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Original poster

we have a problem in our book club

136 replies

hermykne · 05/06/2008 14:55

to kinda sum up, one member is not as literary as the rest of us, i am trying to explain this without sounding snobby but certain words are needed to explain this proble,

she always arrives late and so misses the "book" review.
she has read maybe 2/3 books out of the 16/18 we have done. she hasnt even read the awful ones she picks.

she is very confrontational, when points are raised or opinions about the "book" or general chit chat.

its really annoying, it changes the whole ambiance to the evening, last one 3 of us went home furious with her.

i would say she is naive and this doesnt help and shes protecting her ability to be considered a book reader by being so defensive.

anyway one member W sent a txt to another (Z) asking if the problem re her (U) attendance had been solved - text to all nxt event is on X and one must have read the book to attend-

receiver of txt (Z) replied and sent it to our problem member instead (U), stating yes and maybe she'll read the book.

so Z and U had a talk and she was defensive as usual

what to do
we are having a summer recess as some of the other memebrs just cant listen to her silliness for much longer, and these are older members, she is our youngest.
so

OP posts:
morningpaper · 05/06/2008 17:00

perhaps you could have a Chair each time, and make sure that the Chair keeps a very firm reign on proceedings

stroppyknickers · 05/06/2008 16:57

As your OP is full of grammatical and spelling errors, I suspect you are not quite as 'literary' as you believe . Cut her some slack fgs and just keep the subject on the book.

morningpaper · 05/06/2008 16:54

she is obviously miserable and has a crap life and wants to get out of the house and have some friends

Do you have a structured session? With questions and stuff? How does she respond? What about an intense 30-minute book-only rule??

LIZS · 05/06/2008 16:45

I used to belong to a book group - people dipped in and out as and when , didn't always get around to reading the book but came anyway, weren't always on time, often the book discussion was brief and then we nattered but we managed somehow. How about a film night related to one of the books you've discussed (but perhaps that would n't that be deemed erudite enough) or themed food to accompany a choice.

tbh she sounds lonely but if the majority really don't enjoy her company at these events maybe you should be direct about it and ask her not to come any more, rather than behaving so underhandedley.

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 16:36

i thought you insightful gals might come up with tactful ideas about how to keep the club interesting and book orientated and encouraging to those who might it challenging...

OP posts:
Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 16:24

Are you all members of books clubs?

Do you read the book chosen?
If not why not?

Do you arrive continually late thus avoiding the book review session/discussion

MP this is a club of 7 girls and 6 of those 7 have had enough. Is that not fair enough to say? I am not a witch at the school gate.

I am not being snobby by saying the majority and i am not the front runner in this annoyance in our club, there are 3 others whho are fed up with her in the club. Its felt that she gets nothing from it. she does not read the books and nearly every session we have after shes had a few glasses of wine how bad her marriage is , how hard work her kids are, how X her sister is, its post mortem of her life every 5 weeks and thats not the purpose of our book club. maybe yours (collectively) are.
we have out girls nights out ofr that stuff.
her life tends to take over . one member is so sick of her and she has her as a neighbour as well and this member asked for a suspenions til the autumn for her sanity.

so i was trying to be plain and honest here obvioulsy mumsnet withces still lurk....

LIZS she aint dyslexic, she had a weeks in the sun prior to our last meeting and didnt read the book she chose for the club saying she needed a break?!!

Its 2 years old this club. We have been quite accomodating.

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/06/2008 15:14

Someone must have invited her to join. Your opening comment suggest you are snooty towards her and her behaviour so no ownder she is defensive. Did Z send her the text deliberatley to wind her up, and even if she didn't it was a snide thing to say.

Maybe she has other commitments, is dyslexic or finds it hard to read the books but just enjoys a regular night out anyway. Maybe she would read the book after a discussion, as you might if you saw a film first, and I can't see how she can be seen as confrontational in a book discussion where she hasn't read it. You lot sound rather unaccommodating.

wotulookinat · 05/06/2008 15:06

MO? I meant MP!

wotulookinat · 05/06/2008 15:00

Oh dear. I think you need to cut her some slack. As MO says, she must get something from the club to keep going, so let her be. I presume there was no entrance exam to get into the club so all are surely welcome. You have come across as snobby, I'm afraid.

Carmenere · 05/06/2008 15:00

Well I can see why it might be annoying but you do come accross as being quite bitchy. If you don't want her to come anymore you could always just tell her and tell her why. But I suspect you know that that would be just nasty which is why there is a problem in the first place.
I would just ignore her and keep out of it iiwy.

morningpaper · 05/06/2008 14:57

WHAT? ARE YOU ONE OF THE WITCHES AT THE SCHOOL GATE?

I don't see the problem, she obviously gets something out of being there, just ignore her silly comments and smile and nod and move onto the next person

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