of their article poitning out a few things eg - :
When Mommy's miles away
-we are all in uk and most of us are mum/mummy. we have been mothers for some time and really do know the "basics". -
IN BRIEF: If you are a working mom who travels, you're probably riddled with guilt.
- no not at all. i work to contribute to my family and we are all very happy with this arrangement -
And although you've laid out schedules, cooked meals, orchestrated back-up plans and drilled emergency numbers into every family member's memory, you still have guilt gnawing at your conscience and impending goodbyes twisting your gut.
-no not really. we all support each other. no schedules needed as my husband [or the nanny - some of us are single parents relying on paid help] ] is perfectly capable of looking after the household in my absence. he does not leave schedules/cooked meals etc when he goes away - so why should I? -
A few simple ideas can help your children (and your hubby!) get through those lonely and stressful days without you.
- they are neither lonely nor stressful. they manage just fine for a few days -
Prepare your family in advance. Don't spring it on them at the last minute. Tell your family, particularly your children, well in advance that you are going away for a while. If your children are very young, mark off the dates when you will be leaving and returning on a calendar. Also show them where you'll be going on a map or pictures of the place, and chat to them about what you will be doing there
- as you know, travel for this organization is usually one/two/five days to a UK location - we are not talking about traks to theAndes... it is patronising to suggest i might disappear without telling my family where and for how long i am going. -
Prepare meals in advance.
-see above. there is no need -
As a child who had to eat greasy, corner-shop hamburgers for three days straight (barring breakfast, of course) while my mom had to go to hospital, I'm begging you: please prepare meals in advance and freeze them. Munching on mommy's meals will remind them of how much you love them, and won't put them off hamburgers for life!
-clearly the author has a Big Problem around food. and perhaps in his 1950s childhood "mom" did indeed do all thecooking. but we are in 2010. I can assure you that in my home, both mother and father are equally capable of cooking nutritious and simple hoem emals, whether pasta and pestto or a roast chicken. mc donalds are strictly once a month for good behaviour and this doesnt change when one of us is away. moreover, in worst case scenario, Tesco's finest does a fine range of ready meals which beat your grissly burger. -
Write everything down. Write down important arrangements, appointments, emergency names and numbers.
- as an efficiently run household all important arrangements are already in our weekly diary. -
Also make a copy of your itinerary and the name of the place you will be staying at, with the room and telephone number. Leave these documents in a central place and make sure everybody knows where to find it
- of course. quite sensible advice. with modern communication it is hard to "disappear" -
Leave little love notes. These are great for husbands and children. Slip a little "I love you" or "I miss you" into a lunch box or under a pillow, it's always nice to hear
- yuck. we dont do love notes in our family. each to their own. please dont try and dictate how families should demonstrate their love for each other -
Keep in touch. Technology has made it so much easier to stay in touch. So use your cell to phone home or send an email. If you have a web-cam, you can even send a little virtual kiss. Alternatively, there are many free e-cards available online
-quite. thanks. -
Record yourself. This is particularly great for young children (and, once again, for husbands!). Record yourself reading your child's favourite bedtime story. Your child will love turning the pages to your voice while you're away. You could also leave little recorded (tape or video) messages for each day you'll be gone
- again, a lovely idea but see above - you dont send us to afghanistan, you tend to send us to norwich. my husband is quite capable of reading the bedtime story -
Hide some treasures. Also great for the whole family. Hide some gifts, chocolates, notes or tapes before you go. Leave a treasure map or send hints via email or SMS. You could also give them hints when you talk to them on the phone
- nice idea if it is a birthday party but this comes across as patronising. who has the time to organize a love trail every time they go on the work trip to norwich? -
Make arrangements for important events. If you're going to miss an important event, make an arrangement to see it one way or another. Ask your husband to tape it for you, or request for example, that you go to a rehearsal or practice session
- again quite sensible advice but fits in the "teaching grandmother to suck eggs category" -
Ask your child to pack a personal reminder. Whether it's a drawing, a toy or a photo of the two of you together, your child will love the idea of packing something that will remind you that he or she is at home waiting for you.
- actually my children will be too busy having fun, but again, while nice idea, it isnt exactly novel - my workaday handbag is always full of reminders of my children, from scribbled paper, to bogey filled tissues, to scrunched up reminders from school about nits -
It will also make the hotel room a little warmer
- no the hotel room will be warmer with extra duvet. as you can appeciate, the hotel will be a lovely opportunity to have a big double bed all to myself with out childrens legs and elbows and midnight calls from the one who needs the toilet/had a nite mare. bliss!! -
Little reminders that you love them will make the time pass quicker.
- i will be far too busy working - or enjoying some free time to read a book in peace. please dont worry about me. -
And if you've ever felt under-appreciated or haven't yet received that medal for being a doing-it-all mom, be assured that you will feel the appreciation the second you walk through the front door.
- frankly, i never feel under appreciated. nor do i need a medal for being a paid up member of society. i do not need to be patronised. and the second i walk thru the door it will be lovely but full on "mummmeeee i need a poo!"
"mumee can i have a ....." "mummmeeee she hit me!"