we have a problem in our book club

One of BC members always asks whether there has been a film done, she is very dyslexic and always a few books behind.

i would ban all books that have ever been on tv or filmed in case people thought there was a short cut to knowing the plot

at Sophie.

rofl sophie

you are now eleigible to join

Austen didn't write Wuthering Heights

glad I'm not in your book group that's all I can say...(to OP)

what does topic closed mean ?

are you trying to close down the thread lol

i nthink any quite small group it is dificult to manage fi for whatever reason someone deosnt fit in

We had two book clubs - a really sniffy hoity toity one (aka 'two garages') and another wine-swilling one ('one garage'), where everyone was friendly and understood that sometimes people are just lonely and need an excuse to leave the house... twas a v big thing which book club you belonged to. being a total tart i of course flitted between the two... disloyal to the extreme. and i only had one garage.

MsB's suggestions are spot on.

Or just agree together that the group should be wound up. leave it a few months then start again but without her..! Although that runs the obvious risk that she'll find out.

If this woman has read only 2 or 3 out of 16-18, I think it's unlikely she'll read something else but just hasn't found her genre yet. Perhaps she doesn't even open them, I don't know how you wouldn't be drawn in and persevere otherwise (with exceptions etc). So what's to say she'd read something else.

Also, it doesn't sound like she's intimidated by the other members (by the fact she can monopolise discussion when it's about her private life), just not really interested in books.

i would love to go to a bookclub you are all lucky to have them

i tried to find one here and iether they are very private or dont exist

i did used to be in one about 10 years ago to do with the natioan l housewives register but that doesnt exist now

MsBombastic makes a very very good suggestion.

Maybe you should, at the next meeting, have a 'review' of how the group is going/working.

This could be along the lines of 'we've been meeting for two years now and thought it would be useful to talk about the structure, how formal it is, if the book genres are appealing to everyone, if the gaps between books are long enough etc.'

You would have to be careful not to gang up on your troublesome member, but it might throw some light on what her issues are. You might also discover others who think certain changes might make it more inclusive/interesting.

In my group we take it in turns to present 4/5 books for a group decision on the next one to be read. At another group I know they go through the genres, and this month they are doing Chick Lit and have previously done a Jilly Cooper, just for fun and because some had never read one.!

It may be that your friend - is she that, I'm not entirely sure? - would find it suited her better if she came to every other meeting, or those where the book appealed to her.

If she isn't as widely read as some of you then her 'virgin' approach to some of the classics might, in fact, be a rewarding contribution to the book discussion (whereas at the moment maybe she is simply too intimidated to make herself a part of it all).

Just some thoughts - but I have to admit I get irritated by those who don't take my group as seriously as I do, but I tend to just joke about it openly, then get some stick for being so ridiculous...and we move on without anything festering.

Good luck.

Well, this happened in our book group. We started 5 years ago, and then a girl who is a friend to some members of the group asked if she could join us 6 months ago. We were all unsure about someone new coming into a long-standing group but we all agreed that the kind thing to do was to say yes. It was a disaster!! She didn't read ANY of the books, so couldn't contribute anything to the "book" part of the evening, which doesn't last long so in the end we took the bull by the horns and asked her if she really wanted to be part of the group, as she didn't seem to actually like reading! Turns out that she wasn't enjoying the book discussion part of the evening, and hadn't realised that you actually have to attempt to read the book..... Anyway, she had been too scared to tell us that she didn't want to come along any more, having badgered us to join. Maybe you could gently suggest to your friend that she may prefer to come along to the socials rather than coming every month and feeling "left out" of the discussion?

Give her a break. Pick an Anne Tyler book, say Back when we were grown ups or An Amateur marriage or Breathing lessons or Ladder of Dreams.

Any of those books would be SO easy to read, but not too 'fluffy' for you intellectuals

You may enjoy reading a book like that. If you've read alll of those, what about an Alice HOffman, Barbara Trapido??

Book club is all about getting away from your children and having a glass of wine!

Make her feel good about herself, not shit!!

I understand hermy's p.o.v. I think it's quite clear they don't like the woman for the book club, or maybe not at all. I think the question was how to say it to her indirectly. For that, I have no idea.

You can't boot someone out of your bookclub that would be just too cruel and rude.

You just have to tolerate her and find ways around it.

Christ. The whole point of a book club is that its a CLUB, not a PHD course.

Our book club is like Wheelybugs, we meet in the pub, most have rad the book, we order something to eat catch up on news, talk about that book and others, decide what we are going to read next, its fun and relaxed.

well she knows you're talking about her behind her back now.

just tell her the problem - you want her to read the books and pitch up on time. if the group is that important to her, she'll start doing it and things will improve, or she'll stop going.

I don't think I would like to be part of your Book club.
Your group sounds really bitchy.
Would you like to read my dissertation on 'War and Peace' and then have a good bitch about it.
Oh no, sorry , you wouldn't do it to my face would you. You would do it behind my back.
Why don't you do her and yourselves a favour and tell her directly that maybe it is best she doesn't come anymore.

It's always unfortunate when a group has a problem with an individual.
That individual always senses it, and it is therefore unsurprising that this woman is defensive.

I would be defensive if I accidentally got a text that proved grown women had been commenting about me behind my back.
"yes, and maybe she'll read the book" sounds very smug.

I'm not sure why a book club can't just be a relaxed affair - it's supposed to be enjoyable, surely?

I think you all need to be grown up about this - if you don't want this woman there, tell her.

However, the fact that she stills turns up even though she clearly senses that other members have an issue with her, indicates that the group is quite important to her.

IMO, it's nothing to do with her not being as "literary" as the rest of you (whatever that means!), you just don't like her very much.

If you do want to help her integrate more comfortably in the group though, you could choose a novel that is also available as an audiobook. Perhaps she may have time to listen to it on an MP3, whereas she may not have the time to sit down and read the entire book.

Or offer to meet up with her to read a couple of chapters out loud over coffee.

Perhaps she should come to ours - only ever about half the club turn up at any one time, of those at least 1 or 2 haven't finished the book. We then spend about 2 hours catching up and then 15 mins on the book. We all love it .

However, I guess if everyone is more serious about it, then I can imagine it must be a PITA. Hmmm.. who was it whose village had 3 book clubs of different literary-ness and you had to be invited to join a partciular one - thats the way to sort it out !