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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Traps For Women & Girls

307 replies

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 18/08/2010 15:41

I've been thinking about how a lot of the time it is impossible for a woman to win when it comes to choices.

For example, it seems that everyone is very keen for mothers to stay at home, especially those with small children (should say that this is second hand, I have no DC yet). Public opinion, childcare costs, media etc all make clear that that is the right choice.

And yet when they do they become expected to do all the housework (even at weekends), vulnerable to charges of being lazy, "ladies who lunch", overprotective etc.

And if they work part-time they are often seen as uncommitted at work, and still have all the downsides of being SAHM.

Or if you wear make-up and heels some people will judge you as a bimbo, but if you wear a t-shirt and jeans and trainers, then you are probably depressed or a lesbian (nothing wrong with being gay, just a stupid judgement to make on appearance alone) or not making "enough" effort.

Was wondering if anyone else had examples of being caught in these kind of traps?

OP posts:
Malificence · 18/08/2010 16:34

Perhaps if all of you stop caring what other people think of you, it wouldn't all be such a struggle?
I've never felt discriminated against or inferior because I'm a woman, I know I'm equal to anyone else, male or female and that's how we've brought up our 20 year old daughter, she has the innate confidence and self esteem not to be tied down by labels.

It annoys me that pressure to conform is seen as a purely female thing when it's obviously not.
Women are the worst for putting pressure on other women too, I've heard far more anti-feminist tripe from (mostly older) women than from men.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 18/08/2010 16:18

supposed to go along with porn-culture, be cool with partners watching porn etc - but if you are into it or like unusual sexual practices you are "dirty".

OP posts:
withorwithoutyou · 18/08/2010 15:58

Yes!

Pushed hard to do well at school by my parents. Badgered all through university by them about what I was going to do with my life.

Ended up with a well paid career - got pregnant, my Dad told me I couldn't expect to carry on working.

Went back part-time, just had DC2 and found out I'm going to be made redundant.

Planning to stay at home til DD1 goes to school but my parents seem to think I should be rushing out to get another job!

colditz · 18/08/2010 15:57

Being female.

It really does end there.

You are supposed to be accomodating, assertive, sexy, modest, nurturing, independant, reliable, exciting, beautiful, low maintenance, slim, not a fussy eater, feminine, one of the lads, work focussed, child focussed.

And when we cannot emobdy all that it means to be a woman, we fail.

We are women, therefore we fail.

LeninGrad · 18/08/2010 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad · 18/08/2010 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foreverastudent · 18/08/2010 15:50

the virgin vs slut insults teenage girls have to put up with

younger vs older mums

when you are with a violent partner you are either stupid to stay or a homewrecker/scrounging single parent if you leave

homebirth vs c-section

a bitchy ballbreaker if you're assertive or a doormat if you're compromising

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