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Original poster

The word 'feminism'

32 replies

LackingInspiration · 18/08/2010 15:55

I've just realised that I'm really angry with my DH about something. Even though I praise my husband for being wonderful and believing strongly in women's rights, and to all intents and purposes being a feminist, when I told him the other day that I'd love to be able to join a feminist discussion group, he said 'I bet you would - slagging of men and saying how crap your husbands are would be just your cup of tea'! ShockSad

WTF do you say to that? He's an amazing man, I promise. Is it really that the word 'feminist' just instinctively gets people's backs up? It's not like I haven't talked to him about feminism before. I hope he was joking! He does like to say that all I do with my friends is drink tea and slag off our husbands Hmm, but I didn't realise he thought that that was what feminism was.

What's humanism? How's it different to feminism? Should we be adopting it?

OP posts:
msrisotto · 18/08/2010 16:10

I thought women didn't like using 'lesbian' because, unlike 'gay', you have to say "I'm A lesbian" which is kinda like saying "I'm A gay" - sounds like an alien species or something.

LeninGrad · 18/08/2010 16:07

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Original poster
LackingInspiration · 18/08/2010 16:07

Re. your second post - I agree. The only way to change things is to talk about them openly and honestly - euphemisms are not helpful.

But is feminism actually accurate? What does it mean compared to humanism? Feminism does kind of suggest that it is solely about women...what are you called if you oppose racism? Or homophobia?

OP posts:
foreverastudent · 18/08/2010 16:05

I've heard some women use the term 'womanism' as they think feminism is too dominated by white women.

Original poster
LackingInspiration · 18/08/2010 16:04

I don't know, Lenin. He works in a very misogynist environment, so possibly.

Trouble is, I do slag him off to my friends - that's how he sees it. I see it as letting of steam so that when he comes home I'm not mean to him as usually my gripes are unfair IYSWIM. My close friends indulge in the same activity. e.g. "It's so irritating that Dh never changes the loo roll/neatens the cushions blah blah blah". No way would I say this to him - how mean would that be if he'd just busted a gut tidying up and I said he'd done it all wrong?

However, I have explained this to him ad nauseum, so now it is just a joke to us - 'did you have a nice time at X's today? What did you moan about about me and MrX?'.

I'm just very Shock that he thinks that that is what would happen at a feminist group - it makes me wonder if it's what he thinks feminism is - hating men.

OP posts:
LeninGrad · 18/08/2010 16:02

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LeninGrad · 18/08/2010 15:59

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