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Original poster

working mothers

135 replies

novicemama · 10/09/2010 10:02

The company I work for is signed up with 'wellbeing works' - this is part of our 'benefits' and there are helplines you can use etc. Every week they send out an email, usually with articles about health, stress in the workplace, your workplace rights etc. I have already had to complain to them once this year about an article entitled 'Rape: don't become another statistic' warning women not to drink too much or give off mixed messages to male colleagues in the pub Hmm

Now today I see [[http://eu.healthinsite.net/ContentViewerPane/ContentViewerPane.aspx?cookie=2100001605&Content=5914&ContentType=2
this little gem]] about working mothers and how to deal with having to spend nights away from your family.

I don't know where to start really, there are just SO MANY things in there that make my blood boil. Would anyone like to kick off? And any input into the complaint email I'll be sending this afternoon would be welcomed too!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2010 14:03

yes, it sounds like they say the right things in response but not much is actually done...

Original poster
novicemama · 10/09/2010 14:02

WRT the rape article which I mentioned earlier, my email to them was as follows:

--------

I want to complain about an article in this week?s ?wellbeing works? about date rape.
The headline you used is: Date Rape: don?t become another statistic and the article goes on to tell women what they should do to avoid being raped.

I think it would be more welcome in this day and age to stop focussing on how women should modify their behaviour in relation to this terrible crime. Women?s behaviour is not what is the problem here ? it is the behaviour of a small minority of men which is the issue. Women who are raped are victims of a crime and do not need to be made to feel guilty that it may be somehow ?their fault? because they had a drink after work or walked home from the tube station on their own in the dark. If the streets are not safe for women because ill-intentioned men might be lurking, I would suggest it is therefore men who should be careful how much they drink, ensure people know where they are, and arrange to be accompanied home late at night so as to keep the streets safe for entirely law-abiding women to go about their business.

Perhaps instead you could run an article aimed at men entitled: No means no: don?t become another statistic warning them that it?s not acceptable to force yourself onto a female colleague just because she is drunk and her guard may be down, and that such behaviour could and should land them with a jail term.

I?d appreciate a response with your thoughts on this.

--------

Their response was:

Thank you for your comments on the article ?Date Rape: don?t become another statistic?.

You make an excellent point and we will most certainly modify the article.

--------

I don't know if they ever did modify the article actually but at least they respond to my emails...

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2010 13:59

what did they say about the rape one?

Original poster
novicemama · 10/09/2010 13:59

OOH i have had a response as follows:

Thank you for your email. With reference to the complaint relating to the article ?When Mommy?s miles away? please accept the following points:

  1. We sincerely apologise for offending you.
  2. The intent of this article is certainly not to perpetuate any of the assumptions that you have listed.
  3. The use of the terms ?Mommy? and ?Hubby? is not evidence of this article being copied from an American source. The article is an original piece of work that was developed by our psychology writer in response to a user request. However, we do recognise that these terms are not commonly used in the UK and we apologise for that.

I have requested for the article to be removed from the site.

----------

Removed from the site = a good thing but I have still raised it with my HR dept anyway. But overall quite Smile about that response

OP posts:
ISNT · 10/09/2010 13:53

Not to mention anyone with the temerity to be edam....

Bleedin eck. Top complaint OP! What did they say when you complained about their terribly helpful rape article?

PosieParker · 10/09/2010 13:38

Incredible, words fail me.

edam · 10/09/2010 13:36

Presumably any single mothers would be screened out at interview and anyone who divorces or separates during employment is sacked...

ullainga · 10/09/2010 13:34

AllarmBells, I guess they have the same logic as news stands with their labels like "Sports and Fitness", "Computers", "Business", "current Affairs" and..."Women's interests". As women are of course not interested in anything besides gossip and make-up..

caramelwaffle · 10/09/2010 13:30

Why do they assume that working mother's have "hubbys" at home anyway ?

AllarmBells · 10/09/2010 13:28

thanks ladybiscuit :)
ullainga depressing isn't it?!

That newsletter was one of a list of topics you could choose from (I work in IT): Systems, Storage, Architecture, IT Management, Women in Business....there weren't any apparel or recipe tips in any of the others.

ullainga · 10/09/2010 13:24

CrackFox well of course, it's not like i would leave small kids home alone! (with their father)

ullainga · 10/09/2010 13:20

allarmBells , I had a similar experience. new magazine out, advertised as about and for successful businesswomen..

and yes, the whole magazine was about dressing and make-up tips and all articles about successful women discussed their choice of lipsticks (really!) and how they manage the family and housework. Unbelievable.

The darn thing didn't even burn properly..

TheCrackFox · 10/09/2010 13:15

I think if you are going to go away for an entire week then you really have to do the decent thing and have your mother move in to take over the entire operation. On no account could a man be left in charge that long. Wink

LadyBiscuit · 10/09/2010 13:15

AllarmBells :o

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2010 13:14

Maybe when you're working away you could pack all the ingredients and a camping stove so you can spend your time away productively creating homemade meals for nrxt time you are away. That also resolves the guilt issues of having some time to yourself - you will be spending it to the benefit of the family.

AllarmBells · 10/09/2010 13:14

edam yes you are quite right, another crappy cut and paste from American drivel.
I wouldn't exactly describe a chat over webcam as a "virtual kiss"...

I signed up for a Women in Business email newsletter once, not sure why....the email itself looked OK but when you followed the links they were obviously computer-generated links to American stuff from 2002 about "how to dress for success" etc. "Always wear pantyhose!"

It was complete crap but I couldn't be bothered to unsubscribe UNTIL one week the main article was "Ten Things To Do With An Avocado". What, in the office? Stick it up ten idiots' arses?

notquitenormal · 10/09/2010 13:11

A whole week away? You need to do more than schedules. You need to employ a crack team of logistic professionals and arrange for a resident psychotherapist to provide vital emotional support.

Anything less and you wont be able to cope with the guilt.

ullainga · 10/09/2010 12:58

I just read this and my eyeballs popped out. I'm not often speachless but..wow.

Grin at "feckin' treasure hunt"

Hm actually I have a week-long business trip coming up next week. Guess I better start making schedules and to-do list for DH and freezing meals so they would not have to eat hamburgers, the poor things.

DH would think I've totally lost it Grin

LadyBiscuit · 10/09/2010 12:57

I have to go to Buckinghamshire to a training centre next week. I think I will sit my DS down this evening and start preparing him for the experience. I'm sure I could put together a slide show of the venue and local area :)

sethstarkaddersmum · 10/09/2010 12:51

Cestlavie - rofl @ '- actually my children will be too busy having fun, but again, while nice idea, it isnt exactly novel - my workaday handbag is always full of reminders of my children, from scribbled paper, to bogey filled tissues, to scrunched up reminders from school about nits - '

quite!

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 10/09/2010 12:44

OMG Novice, that is fucking hilarious.

Brilliant complaint, can't add a thing. I'm too busy giggling.

JudgeJudithSheindlin · 10/09/2010 12:39

Could you imagine asking for a day off to cook meals for the freezer, prepare love notes and a feckin' treasure hunt?

StarlightMcKenzie · 10/09/2010 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/09/2010 12:16

lolol 'you don't send us to Afghanistan, you tend to send us to Norwich'

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2010 12:10

Plus mark a line on your favourite bottle of whiskey so you will see if the little woman has been drinking it in your absence