Telling your daughter to "marry a rich man"

I've told mine to aim for a fulfilling and financially self-supporting career AND to find a partner with the same.

Fingers crossed I've ticked all boxes

I've said similar to my DD in jest (but secretley mean it). Not that she isn't academic, because she is, 'when you are a top this marry a top that so you won't struggle'. Its just a bit of gentle guidance rather than get saddled with a lazy sponger.

'I would be worried about him saying that his DD is not academic though.'

Maybe she isn't. Perhaps she struggles with numeracy and literacy and reading and finds the daily stress of having to try and be academic at school a daily nightmare.
Perhaps she loves the fact that her dad isn't saying 'Well, we'll get you a tutor for a couple of hours a week and do Kumon and have you assessed and and and then you'll be an academic child I can be proud of.'

Yes, telling her that the answer to her possible future fears is to marry a rich man is shallow and limiting. There are better alternatives. But I'd rather his levity than some of the god-awful pressurised parenting I see from some mothers.

My mum is always telling me I should marry a rich man. Even when I was little I remember saying things like "Mummy, when I'm grown up and I marry a millionaire I'll buy you a big house." It's funny actually because I seem to attract men with money while actually not caring that much. Ambition and passion mean more to me. So I probably wouldn't go for someone who sat around not being arsed to get a job but it wouldn't be the fact they were skint that put me off.

She even bought me a mug though the other day with a hideous cartoon woman on it, which says "Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are just better off rich!" I hate it. If it wasn't for the fact that I can't bear to waste anything useable I'd be tempted to "accidentally" break it.

My mum is lovely but her feminist principles are sadly lacking. We have illuminating conversations about my grandad though who is one of the most blatantly sexist people I know, while being totally oblivious to it himself. Gems include "Oh I find the good old 'yes dear' shuts them up! Ha ha ha!" and proclaiming to find female voices irritating because they are too high. I think my Grandma must have been a saint!

All these jokes rack up though don't they. Realised a while ago that for girls "who will you marry?" takes up some of the space that "what will you do when you grow up?" should occupy.

I mean I always thought about what job I would do etc, but also gave quite a bit of thought to "will i marry someone with a big house/a top-notch human rights lawyer ()/someone whose career will take us round the world?". Because the idea that the husband's status dictates the wife's lifestyle (see J Austen) is still with us IMO.

I've a feeling that it was probably a joke. I sometimes say that I should have married a rich man when I get home from a long day and don't have much money (only one more year til I qualify and have more yippeee!)but I don't really mean it. I wouldn't swap my DH for a millionaire.

I would be worried about him saying that his DD is not academic though.

guessing the woman was his dw...
if it wasn't a joke then that's bad

i say it to my kids boys and a girl all the time - in jest but mean it really.

my eldest is shacked up with a wc girl my youngest is seeing a wc girl too - just hope that dd keeps her head on and factors mney into the equation.

i think that is quite different from saying that your thick so marry a rich man, or from saying that your daughter need to marry rich becuase she can't earn her own riches.

i do however think that its a factor to consider - yes seriously. go for someone with a bit of money - amongst other things ( big dick, considerate trustworthy etc)

I'd be more angry that a father told his daughter she wasn't academic, like he knew everything and it was a done deal so she shouldn't try any more.

The rich man bit is pretty shallow but perhaps the whole thing was said in jest.

But then my dad used to believe that educating women and "wasting university " on them was a waste of his taxes because all they did was go off and have babies anyway.

Somehow the world keep breeding ignorant tossers, no matter how many years pass!