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Original poster

bad sex awards: how about childbirth?

259 replies

Elasticwoman · 28/11/2007 16:55

Article in the Times touched on the literary award for bad sex in a novel. I wondered whether any one has any contributions for a literary bad birth in a novel?

Can't think of any toe curlingly embarrassing childbirth in fiction myself, but a funny one in Adrian Mole, when Adrian witnesses the birth because the nurses mistakenly thought he was the baby's father, so we see the birth through his eyes and then the fun of the nurses' horror when they realised who he was! (Thanks Sue Townsend - a memorable scene.)

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 04/12/2007 12:55

I haven't actually said I don't want knickers.

Although obviously I'd prefer book sales. And some more Amazon reviews.

(And a Mumsnet Live Chat! That would be the height of fame... better than R&J...)

PatsyCline · 04/12/2007 12:42

Thanks, KathyisSixInchesHigh!

Obviously, please don't tell anyone that I am Jackie Collins in RL. Off to select a leopard-print thong from my boudoir and will get my staff to get it airmailed to UQD.

Patsy x

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 04/12/2007 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 04/12/2007 12:28

Patsy - email me (address further down thread) and I will tell you. If you promise faithfully it is so you can buy the book, not so you can send him your knickers .

PatsyCline · 04/12/2007 12:25

Have read book threads featuring UQD, but have cold so obviously too dense to detect his accidental outing. Any clues, please? I want to buy the book.

Patsy x

katepol · 04/12/2007 12:15

I am pleased no one as outed UQD on here - but I would love to know all the same!

the clan w @ yahoo co uk (no spaces etc etc)

UQD - how about posting the birth scene from your book on here now? I would love to read it. Any kind of birth scene seems pretty uncommon in books, and I would be interested in reading one written by a man. Alternatively, you could say who you are and I will buy the book .

onebatmother · 04/12/2007 11:51

have been trying to google but 'male author less famous o'farell -parsons childbirth' isn't giving me much.

onebatmother · 04/12/2007 11:48

okay swedes i implore you kate at minimum dot co dot uk

gosh how exciting.

UnquietDad · 04/12/2007 11:19

I like those Usborne books. I do good Poppy and Sam voices.

Swedes2Turnips1 · 04/12/2007 11:18

I don't think a career with MI6 is assured, necessarily. Usborne books contain a little duck on every single page which the young reader must find. Finding UQD is much much easier.

UnquietDad · 04/12/2007 11:13

Wahey!!

Swedes2Turnips1 · 04/12/2007 11:09

UQD - I have managed to solve the mystery of who you are. This is the day that I order one of your books from Amazon .

UnquietDad · 04/12/2007 11:00

I've already done it once so I hope you don't mind if I don't do it again!

onebatmother · 03/12/2007 23:18

oh too mean EW!

Ok, I'm going to give it a go I think. gestation will be long, birth painful etc etc.
so many shite metaphors, so little time.

Original poster
Elasticwoman · 03/12/2007 22:03

I don't think there is a topic called Creative Writing but if any one would like to write a fictional childbirth scene under say, Adult Fiction, I'd like to read it.

Like to kick off UQD? (You could just condense the one you've already written).

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 03/12/2007 10:13

No, I'm not John O'Farrell. Not that famous!

onebatmother · 02/12/2007 23:59

Oh gowon.
That's a good idea, you know it is!
Cowards.

onebatmother · 02/12/2007 22:49

SO Anywaays
Shall we start a Creative Writing thread for Best childbirth scene?

onebatmother · 02/12/2007 22:46

damn haven't read last one tho. is there childbirth scene in JOF last novel? a/one?

onebatmother · 02/12/2007 22:45

we love you if you are. well i do.

CountessDracula · 02/12/2007 22:23

Tony Parsons
yeuch

Are you JOF UQD??

onebatmother · 02/12/2007 22:18

So he's J O'F then?

MerryAnnSinglemas · 01/12/2007 11:52

thanks vulgar - that's a lovely thing to say ! I always like to read A Country Child's Christmas chapters about this time - you can smell the apples in the apple chamber and feel the snow - fabulous !

Vulgar · 01/12/2007 10:49

Thanks MerryAnn.

You are brilliant for recommended reads. I have loved all the ones you have recommended so far.

I'm reading "The Country Child" at the moment, which I'm loving for it's soothing qualiites. A great book when madness is going on all around!

MerryAnnSinglemas · 30/11/2007 23:33

www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/o/john-ofarrell/

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