I don't want to ruin every book you're going to read from now, but have you noticed they all have the word

Oh and the 'sweet' smell of blood/death. Yes it smells sweet but not actually. Find something that actually works.

Whatever you do don't read Atonement. You will all be on the very of a killing spree by the time you are done. The whole damn this is a cliche. A smug cliche.

Just started a new book. 2 pages in and someone has padded to the kitchen

Women always apply a slick of lipstick.

Alistair I remember the book being pretty rubbish but the bacon sarnie bit always stuck in my mind! Don’t these lazy authors have editors?!

De-TRY-tus.

In case we are ever asked to do a reading, is it de-TRY-tuss or DET-ree-tus

When characters "reach" for something rather than picking it up. Just leave it within bloody arms length, then you wouldn't have to reach for it all the time.

MrsGrindah, I know the book you mean. What sticks with me was that, when she'd lost all the weight, she was able to cross her legs twice as she was so thin. I can do that and I am NOT thin.

It's been a while since I've read any Sarah Waters' books, but I remember that she often comments on characters' "sour breath" when they wake up.

People who don’t realise they’re crying. Does that ever happen in real life?

I thought I was going to have to give up on my current book - the first three times one of the third person narrators met one of the other characters he would admire some other factor of her appearance and conclude that yes, she was a beautiful woman. Fortunately he stopped doing it and got on with solving the damn crime.

Haha you're right about appearances being described. My favourite one is where they're describing their eyes as being slightly too far apart and one lip is plumper than the other or some nonsense.

I remember reading that for the first time and looking at myself wondering how far apart my eyes were.

Yes that’s true about individual quirks.

PD James uses ‘exophthalmic’ about people’s eyes in at least half her books . On the plus side, that led me to look it up as a teenager and I learned a new word (which I never use. But still).

“His stubble grazed her cheek”, that’s a popular one.

And I know that books don’t have to detail everything, but characters described as having long thick hair can not get out of the shower and throw their clothes on. Not unless they want a sopping wet back for hours.

I think a lot of authors have little quirks though. I love Jilly Cooper, but after reading a few of her books back-to-back you really start to notice her pet phrases

Ha this thread is brilliant! I have noticed in the last few books I've read that the households all seem to have extremely well-stocked fridges, complete with a bottle of white chilling ready for a glass with dinner, yet at no point does anyone seem to go to the supermarket.

I also hate how the main female character is always clearly meant to be stunningly beautiful yet has no idea - "Jane zipped up her size 8 jeans, frowning as they slipped a little to where her hip bones jutted out. She tried to remember when she last ate a decent meal - last night's oysters and champagne hardly counted. She slipped on a simple cotton T-shirt that skimmed her taut, tanned stomach and a blue jacket that matched her eyes. She quickly brushed her long,thick blonde hair and applied a coat of mascara before sighing at her reflection in the mirror. That would have to do."

Completely agree with the PP who mentioned about people eating an entire meal in two pages! I once read a scene in which the main character ( overweight single woman in love with her boss) would buy 2 bacon sandwiches every morning “ four bites and they were gone” Whaaaaat?!
In case you are all dying to know , she lost loads of weight and the boss fell in love with her. A classic.

Yes to the shrugging and slipping into clothes. What is it about getting dressed!?

I've also noticed "He shouldered his jacket" quite a few times. WTF?

Fair enough to remove it.

I did notice there was also a dressing gown accompanying the padding! :o

Coming back to say that in the proofs I’m working on, someone said something thickly a few pages back (he was drunk) - and now someone else is padding downstairs on bare feet.

I’m repeating myself because I’ve just reported my own post, above - immediately thought better of adding the photo. I don’t think the text could really be identified from that scrap but it feels wrong to have added it...

I hate it when people shake their heads to clear their thoughts. No one ever does that. Ever.

I've always loved the word detritus but can't use it in real life because I don't know how to say it

To the PP who was confused by someone (usually a man) talking thickly, in my head it sounds like when you get a frog in your throat and sound a bit odd (DS1 calls it his 'Anastacia' (the singer) voice)

I finished my latest book earlier today. I noticed all the heroine padding twice after reading this!

Stealth I don't have such a visceral hatred of that one but I can totally see your point.