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Original poster

we have a problem in our book club

136 replies

hermykne · 05/06/2008 14:55

to kinda sum up, one member is not as literary as the rest of us, i am trying to explain this without sounding snobby but certain words are needed to explain this proble,

she always arrives late and so misses the "book" review.
she has read maybe 2/3 books out of the 16/18 we have done. she hasnt even read the awful ones she picks.

she is very confrontational, when points are raised or opinions about the "book" or general chit chat.

its really annoying, it changes the whole ambiance to the evening, last one 3 of us went home furious with her.

i would say she is naive and this doesnt help and shes protecting her ability to be considered a book reader by being so defensive.

anyway one member W sent a txt to another (Z) asking if the problem re her (U) attendance had been solved - text to all nxt event is on X and one must have read the book to attend-

receiver of txt (Z) replied and sent it to our problem member instead (U), stating yes and maybe she'll read the book.

so Z and U had a talk and she was defensive as usual

what to do
we are having a summer recess as some of the other memebrs just cant listen to her silliness for much longer, and these are older members, she is our youngest.
so

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:11

tell her the club has moved to sunday and it is now going to be run the same way as your sunday night lush piss ups have always been

but you are starting a new seriois book club with strict rules on the old book club night

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 19:10

scottishmummy cheerio, i dont need your comments. would you say them to my face at the school gates....

did u read my comment after sophie re bronte?

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Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 19:09

zog i agree. we are not pushing her out but trying to get her to see the point of the club and partake, challenge herself. direct questions as suggested by confederate get ignored or some excuse is given. and we are just fed up with that

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scottishmummy · 05/06/2008 19:08

hermykne have read all your posts and you make some nasty acerbic comments about the poor lady.sheesh the group sound like a right nasty ole coven do you get any reading done in between bitching/bellyaching/texting about said lady?

and since you are so fond of your literature as has been already noted Bronte wrote wuthering heights not Austen how

deargod i hope the lady in qustion runs, fast away from this nit picking navel gazing fault finding little ole book group

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 19:06

dalek appreciate your comments, two members really love the club and would hate for it to stop. i get the feeling what happened to yours could be our route too. but hopefully we'll get upfront on the matter now.
there are 2 new rules anyway, you must read to atttend and you must be on time.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:06

i shall have my dinner and come back with any more ideas

zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:05

pass round an inanimate object like a hairbrush to denote who can speak

zog · 05/06/2008 19:04

I've been a member of a few different book clubs over the years and it is difficult when there's an odd one out, whichever way round it is tbh e.g. one member constantly pulling discussion back to the book when everyone was really there for a chinwag over a glass of wine/one member not attempting any of the books because she "didn't fancy them" (and being pretty vocal in her dislike) in a group where we took it turns to choose and waded through everyone's choice whether we enjoyed it or not. Both scenarios weren't great tbh so you have my sympathy. As you can see from this thread, there are many different types of book club, so possibly your friend would enjoy a more relaxed club where the books are more incidental, rather than yours where the books are the main focus.

Confederate · 05/06/2008 19:04

You need the questionnaire.

Confederate · 05/06/2008 19:04

Could you just drop hints? Like in nice, not confrontational way?

Like saying 'Have you read the book this month U?' and then give her a big smile, maybe tap her on the knee or something, in a friendly way and say ' I wonder why you bother coming when you never read the book.'

zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:04

recruit more mebers to dilute her

appoiunt different people each time to talk more than she does

dalek · 05/06/2008 19:03

We had a similar situation in our book group - we tried various things - saying that if you hadn't read the book not to come to the meeting - having alternate months -one month book discussion one month social. Usually the lady in question ha not read the book so would steer the converation away from any discussion to do with the book. It was a really difficult situation as we all got on really well. In the end most people in the group got fed up with the situation and stopped coming. Eventually we decided to make it in to a social club and not even pretend to have a book. Unfortunately what happened then was that people stopped making the effort to come.

The rest of us have now joined other book groups but it's a shame about the original. However I think that sometimes these sort of groups have a natural life which eventually comes to an end and I think this is what happened to us.

Sorry to hijack but just wanted you to know that it's not just you. It's very difficult when 6 out of 7 people have made the effort to read the book, want to talk about it but are continually undermined/interrupted by the one person who hasn't read it (this was our situation - not saying it is yours)

Good luck

MargaretMountford · 05/06/2008 19:03

fair enough,I missed the bit about drink

zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:02

the op is a bit long tho

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 19:02

look its upsetting for me not to be relaxed in my own book club, we are a nice mix of people , 40's and 30's diff age kids so we get a nice balance of things.
all i wondered was how to deal with a radical in the camp, lets use that euphenism.

and because we are nice we are not confrontational and are waiting for an explosion before dealing with the pet annoyances.

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:02

i love the title of this thread by the way

plain and simple and just slightly enigmatic

Confederate · 05/06/2008 19:01

I've been thinking.

You should ditch her.

The lady who ran my old book club would have asked her to leave, not that's for sure.

zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:01

anyway if i want my own book club with more than just me as a member do i put it in the post office or what?

zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 19:00

oh you should let someone else do the kids

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 19:00

MP - we meet at 8 once we've kids to bed.

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zippitippitoes · 05/06/2008 18:59

well if you all dont want her ethen how to get rid doesnt matter if its underhand or not really the result its the same

bundle · 05/06/2008 18:59

i'm in 2 book groups, they're very different. one is much more rule-centred and tbh i get teh most out of that one. the other one tends to be books which i don't find v challenging and tbh i sometimes need that.

morningpaper · 05/06/2008 18:58

what about my idea of meeting earlier

Confederate · 05/06/2008 18:57

Anyway, why haven't you spoken to this lady about your worries? I think having things out in the open during a nice, easy chat is usually for the best.

Original poster
hermykne · 05/06/2008 18:56

zippi what an underhand suggestion

margaret you didnt read another bit re drink either , naughty you..tut tut

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