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Please help me find this book I borrowed from the library in 1990!

115 replies

FantasticButtocks · 14/12/2022 18:03

Not much to go on, sorry...
It had a brightish blue cover.
No idea of author or title, but either the husband or the baby was called Stephen/Steven, think it might actually have been the baby. Don't think the marriage was great. The mother suffers with intense loneliness and depression pnd after the birth, husband not very supportive or maybe doesn't understand... but eventually she finds something that interests her, can't remember what, maybe she starts to study, and starts to feel more human again. She starts going out and about with the pram, and also getting into her subject, she sometimes reads on a bench in the park. One day when she's doing this, very absorbed, the unthinkable happens and her child drowns in the pond.
She blames herself. Her husband blames her.

Very grim and sad, I read it when I'd just given birth to my first child Sad
I've looked for it often, without success and I'd be so grateful if anyone recognises it.
Thanks Smile

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FantasticButtocks · 15/12/2022 21:50

The juxtaposition of me reading it when I'd just had my first baby is maybe what made it unforgettable. I didn't know how the book would unfold but even once the main tragedy happened, I was compelled to keep reading. It was well written, but yes not in the least bit uplifting.

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AnyLightAtTheEnd · 15/12/2022 21:47

I want to read it

FantasticButtocks · 15/12/2022 21:45

carefulcalculator · 15/12/2022 18:01

That sounds a really uplifting read Grin

I know! Weird of me to want to find it, but it's been bugging me for years that a book I read 31 years ago should have had enough impact on me that I can still remember it. Shame that doesn't extend to either the title or the author Wink

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FantasticButtocks · 15/12/2022 21:41

HappyHogan · 15/12/2022 18:05

This is jogging a memory. Was it by joy fielding? I’m going on a search

Ooh I don't know... I'll look her up! Thanks 🙏

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FantasticButtocks · 15/12/2022 21:40

pinneddownbytabbies · 15/12/2022 18:10

@FantasticButtocks That rings a bell with me - could it have been by Catherine Cookson?

No, it wasn't. It was a bit more literary I think, small writing Xmas Grin cover was like the colours of a publishing house maybe, like Virago is green, but this was a kind of mumsnet blue...

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pinneddownbytabbies · 15/12/2022 18:10

@FantasticButtocks That rings a bell with me - could it have been by Catherine Cookson?

HappyHogan · 15/12/2022 18:08

No, that’s See Jane run. This is going to bug me too

SequinShagger · 15/12/2022 18:06

I’m here

HappyHogan · 15/12/2022 18:05

This is jogging a memory. Was it by joy fielding? I’m going on a search

Snowmannose · 15/12/2022 18:03

carefulcalculator · 15/12/2022 18:01

That sounds a really uplifting read Grin

I was reading the description thinking ‘why would you want to find it again?!’ And the ending was even worse!

Sorry I can’t help OP.

1MorePiece · 15/12/2022 18:03

Don't know the book but also interested now

carefulcalculator · 15/12/2022 18:01

That sounds a really uplifting read Grin

Climbingsteepsteps · 15/12/2022 18:00

Bumping as also interested.

Spliffle · 15/12/2022 17:58

Wow what a book, I'm interested now..

FantasticButtocks · 15/12/2022 17:57

Oh dear, no one knows Xmas Sad

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