The Cruel Mother - book of the month for September

I'm going to head off to bed now but will think about the book some more and check this thread again tomorrow.

Nice talking to you all! Night, night!

But SP - what if there is something like this in your family? Sian Busby knew more about her great-grandmother than most of us do because she'd done this terrible thing. Someone said to me once that all families have secrets. I definitely want to find out more about my family and I want to try and imagine whether traits I have are inherited - but I always think of the nice things.

Really thought provoking

Itmade me think more about my family too. I found a family tree for my grandmother's paternal family when I was preg with dd, and started trying to trace the female line. Didn't get very far - the book has inspired me to try again now, but how I'll find the time I don't know.

Sorry ladies, I have to disappear, I can hear shenanigans in the dd's bedorrm, and they should be asleep! Off to do my stern Paddington Bear stare at them. I will try and add more thoughts tomorrow if that is ok?

It made me think about the people/families that lived in our street, our house was built around 1900, but there are a few houses in the street that date back to 1820 something, I was trying to imagine what things must have been like over the years that the book was set in.

it made me think about the women in my family history a bit more. imaginging them as real people, not just faces in pictures and names on the tree.

i think i might try and look into their circumstances a bit more - particularly as i have just named DD EXACTLY after my great grandmother without realising (first name and middle name).

Yes she did, you are right. I wonder how her family feel about this being turned into a book?

I think she said in the introduction that she was piecing together the facts and stories about the family from the time and parts of it were assumptions.

I don't know. I guess it was written from a v female pov. He wasn't really properly accounted for imo.

Loved the book and echo the others who are saying it makes us realise how easy we have it in comparison.

I could really relate to Sian and her grandmother when she talked about the odd feelings you have after having a baby, thoughts about how easy it would be to put an end to things, most women don't but some like Beth did. Makes you realise how scary lack of sleep and raging hormones can be.

Loved the way the book was written for large parts it was definately a history book but then it would catch you up in the story again. Would recommend it to anyone and would read books by the same author again.

Oh I felt so sorry for Bert! I mean he lost his little girl too, then his wife gets very depressed, gives birth to triplets, one of which is stillborn, then she kills the other two and is locked up. I really wanted to hear his story too. He obviously loved Beth so much - but was he really that understanding - wasn't a bit of him angry?

I liked the history too SenoraPostrophe - although it confused me at times because she wrote the "characters" as if she was living them - then I remembered that they were real people and this was not fiction. Although she must have "made some bits up" beacuse she didn't know how they were feeling etc.

I guess she was using the example of her family to illustrate the times.

I was quite moved by the way she described how hard her husband tried to get her released from Broadmoor (broadmoor ffs!).

Also I really enjoyed the history. Should have studied it really.

I liked the bit about lacemakers' sons roaming the streets and causing trouble.

Just goes to show that a)hooliganism/lads causing trouble is not a new thing and b) that poor women in the last century were not in fact always complete angels / martyrs: it reminded me of a thread recently in which someone said that she wanted to spend every minute of every day with her daughter and that her grandmother would have laughed at the idea of "me" time.

I know! I'd heard some of those before but always pictured unmarried young women resorting to that - not the older married women who were just desperate not to have to endure another pregnancy and baby.

I found the historical background of how the law had changed. Also I know many of us bemoan how the doctors are involved in pregnancy and delivery now and it's all too hi-tech but it did make me realise that I would prefer it like it is now (with risks of "intervention") than like it was then. Beth's delivery of the triplets was horrific! Was anyone pregnant whilst they read the book?

I did find my mind wandering a bit though, when she was describing the past. I had to keep reminding myself that it would come together in the end, and I did find myself getting more absorbed again. Her descriptions of what she though happened the morning the twins drowned made me feel I was there watching like a fly on the wall.

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Yes it made me consider my lot a little differently. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself having to look after a 5 week old baby and a 2 year old AS WELL as doing the housework, cooking etc. Then I thought that at least I don't have 4 other children, at least I don't have to make lace all day, at least I have a comfortable home.

Hi all. I found the book absolutely fascinating for the most part, particularly the general information about women/healthcare/infanticide. Have to confess I found some of the info about Beth's forbears a bit dull . I was surprised by how much I ended up sympathising with Beth, and how I felt that with all she went through (loss of a child), depression during PG, horrific sounding physical damage during childbirth, loss of a further child, that it was inevitable that Beth's mental health would be gravely endangered.

Hi all. I found the book absolutely fascinating for the most part, particularly the general information about women/healthcare/infanticide. Have to confess I found some of the info about Beth's forbears a bit dull . I was surprised by how much I ended up sympathising with Beth, and how I felt that with all she went through (loss of a child), depression during PG, horrific sounding physical damage during childbirth, loss of a further child, that it was inevitable that Beth's mental health would be gravely endangered.

OMG freddiecat - I was thinking as I was reading, "perhaps I shouldn't be reading this until ds is older" - he's 8 months. I did read Angela's ashes when dd was tiny though and became suddenly paranoid about her getting ill.

Anyway, evenin everyone. I also found the book compelling and was very surprised about it - I thought it sounded good from the review, but the first few chapters were just all over the place and I did begin to wonder if it would ever pull together. It did, in a very strange - it was almost as if I was following Busby's thought patterns as she tried to make sense of it herself. It must be the first book I've ever read in which the incoherence (or seeming incoherence, I should say)of the ideas was actually a plus point.

Evening Freddie Mine are pretty much all asleep, but dh is fending them off for me!

I pretty much agree with what you say. Thiswas all set about the time my grandmother would have been born, and I remember my great grandmother v well, as she died at the ripe old age of 90. She came from a v poor background too, and had loads of kids. It really made me see things through her eyes.

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Evening everyone! Hope you're all sitting there with kids in bed, large glasses of wine beside you ready to chat!

I have to say I found the book very compelling. I was reading it whilst my DD was only about 5 weeks old and it was scary thinking that the up-and-down hormones following the birth of a baby could have such an extreme effect. I can see why Sian Busby felt she had to investigate further - if Beth had been my gret-grandmother I think I'd have been unable to let it go too.