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I just read a terrible book

687 replies

Orangeis · 06/02/2023 11:29

Bring me back, B A Paris.

What a load of absolute tosh. A man's partner dissapears, 6 years later he gets with her sister and lives with her. The big twist is.....the new girlfriend is actually the missing sister. He didn't realise this as she had a different hair do.
That's hours of my life I'll never get back. I feel like taking the book in to the back garden and burning the bugger.
What's your worst book and why?

OP posts:
Clawdy · 06/02/2023 13:07

Anything by Sophie Hannah is usually a real disappointment. Always starts with an intriguing premise, then ends with a ridiculously unbelievable explanation.

Whatislove82 · 06/02/2023 13:07

No.1 Ladies Detective Agency

@FrogsHiccups

What the hell made you decide to read a book with that kind of title!!

MargaritMargo · 06/02/2023 13:06

ive read one of her books, ‘Behind closed doors’

absolute drivel. Totally demented rubbish. I would not read another!

It’s not really my genre anyway but was going through a little Kindle phase of buying cheap, well reviewed books. Never again!

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 06/02/2023 13:06

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 06/02/2023 12:58

I don’t think they write these books themselves, they just put their name on them. So the books are all ones which couldn’t get published on merit.

I used to know a famous jockey and tv presenter who ‘ wrote’ novels about racing . He once told me he was looking forward to reading the one that had just been published.

I'd be surprised if Richard Osman doesn't write his own (terrible) books. He's so proud of them. He appeared on the last series of Who Do You Think You Are an he kept going on about his characters and his inspiration and his writing process Grin

FrogsHiccups · 06/02/2023 13:05

Thursday Murder Club

No.1 Ladies Detective Agency

Whatislove82 · 06/02/2023 13:04

Just cannot understand all the hype.

because the readers who love books like the, shudder, Thursday Murder Club, enjoy the books that are all on Richard and Judy’s summer reading list.

There are SO many utterly amazing books out there but if you don’t know, then perhaps, shudder again, like the Thursday murder club is a good read

just started “I’m Sorry you feel like that”

and already utterly absorbed. If you enjoyed sorrow and bliss (phenomenal) you will enjoy this

TheEarlofButties · 06/02/2023 13:03

I restarts/ends with us, absolute bollocks

CaptainMyCaptain · 06/02/2023 13:02

I read the Richard Coles book. Not great literature by any means but it was written in his 'voice' so I believe he wrote it.

Whatislove82 · 06/02/2023 13:01

Oh and The finder of lost things

Comically shite

Whatislove82 · 06/02/2023 13:00

The Richard osman Thursday murder club absolute pile of shit

it is the modern day “da Vinci code”

I aggressively despised it!! 😂

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 06/02/2023 13:00

Oh yes, Birdsong was another one. I didn't feel at all moved by it. But I've had a grumble against Sebastian Faulks ever since I read some thing of his where he said Marian Halcombe (from The Woman in White) was so ugly you could only shag her from behind. Or something ridic like that.

I mean...have you ever looked in a mirror, Mr Faulks?!

I can't stand any Marian slander.

LordEmsworth · 06/02/2023 13:00

OP - the author might have been "inspired" by the actual true story, where the dead woman's "sister" turned up and basically tried to pick up where the "deceased" left off Her "widower" was convinced... Her colleagues weren't. To be fair, she had lost weight as well as getting a new hair do...

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audrey_Marie_Hilley

MorrisZapp · 06/02/2023 12:59

Pringlesinthebath · 06/02/2023 12:10

The Best Things by Mel Giedroyc.
Its the only book which has ever made me angry because it was so awful. I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s utterly two dimensional, unbelievable, shallow and completely not engaging with a haughty privileged perspective.

She wrote a pregnancy book that is truly, truly dire. She expects us to believe that she didn't know she was pregnant until all her family and friends had noticed and told her, and that she went to Wormwood Scrubs prison for her booking in appointment because she thought it was a hospital.

Is is FUCKING AWFUL.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 06/02/2023 12:58

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 06/02/2023 12:44

This is one that I chucked about a third of the way through. Thought it was such third rate stuff. But he obviously sells as his books are all now given the window display at Waterstone's treatment. Thought it was funny that Rev Richard Coles then released a similar sounding 'cosy crime' novel. Publishers clearly looking to repeat Osman's success.

