Mills & Boon - just loaned my first one from the library

Later that evening, Catriona reflected on her day as she gazed pensively into the bronze antique mirror her late much-loved French grandmother had left her in her will. Large grey eyes fringed with impossibly long lashes asked the question "Why do I feel so strangely drawn to a man I've never met before?"
Her rescue kitten wound itself round her slim ankles, bringing her back to the present. "Oh there you are Tiger," she murmured, picking him up and burying her face in his silky fur, before padding through to her small but quaint hand-painted kitchen to put the kettle on.
Later, curled up in front of a cosy log fire, cradling a mug of cocoa and with Tiger purring contentedly beside her, Catriona found her thoughts straying back to the reason she'd left her old life in the big city behind.

It's all getting a bit 🥵

She felt an odd jerk of electricity as his fingers touched her arm, but quickly repressed the sensation.
'Good morning, Mr Smotherington-Cliff, I’m Catriona Bellingham. I hope I’m not late?'
'Perhaps five minutes.' She noticed, despite herself, how sensitively well-shaped his hands were as he extended a wrist to check his watch, then looked away, annoyed at her own stupidity. 'But that's neither here nor there. Follow me, this is where you'll be working. It’s right next to my office, so be prepared for me to call you in quite a lot…'

Oh i love this stuff, was always stealing my nans 😂Nice easy read and some are so cheesy its funny.

Also, back in the day a friend lent my mum a heap of Suzanne Brockman books - the Tall dark and dangerous series. Each book is about a different member in a Navy Seal team. My teenage self loved them so much i still have half of them 20 years later, i'll give them back one day 😁

I did a 6 week residential course when I was 16 and the host family had a bookcase of the Medieval Historic M&B books. They were fabulous, so corny and all the same template but just so easy to read and enjoy.

GMTA on the heavy doors

I like your style, no messing about, straight to it! (Probably just as well; my battery's on 1%)

Oh, @TipulophobiaIsReal, you've definitely built more tension!

I can already feel my heart pounding with breathless anticipation ...

Aw, he seems quite nice!

With a deep, determined intake of icy air, she recalled her grandmother's advice to her as a shy schoolgirl: "Chin up, shoulders back, chest out!" She pushed open the heavy glass door and strode through to the marble-floored foyer.

Smotherington-Cliff stepped forward, waiting a moment as Catriona smoothed her wind-tousled chestnut hair. He was taller than she remembered, and lanky, his sharp features now softened by a friendly smile. "Welcome on board," he said, lightly taking her arm, "Let's get you settled."

Perfect!

As ever, she calmed herself by running through her French and German verb tables. Je suis, tu es, il elle on est… the familiar sounds soothed her, rocked her, reminded her that she was an educated young woman who had no reason to feel lesser. And yet her slender figure seemed even slighter against the imposing edifice and heavy double doors of the Old Manse, as it was known to the villagers.

Ooh @TipulophobiaIsReal re 'Velvety Penis' - that's Julie Birchill territory in her novel 'Ambitiion'. She inserted (pun intended) in every other paragraph only to be topped by her electric toothbrush trying to kill by her - obviously via Vagina, I'm sure sure she was cackling away whilst typing and knowing she already had a publication deal in the bag!

Actually, it may not have been a sub-series. Maybe it was just one author who went rogue and decided to introduce the M&B-reading public to fuzzy-cocked alien erotica. I remember deliberately reading that one because I was (and am) into SF, so there must've been something about the cover art or title that conveyed that, but I'm pretty sure it was the only one like that they had. If it was a particular series within M&B, you'd think whoever donated them would've had more than one.

Catriona Bellingham hesitated, pulling her old black coat over her slightly shabby skirt & blouse. The wind outside the building was fierce and chilling but her cheeks blushed red. Her new boss, Mr. Smotherington-Cliff, was waiting inside to introduce her to her colleagues and indeed, her new job.

Someone needs to suggest a time period, situation, and level of Hawtness…

Let's start one here!

I tried to write one years ago! You could actually send off for guidance / template - e.g chapter and overall length (no pun intended), what was allowed re explicitness (they had a more raunchy catalogue) etc. I never got beyond typing out page 4; had to get to his throbbing pulse (neck) or some indication of how he was trying to keep his lust in control whilst virginal maiden - confused; eyes welling up at perceived rejection - bit lip in a becoming manner.

Aw man, this brings back some memories. I was stuck in hospital for several months as a teen, and they had a shelf with dozens and dozens of these things. So my perception is probably skewed by that… couldn't face one again.

But IIRC they're easy, relaxing reads, manageable even with my then-reduced ability to concentrate; some of the writers manage to wedge some reasonably engaging stuff into the fairly inflexible formula; and if you don't like what you're reading, then at least it's over quickly and you can try a different one.

I just wish I could get some kind of confirmation that I'm not going completely mad WRT this one story I remember. All I know is it was a vaguely science-fictiony themed sub-series, and the male love interest was a (hot) alien with a furry(?) or at least velvety penis. No, I don't know how that could possibly work with a human woman. It's possible I misunderstood the language, or took it too literally, but that was definitely the impression I got from what I read.

When my granny died we found literal suitcases full of M&B books! She was elderly but she'd been reading them for years... Absolutely loved them, I never saw her without one.

Enjoy, but you'll probably get bored quickly! I read my mother's collection as a teen in the 80's & remember 2 of the main formulas:

Girl meets Boy (GMB) and they experience instant hate. Circumstances conspire to put them together (trapped in a lift, locked in a room, marooned on deserted island). They fall in love, he stares at her in that special way and it's suddenly ON.

GMB, opposing forces keep them apart. They fall in love & it's ON. They seemed to go from 0 to 100 really quickly. Guess it's all the build up?

Have fun!

Designed to get you all hormonal and they are addictive!

As a teen I could finish one in an afternoon. Absolutely guilty pleasure.

It doesn't matter much which one you read, there is a formula!
I worked in a library in about 2000 and lots of ladies used to get an entire stack of them every week. One week one of the ladies came up to the desk to complain that one of them was rude. I was fairly new and this was the first complaint I'd had about the content of the book. I asked my manager what to do. Of course she said highlight the rude bits and out it in the staff room! We all had a giggle then returned it to the shelf.

Oh god I read these when I was a teenager (in my 40s now) as they were in the library. Absolutely awful 😂

I had to look then up after seeing this thread and they are still being churned out!

I read them as a child, all the books my gran had in the house. I think I liked them.