I don’t think they write these books themselves, they just put their name on them. So the books are all ones which couldn’t get published on merit.

I used to know a famous jockey and tv presenter who ‘ wrote’ novels about racing . He once told me he was looking forward to reading the one that had just been published.

VirginiaQ · 06/02/2023 12:57

Orangeis · 06/02/2023 11:29

Bring me back, B A Paris.

What a load of absolute tosh. A man's partner dissapears, 6 years later he gets with her sister and lives with her. The big twist is.....the new girlfriend is actually the missing sister. He didn't realise this as she had a different hair do.
That's hours of my life I'll never get back. I feel like taking the book in to the back garden and burning the bugger.
What's your worst book and why?

Not read the book you're referring to but sounds like he could be inspired by the true story on Marie Hilley who pretended to be her own twin sister and formed a relationship with her own husband as the twin sister.

Incredible story and as they say the truth is stranger than fiction

GloomyDarkness · 06/02/2023 12:57

Few years ago and was a well meant gift - the fingersmith by Sarah Waters. It was annoying - I can read utter tripe but it was too much tripe which honestly is really saying something.

Never let me go - the plot holes were annoying and it was another gift.

I've got to the point when I don't really like books as gifts or pushy suggestions from relatives as my tastes while wide ranging seem to out of step to others.

Mintakan · 06/02/2023 12:54

I loved A Walk in the Woods … can’t understand how anyone could say it was boring, it was hilarious! I also love The Paper Palace.

SPQR has been on my kindle for two years. I manage to read a few pages and then remember why I stopped the last time.

The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose. It had such potential but the ending was a car crash.

The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes. It was like running a marathon wearing high heels.

Chemenger · 06/02/2023 12:54

I really like quite a few that have been named. The one I hated (along with the film) was Life of Pi. Meant to be deep, actually just boring. And, of course Jane Eyre, which is the worst book ever written, tedious book about a tedious, whiny woman.

Namechange567775 · 06/02/2023 12:52

I listened to this on audiobook and it made me absolutely howl with laughter on the way to work every day. It’s shockingly bad, and the acting (is that the right word for audiobooks?!) is just something else.

IcakethereforeIam · 06/02/2023 12:49

The 100 year old man who climbed(?) Out the window by No Idea, all the characters were horrible, plot completely implausible.

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, tbf I don't think (hope) you were supposed to like the character, but the guy who seduces a child then abandons her so she commits suicide while he gets it on with the woman he'd been stalking for decades. Grim.

I abandoned A Discovery of Witches by I've Forgotten, but telling my kids about the vampire yoga class gave them a good laugh, so there's that. I might go back to it.

I did like Piranesi though.

AllTheBooks · 06/02/2023 12:48

dont bother with the newest BA Paris @Orangeis - The Prisoner is even worse in terms of plot development. Just drivel

PinotAndPlaydough · 06/02/2023 12:48

Maxwells Deamon. It was just weird and frankly shit.

peachgreen · 06/02/2023 12:48

Ditto Cloud Atlas which I adored (the less said about the film, the better)

sanabria · 06/02/2023 12:47

Brefugee · 06/02/2023 12:08

What's your worst book and why?

putting my hard hat on: The Alchemist. I have read a lot of awful awful books. But never one that is so hyped up by so many (millions) of people. Such a load of tosh.

Also Birdsong. I remember thinking at the time that if i want to read about a French adultress i can read Madame Bovary. And if i want to read about WW1 i can read All Quiet On The Western Front.
Gah to both of them

Second The alchemist! I could barely finish it.

Also, Night Waking by Sarah Moss. The characters were just awful. Annoying whingy children and smug self absorbed parents, and a storyline about nothing. I just listened to the end expecting a clever twist or something interesting to happen. But no. Dreary nonsense until the end.

peachgreen · 06/02/2023 12:47

Oh I think Jonathan Strange and Mr Norell is one of the great novels of all time! Taste is so crazy, isn’t it?

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